EPISODE 9 – A BOY CALLED SIMON

I guess I deserve a ‘Welcome back’ from myself to myself from the ‘tag break’ and it seems I’m going to be taking another tag break pretty soon. I got tagged again by simeone in the ‘25 issues I have’ tag and I’m starting to see the reason behind the saying ‘Be careful what you wish for.’ I wished for the tags and they’re pouring in plenty plenty and holding up my episodes of ‘Geebee’s Trip.’ No wahala sha, I’ll definitely do this one even though it might take a little while. Geebee’s Trip must continue.

First I should respond to the ‘2 truths and 1 lie meme.’ I’m glad the responses poured in from you folks and I really proved that I wasn’t a good liar afterall. Quite a number of you got the lie right but I wouldn’t be able to do the analysis of the ‘correct’ and incorrect ones now like I saw on FFF's blog. Let’s hear the truths and the lies now.

1. I once slept with a mother of five – TRUE. This happened sometime in 2004-2005. Yeah, I know it sounds crazy and you should crucify me and stone me to death for this one but then it is the Lord that forgives, right? Doug, I am Godfearing o but I guess the devil was in charge as at the time this happened. Sometimes in life, we make a lot of mistakes and wish we could undo them but then the past is past. I would be talking about this one later on in subsequent episodes of ‘Geebee’s Trip’ and you’ll see how easy it is to fall into temptation and do things you’d never imagine you could do. More on this later. Hope y’all forgive me for this.




2. I once broke up with my girlfriend because I didn’t want to spend money on Valentine’s Day – LIE. Money has never been an object when it comes to my relationships. I have never tried to impress a girl with money. I'd simply tell a girl how well I am financially and if she's not going to stay because of that, then it's her loss. So far, I've never had such money wahala with any girl before. I have been broke on a coupl’a Valentine days but that has never been a reason for me to want to break up with a girl or something. Those of you who thought this was true (Rita, StandTall, Spicytee, Enkay etc.), no I didn’t. Now, some of you guys figured this out easy enough. Big ups to solomonsydelle, NoLimit and simeone. Now, how did you guys figure this one out? Does that mean you already believed # 1 was true? Haba, so you believe a poor innocent soul like me could commit such an atrocity. Anyways, nice one.

3. I made the first journey in life in a ship- TRUE. I was born in Liverpool, U.K in 1985 where my parents were students at the time, having been resident for about two years before then. I spent the first six months of my life there and on the return journey to Nigeria, we had so much luggage that an air ticket plus luggage charges would have been ridiculous so my folks took the option of traveling by ship and we spent almost two weeks before touching down at Apapa (so I heard). Thank God I never had that sea-sickness that my parents and so many others on board had. I think two people on board that ship actually died of sea sickness.

So, that’s that. Wao, took a while. Are we headed for another long post? I’ll try to make the remainder short. Here’s Episode 9 of Geebee’s Trip.

EPISODE 9 – A BOY CALLED SIMON
In Episode 8, I introduced Simon, my new ‘bolo’ friend. ‘Bolo’ is another name for ‘ajebota’ or ‘unexposed’ or ‘person wey neva soji.’ Let’s leave it at that. Now, I had never had the luxury of having my own pad, my own place. Simon on the other hand felt so lonely, being away from his parents’ shelter and on his own for the first time in his life. I constantly wished I could trade places with Simon and the thoughts of things I could do given that opportunity always sent shivers of ecstasy down my spine. I started spending a lot of time with my new friend. I’d pop out of the house once I had breakfast and be at Simon’s place till evening when it was time for lectures and then we’d leave together. However, I could not bring myself to sleeping at his place despite his pleas. My dad would have poured fire and brimstone.

Back in 2004, my friend, Simon was not really the academically smart type so I did my bit in explaining some of the school work and difficult problems to him and that further endeared him to me. However, like they say, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I was already into a whole lot of vices at the time. I drank, smoked, partied and even did the most evil thing – I patronized prostitutes. Simon was always too boring when it came to such youthful exuberance matters. Deep down nevertheless, I sensed a boy who wanted to explore and fly but was too scared to. He often assumed the stance of a bad boy to the outside world but I was the only one he could show his real self to. This trusting nature of his further touched me and I decided I would help this boy the best way I could. Now, I wonder if ‘help’ actually meant teaching him bad stuff. The first point of call was the ‘virginity issue.’ I was shell-shocked when Simon told me he was a virgin. On that fateful day, I had some extra change and since I had no girlfriend I decided I needed to get laid before heading home after school. There was a secluded brothel I had discovered a few months before. I casually asked my friend to accompany me.
“Where are you going?” Simon asked concernedly.
“Somewhere” I replied. “Actually, it’s a brothel.”
He looked confused. “Brothel? Or you mean hotel.”
“Whatever,” I said “It’s an ashewo joint.” I said matter-of-factly.
The shock in his eyes almost had me slapping him. “Ah, it’s a sin o.”
“Of course it’s a sin” I retorted, “And that’s why we pray for forgiveness. We sin everyday. A sin is a sin. Killing someone or cursing someone and going to fuck ashewo is all the same thing before God.” I knew I was wrong but I needed to act defensive.
‘Men, I’m shocked o.” Simon said.
I shrugged. “It does not matter. If I had a girlfriend, I won’t be doing this.” I further said. “It’s just like sleeping with your girlfriend, only that you have to pay for it.”
“Men, you are a bad boy o,” Simon said grinning and shaking his head.
“You mean you’ve not slept with a girl before,” I asked hoping he’d tell me he had done it before.
“Of course I have,” he said and I sighed with relief. There’s a kind of good feeling that beclouds you when you find out you’re not the only one doing a wrong thing. I guess that’s what I felt right then. We walked on in silence for a while before Simon spoke again.
“Geebee,” he said.
“What’s up?” I replied casually.
“Don’t tell anyone I told you this.”
“What?” I said, wondering if he was going to tell me he had AIDS. I decided instantly that if that was the case, then I’d run for my life. At that time, I guess I almost believed AIDS could be passed simply by touching.
“I’ve not had sex before.” Simon said looking ashamed.
All I could do was laugh. “You mean you’re a virgin!”
“Yes, I’m a virgin.”
I laughed a little longer. That day was his lucky day, I decided.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’S TRIP!