GEEBEE'S TRIP

EPISODE 21 – THE CRIME CALLED ‘GIRLFRIEND SNATCHING’

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 11:53:00 +0000

Hello Blogville! It’s been another loooooong while. Somehow, it’s been so difficult lately to keep up with life as a blogger and for this reason, I cannot help but salute the courage of blogville’s finest and most dedicated bloggers who have been able to keep up the tradition of dropping posts consistently over the years (or months as the case may be). When I think of bloggers like Solomonsydelle, Writefreak, Original Mgbeke, Rita, Bumight (she’s been a runaway sometimes though), Nice Anon and recently, Myne Whitman, Dufalicious, Enkay and so many other wonderful bloggers I cannot being to mention now for the sake of time and space, I can’t help but wonder how they have been able to keep up that blogging culture. Or is it that they have three heads or something? Well, I choose to attribute my disappearance from the scene to a loss of my ‘mojo’ or as Spesh called it ‘writer’s block’. Whatever reasons they were, it feels good to be back and I am seriously hoping I could do at least three or four more consistent posts before I disappear again. Anyways, I have begun making my New Year resolutions for 2010 and one of the major ones is ‘to become a faithful and devoted blogger’ like I used to be less than a year ago. So help me God! Did I hear someone say ‘Amen’ to that? Same to you.

GEEBEE’S TRIP continues with Episode 21 and the title of this episode might sound a little striking and probably mind-boggling. If I may ask this question; how would you feel as a guy if you saw your girl with some other guy? Now, that’s not just the case, else there’d have been no reason to give a shit (well, some would anyway). The scenario here gets a little tougher. Imagine you have a friend who convinced you to break up your girlfriend and you actually go ahead and ‘dump’ the babe and before you spell the words B R E A K U P, you see this guy and your now ‘ex’ girl cruising all over town. I bet most guys would try to kill that guy or at least call him a ‘backstabber’ to his face or behind his back. That was the exact situation I found myself in May 2005. Now, for those who have not been following GEEBEE’S TRIP, let’s do a little quiz:

Who among the following people represents me?
A. The Boyfriend
B. The ‘Backstabber’
C. The Girlfriend.

Send your answers (A, B or C) to 1807 before 12 midnight on December 15 and stand a chance of winning a trip into the New Year 2010. SMS charged at normal rates. All mobile networks are eligible; national and global.

Now, that was a foolish joke but come to think of it, some ‘wise’ folks would actually choose option C. Without wasting any more time (a welcome back post really shouldn’t be that long after all. Let’s hope this one’s not an exception), I’ll tell you all that the answer to the question is B. I guess I should let that sink in for a while . . . . . . . . Yes, B for Backstabber. I was indeed the backstabbing guy in question but before y’all begin to crucify me, I suggest you go through the previous episodes so you’ll understand better. This is not an attempt to exonerate myself from any crime (that’s if I indeed committed any crime) especially since on no grounds should any right thinking guy convince his friend to dump a girl because he intends to go out with her.

Well, after sometime, I was able to convince Sam to break up with BG. At that time, it seemed the most reasonable thing to do. It was more than obvious he was not at all interested in her and unfortunately she could not or chose not to smell the brewing coffee. On that fateful day, Sam and I had just finished lectures and were about leaving the school premises when we sighted BG coming towards us.
“Geebee, could you excuse me for a sec?” Sam said in a half whisper.
“No qualms” I said and walked on, wondering what he was up to. At that point, I had already begun to feel he would never come around to actually breaking up with her and in fact, I also decided I might have been sounding too keen on seeing him break up with her, which was never really my intention. I only felt he needed to break up with her so he could stop treating her as badly as he had been doing all the while.

Sam joined me about five minutes later. I had watched curiously from where I stood a little distance away as he conversed with BG. Their talk had been very brief, with my friend seeming to do most of the talking. As I watched him leave her, I immediately knew the conversation had not been a friendly one especially judging by the way she stood on the same spot as he walked away from her. A deep pang of guilt ran through me in that instant.
“Geebee, let’s go.” Sam said as he approached me.
I looked inquisitively at him as we walked on. We walked in silence towards the school bus stop for a while but my curiosity got the better of me.
“So what’s up?” I asked. “Wetin una dey talk?”
“I broke up with her” Sam said matter-of-factly.
That had been my suspicion already but at that moment, his confession hit me hard. I could not say a word for a few seconds. I knew I had convinced him to break up with her but I could not understand why I felt so guilty. I believed he had done the right thing but for a minute, I wished he had carried out his action without my influence.
“Do you feel bad about it?” I asked concernedly, in an attempt to ease my guilt.
“No. Why?” he said confidently. “I’m glad I finally got her off my back in fact. At least, I won’t have to worry about her pestering anymore”
“What did she say when you told her?” I asked.
He gave a sarcastic laugh as he spoke. “Can you imagine? She said she wanted to tell me the same thing too.”
I wondered if she actually told him that just to make him feel bad or if she really meant it but I had the feeling that she would never have wanted to end her relationship with him. I observed his countenance to see if he had any bad feelings about his actions. He looked okay and that sort of made me feel better. However, I still had the sad feeling beclouding me especially when I imagined how BG would be feeling at that moment. Minutes later we parted ways as he headed for his home. I found an excuse to wait at the bus stop. I was sure BG would come pretty soon. I felt I had to see her and make sure she was okay at least for that period. Sam’s bus had hardly left when I saw her approaching. My heart went out to her; however I was impressed by her calm mien. She did not at all look like someone who had just been dumped by a boyfriend.
“Hey Geebee, what’s up?” she said delightedly as she sighted me.
“I’m good,” I said. “How are you doing?”
“I’m okay. Where’s your friend?” she asked further.
I wondered if she wouldn’t suddenly burst into tears and the pang of guilt hit me again. I began to regret ever interfering in her relationship with my friend or encouraging him to break up with her. After all, she had never complained all the while about how he treated her. However, the deed had been done and I wished I could turn back the hands of time and simply mind my business.
“He took the first bus,” I said. “I’m waiting for the next one.”

A couple of minutes later, we sat in a bus on the way to our respective homes. For a while, we were both silent. I stared out through the window wondering what could be going on in her mind. I guess she felt she needed to talk to somebody about what had happened but she totally caught me off guard with the manner she came out.
“Geebee, do you know Sam and I have broken up?” she asked suddenly.
I stuttered for a second. “Really? Wao! He didn’t tell me that” I lied.
She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. We weren’t really going out anyway” she said. Beneath those words, I could feel her pain. She was young and naïve and she truly cared about my friend. I realized I had pushed Sam into making a mistake.
“I’m sorry about that” I said.
She waved me off. “It doesn’t matter” she said again.
We sat in silence again but at a point I felt I was going to explode if I did not say what I had to say. I decided to take the plunge.
“BG” I began. “Hope you won’t be mad at me?”
She obviously did not understand me. “Why?”
I sighed. “I asked Sam to break up with you.”
The look in her eyes scared me for a second. I patiently awaited her reaction.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’S TRIP.

A THOUGHT FOR NIGERIA

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:47:00 +0000

Before I say anything, I need to stress the fact that I am broke! As in, I need money like a plant needs water. On Saturday, I understood what it means to be really broke. I was on my way to Lekki Phase 1 and somehow I made a big mistake of entering a public bus. Well, it wasn’t really a mistake in the true sense of it because I had a choice but somehow in being careful of my financial capability at that time, I decided to do what I had to do. I had an appointment for 12 noon and I ended up arriving at my appointment location at around 1.45pm. Reason: Traffic! It was at this point that I really understood what the recent roadwork around the Lekki roundabout had really caused. Bloggers who live in Lekki and its environs would definitely understand what I am talking about. There’s been a move lately to eliminate the popular Lekki roundabout and this action has indeed caused untold hardship for commuters all over the Lekki axis. It’s been an ordeal and the only option in order not to arrive late for appointments remains taking a motorbike (otherwise known as ‘okada’). The solution sounds pretty easy except for the fact that the exorbitant fares would nearly drive you nuts, especially if you happen to be a ‘little broke’ like I was on that day. I just couldn’t afford to pay N400 from Ajah to Lekki Phase 1 and so for N70, I had to endure the hardship of sitting in a stuffy bus for almost two hours for a journey that ordinarily shouldn’t have taken less than twenty minutes. Tragic!

This post should have been done over two weeks ago in celebration of Nigeria’s independence but I just couldn’t find the time but then the fact that we are still in October makes it just okay to write a post in commemoration of our beloved country’s 49th birthday. I attended a church service on 4th of October that was more or less an ‘independence celebration service’ judging by my pastor’s sermon and other activities that took place in church on that day. In the course of listening to my pastor’s message, I got a further confirmation that indeed Nigeria still has a bright future and the fact that most of us have lost faith in this country hardly helps matters. In his sermon, my pastor explained that Nigeria has indeed got a wonderful future and a simple equation is all the country needs to get on the right track. The much publicized re-branding slogan should be analyzed first. Nigeria as a country in the effort to re-brand its bastardized image touts the new logo: Nigeria; Good People, Great Nation! Indeed! Our beloved country, instead of being congratulated and cheered by the international community has over the past months been ridiculed and attacked by the same international community with strong condemnation of our ‘re-branding exercise’ being an exercise in futility, and unfortunately, I agree with this judgment. Nigeria as a nation needs a total overhaul of its economy and not a foolish re-branding exercise. The so-called re-branding is like ‘wearing new clothes for a child who’s not had a bath in years’. Why not bath the kid first and then put some new clothes on him. My conclusion is Nigeria needs total deliverance.

In his sermon, my pastor explained that the ‘Nigeria; Good People, Great Nation’ catchphrase is an obvious farce at best because no nation can become truly great without the correct leadership. The future of the nation rests largely on the leadership since those in control of the country in a strong way determine what happens in the country. It is pretty easy to conclude that our lives and future as a nation are in the hands of these leaders and their actions go a long way in determining how far our nation would go and our rating in the sphere of things globally. Rather than pose with the unrealistic logo, it is best revised as: ‘Nigeria; Good People, Great Leadership, Great Nation’ for it is only when good people have the right leadership that a great nation could truly emerge. We need to have leaders who truly care about the affairs of the nation and not just themselves and their families. It is common practice in Nigeria today to rejoice whenever a close relative or someone you happen to know gets to a position of power politically. You find Nigerians with relatives who are local government chairmen, commissioners, governors or even local government councilors among other political positions thanking God continually and making statements like “Thank God o! It’s our time to enjoy!” Even devout Christians and Muslims who claim they are not corrupt make these same statements unconsciously. I now find myself wondering what these people mean when they decide it’s time to enjoy. Literarily, this means that your relative who gets to a position of power is there basically to serve JUST YOU and meet ONLY YOUR needs. If he does anything contrary, you begin to heap curses on him and claim ‘he has bitten the fingers that fed him’ especially if you happen to have done one little favour or more for him in the past. How pathetic? How would he meet your extraordinary needs without dipping his fingers into public money? How would your relative or friend perform his sworn responsibilities to the country when he has to think of what you and the rest of his siblings, family members and friends are asking him for?

The average Nigerian has come to totally subscribe to the ‘life is all about me’ policy. We are so individualistically-minded that we do not give a hoot about to others so long as we are okay. No country can move forward with this mentality. This mindset would only bring evil and all that come with evil as well. Leading a nation entails working towards achieving a collective goal or agenda. Every member of a group has individual goals and agendas too but for that group to succeed there is a strong need to place the general and collective agenda above any individual agenda. The moment a leader begins to place his personal agenda (his family’s and friends’ inclusive) above the collective agenda, he has defeated the purpose of the group’s collective agenda and that group cannot succeed. That is the basic problem Nigeria has today. Every one goes up there to represent himself (or herself) and not the country. If only our leaders would have a heart for the people, we would realize all our long awaited dreams and Nigeria will truly become the ‘great nation’ it claims to be. I believe there is a great future for our nation and we can begin to effect the much needed change from this moment. In a spiritual dimension, I was made to understand that the ‘49’ mark is pretty significant especially because it marks the dawn of the year of jubilee which is the 50th year. According to the Holy Bible, in the 50th year, all slaves in Israel are set free and a great feast is declared unto the Lord as a celebration of the dawn of a new generation. The fact that Nigeria is celebrating her 49th year of independence should indeed mark a new beginning for each and every one of us as citizens of this country. We are at the dawn of the year of jubilee and we need to tap into the spiritual significance of this and work towards the realization of all the promises associated with this occurrence.

It is also worthy of note that the salvation of our country doesn’t just rest with a great leadership. It actually begins with us as citizens of this great country. What is our attitude when it has to do with things that pertain to Nigeria? It is so easy to hear statements like “Nigeria is a useless country.” “I hate this country.” “Fuck this country.” “Nigeria can never be better,” etc. Realistic as these statements may sound, it does little to help the nation move forward. In a spiritual dimension, our confessions greatly matter and as such, it greatly helps when we make positive confessions about our lives and our country. We need to begin to believe in our country, Nigeria once again. It is so funny that citizens of Nigeria hardly pay any significant attention to the words of the national anthem and the national pledge. These are perhaps the words with the strongest spiritual significance yet most of us hardly take this fact into cognizance. One secret of the world’s greatest countries is the love of the citizens for their country. If citizens of Nigeria truly love their country, there are so many things that are done today that would not be done. We hear of endless cases of armed robbery, corruption, violence, unaccountability, slothfulness and nonchalance on the part of citizens and the government at all levels towards the affairs of the country and we wonder if there’s any hope for this country. I took time to study the words of the national anthem and the national pledge and realized the power that lies within those words we recite carelessly every day and take for granted. It is such a pity that most of us have even forgotten the words of our national anthem and national pledge. It has gotten so bad that even the young ones who have little or nothing on their minds find it hard to remember these words of commitment. It is hi-time children begin to be taught the need for total devotion to their country from childhood. It is so common to hear Americans say “God bless America!” Nigerians should be able to confidently say “God bless Nigeria!” and mean it in their heart’s deepest recesses. If only we could truly recite the words of the national anthem and pledge with our hearts, the country would indeed progress at a greater speed. Please, take time to digest the words of the national anthem below and see how indeed powerful these words are and how much impact they could make in our lives if only they are genuinely recited. The national anthem reads:

Arise, O compatriots
Nigeria’s call obey
To serve our fatherland
With love and strength and faith
The labour of our heroes past
Shall never be in vain
To serve with heart and might
One nation bound in freedom
Peace and unity

O God of creation
Direct our noble cause
Guide our leaders right
Help our youth the truth to know
In love and honesty to grow
And living just and true
Great lofty heights attain
To build a nation
Where peace and justice shall reign

I would however dwell more on the national pledge. It is necessary to note that whenever we utter the words of the national anthem or the national pledge, we are making a confession that is binding on us and any action that counters our confessions make us despicable in the eyes of our Creator. The national pledge in itself is actually a promise, an oath and any action taken by us contrary to the words we recite in this national pledge makes us unfit to stand before the Lord’s sight because the Almighty God greatly despises lips that speak lies. The words of our national pledge read:

I pledge to Nigeria, my country
To be faithful, loyal and honest
To serve Nigeria with all my strength
To defend her unity
And uphold her honour and glory
So help me God

These are indeed strong words to speak and not honouring these words make us liars and infidels who are not fit to live. As Nigerians, we need to search our hearts and discover in what ways we have not been faithful to our country and address these areas accordingly. Have we been loyal to Nigeria in our words, thoughts and actions? Have we been honest? Do we serve this country with all our strength or partially? Do we pray Nigeria stays united or we prefer the country is divided? Do we actually do things that uphold Nigeria’s honour and prestige internally and among the committee of nations? In reciting the pledge, we have made a vow and we need to keep that vow. The fact remains that if only Nigerians could truly love Nigeria and work towards the progress of the country, Nigeria would not only move forward but would be among the world’s greatest nations in a short while. The ball is in our court. We are the only ones who could decide our future.

GEEBEE’S TRIP WILL CONTINUE IN THE NEXT POST.

You could read the latest episode of GEEBEE’S TRIP here.

EPISODE 20 – ABOUT A GIRL

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:32:00 +0000

I’ve heard a lot of tales on matchmaking and all those ‘I-met-this-girl-or-guy-through-a-friend’ kind of stuff where it borders on relationships and dating. In fact, most people we have dated or are currently dating are people we met through one acquaintance or the other, a sure proof to the ‘no man is an island’ theory. It’s only in rare cases you bump into a total stranger and begin dating after a short while. Come to think of it, even in such cases, one thing or the other usually leads you to meeting that stranger. You probably happened to meet that person in the course of visiting a friend or just strolling casually in a random neighbourhood. As such, I can confidently say that you can never meet anyone just like that. The meeting has to happen through someone or through just anything. In fact, we have a perfect example on blogville. Take a look at Aloted and Writefreak. Now, y’all see what I mean, right? Now, what was the point of all that explanation? I wonder too, lol.

When I saw BG again in April/May 2005, I was somewhat surprised. I did not recognize her immediately. She actually remembered my name and after a little memory awakening, I remembered she was Sam’s girl, the one I had met once some months back.
“Hey, I remember you now,” I said. “Sam’s girl, right? BG or something,” I said half closing my eyes as I tried to recollect her name, more like as a way of compensating for the fact that she could remember mine.
“Yeah, that’s correct,” she said, smiling. “How come you could remember?” she asked teasingly.
I shrugged. “Reflex, I guess,” I said, feeling cool with myself that I passed the ‘name-remembering’ test. “Besides, you could remember mine.”
“Yes. I hardly forget names and faces,” she said further.
“Hmm, really?” I said, impressed. “That’s one problem I seem to have and it always makes me look like one who doesn’t care about people.”
She smiled again. “Nah, it’s not that bad now. People are different. Some have good memory in other stuff besides remembering names.”
I smiled especially because I knew she was right. I was such a person for one.
“So what are you studying here?” I asked.
“They gave me Business Administration,” she said, as though she hated the course. “I think I would have preferred English and Literature.”
I wondered what she had been thinking when she chose Business Administration when she really wanted some other course that was in fact pretty much more comfortable to study.
“It’s a long story,” she said as though reading my thoughts. I suspected she had probably been influenced by her folks or some other people into choosing her course of study, a more professional course as compared to English and Literature.
“So what are you studying?” she asked.
“Economics,” I said proudly. Indeed, I was glad I was studying a respectable course that could only be compared with the likes of Medicine and Law in the sciences and arts respectively. She seemed impressed.
“Ha, you people are the ‘efiwes’ o.”
We chatted a little further until she decided she had to go for a lecture. I had to attend mine too so I did not mind. In fact, during the brief chat, I had wanted to end the discussion a little earlier but she seemed like the talkative type and I did not want to make her look bad by my action so I simply played according to her tune. I was glad the chat was over at last. She had hardly taken a few steps when she turned again.
“Geebee, have you seen Sam today?” she asked.
“No, I’ve not” I said but I’m sure he’ll be around soon. It was about a few minutes to five pm and I was pretty early in school for that time. Usually, most of us came in around 5.30 pm but it was okay for the ‘freshers’ to come in before time. After all, they were the ones that ‘school was still shacking’ unlike those of us who had been around for a little while.

I saw BG again later that day with Sam and we all hung around together. I could easily see that Sam was not really interested in the fact that she was chilling with him and his friends and he did not hesitate to show that with his sulky attitude towards her. On the other hand, BG did not seem to get the message. She laughed and talked freely as though she was hanging out with the best crew on the floor. I understood almost immediately why Sam was a little reluctant in being seen with her. There were a good number of hot new girls around and he would not want any old girlfriend to spoil his new prospects. It was very much understandable. In fact, I would have done the same. However, I did not really like the manner in which Sam was making his discontent so obvious. I felt he could have at least given the girl a little respect at least for his friends’ sake. I was pretty sure my other friend; Simon felt the same way even if he did not make any comment. I was a little glad that BG appeared not to notice anything, or probably she chose to act as though she was not unhappy with Sam’s attitude.

From that day, I saw more and more of BG and at a point, I began to feel a little uncomfortable with how she was always around us. For a second, I began to agree with Sam’s probable thought that she was indeed ‘spoiling our runs’. Usually, most girls would not want to date a guy they had seen some other girl with. However, it was easy to see that BG simply enjoyed our company and felt it was natural to hang out with her ‘boyfriend’ and his friends rather than hang out with other people. Over the next few days, I got to understand that this girl was just a friendly girl with no inhibitions whatsoever as to how the guys she was hanging out with felt about her. She was the ‘nice’ and ‘naïve’ type and somehow even though I never really fancied her type, it was easy to like her. ‘Like’ here had nothing to do with romantic attraction. I simply liked her as a brother would like a younger sister. I kinda liked the innocence and naïveté she exuded but I preferred her as a friend rather than as a girlfriend. Physically, she was petite and cute and averagely beautiful but there were of course much more ‘physically endowed’ girls in the school and day by day, they were being snatched. Some other guys were interested in BG but she hardly gave them a second look probably because she felt she had Sam already and the fact that she was always around us hardly helped matters.

As the days progressed, Sam began to act more weirdly towards BG, sometimes deliberating avoiding her and making very little conversation whenever she was with us. At a point, she began to show signs of pain at her supposed boyfriend’s actions. Sam even went to the extent of flaunting other girls in front of her; an attitude I felt was rather childish. I felt it was not worth it trying to get rid of her by acting that way. I believed he could simply tell her he did not want to be with her and spare her the stress of believing she had a guy, when the guy hardly spoke to her. I decided to give Sam a piece of my mind.
“Guy, why don’t you just tell her you don’t want her and let her go?” I told him times without number. Usually, Sam would sigh as though he was confused on what to do.
“Geebee, I don’t know how to tell her. I would be hurting her by doing that now.”
“But you’re hurting her more by acting the way you act towards her,” I asserted further. “It’s either you change the way you act towards her or just let her go.”
“I’m acting this way so that she’d get angry and leave me alone.” Sam defended.
I sighed. “But it’s obviously not working,” I said. “Some girls are just that way. They don’t ever get the picture no matter how plain you show it. It’s best you let her know you’re not interested in her anymore. You’ll spare her more pain by that.”
I shared my thoughts with Simon too and he seemed to agree with me. I felt I was being too concerned about the situation but I just couldn’t help watching the way Sam was treating BG. I felt she didn’t deserve such treatment. She was just a nice and friendly girl. Sam however continued to hesitate until finally he decided to follow my advice.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’S TRIP

EPISODE 19 - 999 KISSES FOR A SPECIAL WOMAN

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 10:36:00 +0000

Taking a look at the title of this episode, one would wonder why I did not simply imitate Will Smith and make it ‘a thousand kisses.’ I mean, what’s the big deal in adding just one to 999 and making it 1000, a seemingly more perfect number. But I beg to differ. 999 sounds more perfect to me in right now. Aside from the fact that 999 is a hell of a lot sexier than 1000 (don’t you think so too?), I have noticed that lately I’ve fallen in love with a particular set of days. I call them my ‘special triples.’ Think of days like the 6th of June 2006 (06-06-06 0r 666. lol); 7th of July 2007 (07-07-07), 8th of August 2008 (08-08-08) or the similar earlier days in 2001 through 2005 and now, what have we here? The last of the single triple series for at least another one thousand years - 9th of September 2009 (09-09-09 or better still, 999). Hmmm, sounds pretty special, don’t you think? In fact, if only I could be ‘Geebee Almighty’ for just a second, I would be tempted to declare a field day of blessings and great surprises for everyone. Now, that’d be extra cool, wouldn’t it? Before now, I used to call these days ‘jinxed triples’ even up till last year. In fact, I did a post on ‘jinxed triples’ on 08-08-08. There seemed to exist this natural assumption that such days were evil. I think it actually began with 06-06-06 where some sick folks thought doomsday was actually here because of the semblance to the number 666. Come to think of it, today could actually be doomsday. Simply invert 999 and you’ll see. Hoooooo, I’m shaking! I’m shaking! lol.

This episode is actually dedicated to a special woman; one who has perhaps come to mean so much to me and could easily be considered to be my ‘better half’ (not that I totally subscribe to that term though) like they say. I’m dedicating this post to no other but my own girl and babymama, who happens to be a year older today. Yeah, she was born on the 9th of September many years ago, which makes her a 999 celeb. Now, I wonder if this babe is not evil. lol. This woman is not just my number one woman (besides my mum and daughter though. Who says a man cannot have three number one women). She’s the mother of my two-year old daughter, TY and I just thought it would fit so perfectly to continue the series by introducing her into the picture. I would not be using her real name for anonymity sake just like I haven’t been using real names of all characters so you can excuse me for that. However, if you’re so curious to know her real name, you can walk the little extra mile called ‘THE JOURNEY OF FINDING OUT GEEBEE’S WOMAN’S TRUE IDENTITY.’ Funny enough, it’s a somewhat easy journey and some of you guys already know her true identity. Anyways, let’s leave that aside and get on with the real gist. Meanwhile, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABYGURL! You mean more to me everyday and I’m so glad I found you!

By April 2005, I had left my job especially after my experience with the ‘zombies’. Of course my boss was pretty hurt to see me leave but my mind was made up, especially after considering the overall situation. In fact, I left without collecting my full outstanding salary. That had to be paid in two separate installments over a couple of weeks. It didn’t take me too long to get another job, this time in a bigger and much more organized place. It was a cyber café in a more pleasant neighbourhood. The salary was better and much more guaranteed. However, as I came to find out, my new boss was the shrewdest man ever. He was a Masters Degree holder in Economics, my progressing discipline (kinda why he fancied me, I guess) and he had retired after working with the Central bank to begin his own chain of businesses. It was indeed obvious my new boss was a man of means especially considering the fact that he had three offices on the floor and judging by the location of the shopping complex, the spaces were definitely very expensive. The three offices were shared thus: a cybercafe, a photo studio and a bar/restaurant. He had a pretty queer manner in which he ensured that every member of his staff served in all three outlets simultaneously. I was not just a cyber café attendant. I was also a photographer and a bar man! We usually rotated these responsibilities but along the line, I was lucky to be excused from the bar/restaurant services so I was restricted to the cyber café and the studio. It was there I learnt a thing or two on digital photography. From these three outlets, my boss made good money everyday. Our rates were pretty high compared to the ongoing market rate. The location of the business provided the perfect excuse for the higher rates, thus, it wasn’t at all difficult for my boss to maintain a work force of about ten people, myself included. In fact, our monthly salaries put together was a teeny weeny percentage of what he made from his businesses every month. This was a far cry from where I had just left and I was delighted at least for a while.

Mr. Valkyrie (a random name) also knew how to get what he wanted and he never hesitated to talk down anyone who would not do his bidding perfectly. He insulted both his staff and customers alike whenever they crossed his path. No one was at all special in Mr. Valkyrie’s sight and as such, the office always had permanent vacancies, as workers resigned every now and then and some new fella came on, only to resign after a few weeks or at most, a month! Mr. V obviously noticed this trend and thus decided to work on it in his own smart way. He changed the salary payment structure to two separate installments, where he paid half a week before the month end and the other half a week into the new month. That ploy worked so well, since no one would be willing to run away after working an extra week in the new month. Somehow though, I steered clear of my boss’ bad books and we hardly had any confrontations (of course there were a few but compared to most of my colleagues there, I was pretty lucky). The man also believed he was the smartest man alive and he constantly affirmed this to no end.
“Nobody can cheat me,” he would say. “I am too smart for any of you.”
Truly, he was. He had a check on every thing that it was so hard to short change the man. The books were so arranged that every kobo had to be accounted for and whenever there was any shortfall, the staff on duty bore the loss, as Mr. Valkyrie deducted the total amount of shortfall at the end of the month from the fella’s salary. Sometimes, some guy would have shortfall amounting to about half of his salary for the month. Aside from the boss’ attitude, this was the major reason why most of the people who worked there resigned pretty soon. I settled down pretty soon and after studying my work environment for sometime, I realized that Mr. Valkyrie wasn’t really as smart as he claimed or at least, even if he was that smart, he could still be outsmarted and I was that guy who could do that; afterall we were both in the same discipline of Economics. I decided to bid my time.

I had gotten the job during the long break and by that same April, school reopened. I was now in my second year as an Economics student and what made it particularly cool to be in second year was the fact that some new faces would be coming in – the freshers. Hmmm, they looked so cute and for once, I wouldn’t be seeing just the same old faces again. The 100 level students far outnumbered the staylites. Obviously, more people were now interested in the part time University programme after seeing it work successfully for the first year. This time, there were more young people unlike my set where the old jostled for dominion with the young. The new guys were cool and the new girls were a hell of a lot cooler. I allowed my thoughts wander to Lovina and I was indeed glad to be well rid of her. Had she still been in the picture, it would have been pretty difficult to get in the groove with the new blood. Babygurl (BG) was one of the girls of the new blood. She was a fresh student of Business Administration. Actually, that wouldn’t be the first time I was meeting BG but that would be the first time I was seeing her as a student of my school. I had met her almost a year before through a friend of mine, another colleague called Sam. Sam, Simon and I used to hang out a lot and at a point we were like three inseparable kids. We had a fourth guy, Bayla, who was a little older and was hardly around (except for lectures which he often missed too) due to the fact that he worked in a big organization on the island. Sam had introduced me to BG on that fateful day as his friend and we had exchanged pleasantries but I never took any special notice of her. At that time, I had still been deeply engrossed in my affair with Lovina to notice any girl. Like every young guy with a tinge of youthful exuberance, Sam had painted a bad boy picture of himself and how he had girls at his beck and call. In fact, he claimed BG was just one of his many girls and truth was, we always envied him for his collection of babes as he claimed. There really was nothing exceptional about BG though. She was petite and cute in a little way and I never really took any notice of her until I saw her almost a year later in school.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’S TRIP.

EPISODE 18: ALL IN THE NAME OF A ‘JOB’

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 19:21:00 +0000

Hey folks, what’s been up with y’all lately? Trust life’s been pretty good as usual (for some anyway. lol). Well, it’s been awesome over here at my end. Thank God for the weather and for the breath of fresh air. Thank God for his protection and provision for me and everyone that concerns me – family and friends and of course for you guys too. In the last episode, I talked about my ridiculous job and how difficult it became to keep my head up especially after Madam L’s exit. I had to endure the job and its frustrations for a little while until a particular incident finally made me decide it was time to wake up and smell the coffee (some folks would say it was time to ‘give myself brain’ and sure I did).

Now, part of my responsibilities as an office assistant and the sole employee of my employer included going out to deliver our stuff – complimentary cards produced, ID cards and also to collect money from defaulting clients. Now, that was a pretty rare occurrence, especially because we hardly had any serious clients at all! We continued to do the usual outsourcing of those printing jobs we could not handle due to lack of the necessary gadgets. Usually, we had such jobs handled by bigger computer centers far away from the office, all in a bid to reduce the cost to us and give our ‘clients’ the impression that we actually ‘did’ the jobs. Of course we constantly had problems with some of these clients especially because of delays in getting their jobs ready or mistaking up one client’s job for another among other stuff. My boss (his name was Iyke. I even related with him on first name basis) was pretty enterprising in his own little right. He never seemed to bother about the fact that his business was quite small or that he lacked most of the facilities needed to execute the jobs he claimed to do. He did his bit in marketing himself and the business to some big companies and organization and even though most of them hardly gave us any jobs (of course they had bigger computer centers handling their stuff), one or two were willing to give us a try and it was in the cause of recouping our payment from one of these companies that I almost got killed.

Whitehorse Limited was a multinational corporation based in Victoria Island and somehow my boss had been able to get the contract to handle the design and production of new complimentary cards and ID cards for its staff. Whitehorse was into importing and exporting, shipping and general merchandise. The contract was definitely worth some good money and Iyke was grinning from ear to ear. I believe it would have been worth a lot more if only we handled the jobs and did not outsource. However, whatever was coming to us was still fair enough, especially considering the financial resources within the capability of this corporation. I was even beginning to get pretty sure that I would get my full salary for the first time plus all previous outstanding balances. Meanwhile, Iyke hoped to give them the best job ever in order to open more opportunities for bigger contracts in future. I agreed with him. On that fateful day, I was to pick up a cheque at Whitehorse Limited as balance payment for the job we had done. I arrived at the company’s office and I was very much impressed with what I saw. These guys definitely had some good money. I flirted with the idea of asking for a job if ever the opportunity arose while I was there. It would definitely have been pretty cool to be working with Whitehorse Limited even as an errand boy rather than stick with Iyke and his stipends.

There was a residential building right beside Whitehorse Limited’s office and there were three men playing cards at the gate. They were all dressed in army uniform making it pretty obvious that they were soldiers or at least they had some military training. I greeted them as I passed by and they responded well. I proceeded to see the guy I was supposed to meet at Whitehorse and he asked me to hold on while he verified some details. It was as though by ‘hold on’ this guy meant something else as I found myself sitting there for almost an hour. To worsen the situation, the so-called guy was not even in sight. I was just about to go to the office I had seen him enter earlier on when he came out and from the look on his face when he spotted me; it was obvious he had totally forgotten about me.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” he said, his countenance showing he meant what he said. “I just sent someone to get the funds from the Accounts department.”
I was double sure he was lying just to cover up his forgetful ass. I sighed impatiently.
“So how much longer do I have to wait?” I asked, hoping for the worst.
“Twenty minutes. Not a second longer.”
I decided that rather than sit and wait another twenty minutes, I would take a walk outside the premises to while away the time. That proved to be a major mistake. Fifteen minutes later, I had taken my walk and was on my way back to Whitehorse. I wonder what I was thinking when I entered right into the premises the men in uniform had been guarding. The soldiers of course had been so engrossed in their cards that they hardly noticed me go in. The gate had been open all along and I just strolled in, obviously assuming I was in the premises of Whitehorse Limited. I had scarcely gone two yards into the premises when I realized my error. Quickly, I turned back to leave and just as I made my move, I heard someone yell.
“Hey you, what are you doing here?”
A man emerged from inside the building. He was a rather stout man, wearing a boubou and trousers and he looked pretty furious.
“Sorry sir,” I apologized. “I was actually going to the next compound.” As I spoke, I made a move to leave the place immediately.
“Stop there!” the man bellowed and his tone caused a shiver to run down my spine. I could instantly smell the trouble in the air.
“Koko! Dunba! Foli! Where are you idiots?” the man barked.
Immediately, the three uniformed men I had seen outside rushed into the premises, saluting the man. My heart raced furiously.
“Who is this boy? Who is he?” the man in boubou asked; more like screamed.
I began to speak quickly. “I was actually going to . . .”
“Sharrrap!” the man yelled again and before I knew what was happening, something as hard as a rock hit me at the back of my head. It was actually a man’s fist – one of the uniformed men’s. I believe I saw stars at that moment. Before I could recover another cut my legs from under me in a swift low kick and I found myself flat on my chest. The man, who was obviously their boss muttered some words in Hausa or Fulani (I’m not quite sure) and these guys gave me a good beating that took me within metres of Heaven’s gate (at least so I felt). I knew these guys were going to kill me if I did not do something fast and suddenly I began to heave and touch my chest, signaling something to the man in charge. The men continued to kick and flog me with their belts.
“Please, I’m asthmatic! I can’t breathe.” I managed to half scream. That was the only thing that came to mind at that moment. Of course I was not (and have never been) at all asthmatic but I bet anyone would even claim to be dead if need be to escape what these lunatics were doing.
“Let him die! Fool! Barrao bansa!” the man snickered for a second before telling the men to leave me alone. I could hardly move for a good while but I was glad to still be alive. The man retreated into the main house and the soldiers pulled me up and took me outside.
“My friend, sorry o,” one of them said. “Na our oga be that o.”
“Thank God say e no talk say make we kill you sef. We for kill you be that,” another said. That was the soldier who had first used the belt on me.
“Na true o,” the third soldier concurred with his colleagues.
I could not fight back the tears pouring from my eyes. I had never felt so abused, insulted and cheated in my entire life. At that moment, if I had the powers, I would have rained fire from heaven on the ‘bastard’ of a man and his ‘zombie’ soldiers. In fact, it was at that point I truly understood what Fela meant when he called soldiers ‘zombies’. Imagine what the soldier said. They would really have killed me if their boss had asked them to. Painfully, I dusted my clothes. The stupid fools even had the guts to help me in dusting my clothes too. I did not utter a word. I returned to Whitehorse and it took all I had in me not to curse the guy I had met earlier when he told me I would have to come back the next day because the accountant had to check on some details that had not been confirmed. I walked out of the premises and again, the soldiers waved at me, apologizing. I totally ignored them. They could rot in hell for all I cared. I swore by my bruises and rough clothes that they would all get their rewards someday. I proceeded back to my office. As far as I was concerned, that was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. I decided to quit my job.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’S TRIP

EPISODE 17- SURVIVING THE AFTERMATH

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 18:00:00 +0000

Recently, a friend of mine got robbed. ‘Robbed’ as in, accosted on the highway by dare devil armed robbers who had posed as policemen; forced into the bushes along with many others; having their cars and pockets ransacked and all valuables commandeered and the worst scenario was the fact that two of the victims were actually killed. One was a cute lady probably in her early twenties who tried to resist the evil men’s attempt to rape her and the other, a middle aged woman who had attempted to conceal the jewelries she had on her. It was a most pathetic tale and I have tried to imagine my friend’s reaction after it was all over. The usual reaction after escaping a precarious situation is hardly predictable. For some, it’s a sigh, for some, it’s an accelerated heartbeat and for some, it’s just a silent mumble of ‘thank God’ or a wave of happiness flooding through them that the worst has ended. The aftermath of ending my relationship with Lovina remains a vague picture in my mind but I remember I was so glad it was all over even though I found myself wondering once or twice if she wouldn’t come back out of the blue to continue from wherever we had left off. Well, she didn’t . . . at least not directly.

Lectures resumed soon and by February 2005, I was about to celebrate another Valentine’s Day without a girlfriend. I suppressed a chuckle as I imagined if I would have actually had one with Lovina had she still been in the picture. It didn’t seem likely but then who could really tell? I resumed school with a breath of fresh air and bumped into Lovina on a couple of occasions. Her sense of maturity surprised me as she acted as though nothing had happened. Surprising as it seemed, I was glad. I really would never have wanted to make enemies with this woman but still, silent voices in my head told me to continually watch my back just incase she still planned to make me pay for my ‘sins’. On the other side, work was going pretty bad. I had been working for about three months, earning a paltry N 8000 that never seemed to come as at when due. My boss was a young man in his early thirties who had just started a computer center. We did printing jobs, typing, complimentary cards, ID cards and all other stuff you could do with a computer but the funny thing was that most of the jobs we claimed we did were actually outsourced to other computer centers so we really never did most of the jobs except the typing and printing. We even claimed to sell computers too, something that never happened throughout the duration I worked there. I was my boss’s only employee and my duties included minding the office, handling the ‘few’ jobs we ever had. Note the emphasis on few. We hardly made any money and so it was very easy to understand why I couldn’t get my salary as at when due. Usually, my N 8000 was split into four separate installments, making the money worth virtually nothing by the time I got the full payment say two months after. For example, my November salary was paid somehow like this:

31st November – Story . . . no money
7th December – N2000
17th December – N2000
23rd December – N2500
12th January – N1500

Then we would begin to see how we could structure the payment for December through January and part of February and the January payment through March and part of April. It was very pathetic. I couldn’t blame my boss since we hardly made that amount in a month. Keeping me as an employee was actually an added cost to the business but somehow he did not wish to let me go. Truth was, I was really not bothered initially since I still got pocket money from my dad and the extra excess from Madam L but soon I began to realize I was bothered, especially since the ‘money well’ seemed to have dried up since Madam L’s exit. . . and for the first time, I began to miss her. With Lovina, I never lacked and Chief’s money felt like chicken change to me. In fact, I hardly bothered whether he gave me pocket money or not. My phone was constantly recharged by Madam L. At that time, airtime validity was not like what it is today. A N500 recharge card had 5 days validity and stuff like that so your validity increased as you loaded airtime on your phone and for a ‘little boy’ like me, that would have been tough but with Madam L in the picture, I had an excess of 3 months validity in the least. It truly dawned on me that the tap had stopped running and things would no longer be the same. Even my friends noticed I was not as buoyant as I used to be and they asked the most frustrating of questions, most of which I hardly answered. I started to worry about money and my job no longer seemed appealing at all, especially when I almost got killed by soldiers all in the cause of working for a paltry sum of N 8000 that was almost non existent.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’S TRIP

EPISODE 16: DAMNING THE CONSEQUENCES

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 16:29:00 +0000

The last time I dropped a post, just a little over two weeks ago (post came pretty early this time, right? You bet!), aside from doing Episode 15 of Geebee's Trip, I said some stuff about celebration(s) - My birthday, my daughter's birthay and my grandmum's birthday. True, we ha a party on 19th July and mehn, it was banging! It was one whole great reunion. Talk of cousins, aunties, uncles, in-laws, friends and what have you. My grandmum was particularly happy to be celebrating her 70th birthday, after being blessed with 7 children, 23 grandchildren and 1 great-grandchild who happens to be my daughter. Hey, ain't I the bomb! lol. That said, let's do Episode 16: Damning the Consequences.

What were the consequences in question here? Was it actually worth it damning the consequences of resigning from being a yuppie, a 'sugar-son'? Was it easy damning the consequences of leaving a sugar-mummy? You bet it was, especially when the act itself became too close for comfort. That was exactly how it felt for me in January 2005. I had travelled for the 2004 Christmas break and I returned feeling somewhat refreshed, renewed and determined to put a final stop to the affair with Madam Lovina (or Madam L). I seriously doubted if I would be successful in getting her off my back but I resolved to take the action nonetheless and I did. How did I? Funny enough, I did not right away actually tell this mother-of-five off face to face. Truth was, I had no balls to. I rehearsed a million and one times on how I would face her and tell her it was over but when the real test came, I failed like hell. Finally I took the coward's way out - UNAVAILABILITY. I began to avoid her like a plague and this time, I allowed it go as far as it could. I deliberately avoided her calls and refused to go see her. Much to my chagrin, she finally checked on me in my workplace (I had gotten a job as an Office Assistant at a Computer Center before the Christmas break to ease the boredom of staying idle during the daytime).
"Geebee, I knew I would find you here at least." the woman had begun on sighting me as she stepped out of her car. I was outside the office as I had just returned from lunch break and seeing her was the last thing I had expected.
"Lovina, what are you doing here?" I began, surprised at the anger in my tone. "You know I don't appreciate you coming to my workplace."
"Why have you been avoiding me, Geebee?" she lashed at me angrily.
"I haven't been avoiding you." I defended. "Please, let's discuss this later. My boss is around and . . ."
"And what?" she barked. "How much does he pay you? Eight thousand naira? I give you much more than that in a week. Let him come out and let me talk sense into his head."
I was beginning to get very uncomfortable and I looked around repeatedly to make sure no one was watching. This woman was becoming hysterical and I knew I needed to get her out of that vicinity or risk her embarassing my boss. She was the kind of woman who could easily do that. She was right. I was being paid N8000 but I was not working because of the money. I had to do something to occupy my self during the day since I had lectures only in the evenings and I had taken the job three months before despite Lovina's pleas for me not to work.
"Okay, I promise we would see and talk this evening." I said finally, praying she would see that as a reasonable offer and leave. I looked at her pleadingly.
"It's a lie." she snapped. "You have been avoiding me and . . ."
She ranted on but I was finally able to convince her to leave after repeatedly promising her that I would see her after closing from work by 4pm. My school was yet to resume for the new session so we had the time to talk. That evening, we met at our usual hangout and I summoned the courage to tell Lovina that we had to quit the relationship.
"Why?" she asked stubbornly. "We have been over this before Geebee and I told you there was no problem."
"We can't," I pleaded. "This is wrong. You have a husband and children and I am beginning to feel guilty about all this."
"Did you just start feeling guilty?" she asked mockingly.
"No. I have been feeling guilty from day one." I said pointedly. I was determined to end the whole thing once and for all.
She sighed. "You would have to give me some time to think about this." she said finally. "We can't just stop like that."
"No Lovina. We have to stop. I'm sorry."
To my greatest surprise, she began to cry and I was moved to tears as well. It was so odd to imagine that this woman loved me that much, enough to cry because I was leaving her. It hurt me to end it all as well but I knew I had to end it before things got too crazy. In fact, it was already crazy enough as it was. Over the course of time we had an affair, Lovina proved to be more than a friend and a lover. She lavished me with gifts, time, money and just so much. I could not begin to estimate how much she had given me but it was sure worth a fortune. The goodwill did not end with me alone. It extended to my friends, Simon, Sam, Bayla and all who associated with me at the time. She even met my younger brother when he came home for the break. It was so easy for people to know there was something going on between me and this woman, but I continually denied it. We were indeed very close. I drove her cars, I visited her home. Her kids loved me like an elder brother and the older ones saw me as a close friend not just to their mum but as their own friend. Her husband liked me a lot as well, often calling me his wife's son. In fact, I settled a quarrel between him and his wife on about two occassions. I had so many reasons why I could not continue to sleep with this woman. The guilt was bound to kill me sooner or later and I could not understand why Lovina did not feel thesame way. Weighing both sides, the losses to me sure outweighed the gains and so I took the plunge and damned the consequences.
"Please, just understand." I said still comforting her. "We would still be friends."
She did not say anything further. She simply got up, picked up her bag and left. As I heard her car zoom off, I silently prayed she would leave things the way I said. However, I decided it would hurt more if I totally ignored this woman. It was best if I kept the friendship alive, especially for the sake of her family members, people I had come to be very close to. I resolved to keep the friendship going, howbeit as careful as possible. This time, there was no doubt in my mind that it would work.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE'S TRIP.

EPISODE 15: TIME'S FLIGHT

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:21:00 +0000

Hey folks. How's it been with y'all? I'm tempted to ask for forgiveness once again but then if I do, it's gonna sound like the new norm. I'm definitely tired of always asking for forgiveness for not been able to keep my word like the Fidelity Bank ad would say. "We're Fidelity, we keep our word." Now, I've got nothing against that bank but you gotta trust me, they don't keep 'all' their words. For example, what about the promises of notifying their clients when they have to make interest rate cuts on savings accounts and stuff? Now, would you blame me if I say I'm gonna update in a week and have to hang on for like three weeks? (True, it's hard to imagine it's been three weeks already!) Time sure flies. I'm dedicating this episode to three special people and in fact, the title of this episode was inspired by these trio.

Number one person is my grandmother who turned 70 on July 9. This woman remains perhaps one of the most amazing people I've ever known. Madam Margaret Ibrahim remains the world's most super mum, grand-mum and great-grand-mum. Happy birthday (in arrears) Grandma! Next on the line is me, Oluwagbemiga 'Geebee' 'Geebaba' 'Geebama' Olowosile. I would be turning 24 tomorrow, July 18. (Now you see why I just had to update.) Why not shout on blogsville that the Almighty God has spared my life yet once again to see another year added to this incredible life of mine. Thank you Baba God! Hope y'all rejoice with me. Finally, I'm also dedicating this episode to the angel of my life (one of the angels actually; perhaps the most special though), my daughter, Oluwatoyosi 'T.Y' Olowosile, who's gonna turn 2 on Monday, July 20 (She missed coming on my birthday by hair's breadth. Arrrrgh! lol). Sometimes it beats me to think that that little baby who was born in what seems like yesterday is a beautiful, bubbling, little girl who gives me tingles and makes me wanna shout 'BRRRRHRRHHHH' whenever I take a look at her. Truly, God has been faithful and I can't thank him enough. Meanwhile we're having a big party on Sunday, 19th July. It's a triple celebration and y'all are invited. There's even 'aso-ebi' so order your copy NOW! . . .

(Update: The party was banging! Check out more photos on my facebook page (There's a link on your right).

TIME'S FLIGHT. What do I actually mean by this? It's certainly a fact that the world's fastest bird is no longer the eagle or whatever. It is 'time'. With the way time flies these days, you find yourself wondering how all of a sudden, things that happened ages ago feel like they happened just minutes ago. Yesterday, you're just a little guy peeing in his pants and today you're a young man taking responsibility for one thing or the other. Yesterday, you were that little girl crying over burst balloons and today you're an old woman looking at your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, hoping that God would give you some extra more years. He grants this and it all happens so fast that you ask him for a couple extra more and so on. Time sure does fly. Look at this year for instance. It seems like it was just yesterday that we said Happy 2009 and now in a flash, the end of the year is actually closer than the beginning. Time flies.

In a separate dimension, time flies when the things that seemed like fun suddenly feel like a much hated chore you can't wait to end. There is a time for everything and nothing lasts forever and no matter how perfect a time seems, it always has to end somehow. By December 2004, the affair with Madam L had gotten to that point. In the space of four months, I had attained the much desired height of freedom. My first night out of my father's house all now seemed so distant that I hardly remembered that I was that guy who had been so scared to spend the night out against my dad's command. Anyways, digressing a little to that night for those who were soooo interested in what happened with Chief (Uzezi, StandTall and co.), the old man did not utter a word much to my greatest surprise. In fact, that marked the beginning of my freedom. Soon, we moved house as my dad completed his house; a waterfront a good distance away, thus granting me the perfect excuse to spend more nights out with the excuse that coming home after late lectures was stressful. I spent more nights out in the pretext of crashing at my friend, Simon's place whereas I was right with Lovina in a secluded hotel. It was so much fun for a while but at a point, it began to get pretty boring. All the while, my friends, especially Simon had begun to suspect something was going on with this older woman, an assumption I denied times without number. Till date, I still insist to them that I never had an affair with Madam L even though I know they don't believe me. Rumours flew here and there in school and even the few girls I had a thing or two for began to ask weird questions. At a point, I heard one or two lecturers were asking questions about me and that was where I knew I had to draw the line. However, there seemed one big problem. Madam L was not willing to let me go and she made this point crystal clear. All of a sudden, it dawned on me that I was trapped. The semester ended and I spent the long holiday preparing to resume a second year in University while making plans to end things with this woman for good. However, deep down in me, I doubted if those plans would ever work.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE'S TRIP

EPISODE 14 - FALLING . . . AND RISING . . . AND FALLING . . .

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 12:24:00 +0000

Hey people, what can I say? Been a while? For some funny reason, I can hardly believe it's been exactly two months since I dropped my last post. Beats me too. I have been wondering about what happened myself? Did I get hit by a 'brain flu' (hmmm, with bird flu, swine flu and stuff, brain flu is definitely a future possibility) that made me unable to use my head to think and write? Or did I simply disappear into my own private world ( a world I call Geebama Island, just north of Hawaii)? Or did blogging just become so boring that I had to hold off for a good while? The questions are endless and there's just one answer to all. NO! There really is no answer but this period just proved something to me. You sometimes find yourself in some situations where things you do naturally suddenly become stuff that's hard to be done. Anyways, make we leave matter for Matthias. What matters to me right now is that I'm back and oh Lordy, it feels so good. Feels like actually being in Hawaii. lol. I should also not forget to thank you folks that checked on me all the while. Names need not be mentioned but trust me, you guys made me feel somewhat special and a paticular 'Anonymous' person just happened to become a p...p...p ... ok, stalker during this period (i was actually going to say 'pest') dropping thesame lines over and over just to prove some point, i suppose. Well, all that said, let's resume with Geebee's Trip. Men, I would probably have done like six episodes within these two months and been on Episode 20 instead of Episode 14 - FALLING . . . RISING . . . AND FALLING . . .

The saying goes . . . It is not how many times a man falls that count but how many times he rises again after falling. How true? I have heard these lines over and over again, especially in church, as most of us tend to console ourselves after doing one bad thing or the other. Yes indeed, the good thing about falling is having the fortitude to rise again but what do we say in a situation when a man keeps falling and rising and falling . . . and so on, so much that it becomes a habit. Some would say it really does not matter so long as you always rise whenever you fall. This is exactly the scenario that began after Lovina's phone call on that fateful day. (Revisit Episode 13 to refresh your memory).

Lovina's voice came on air again, a tone of worry and impatience firmly ingrained in it. "Geebee, are you there?
I sighed. "Yes I am here?"
"What is the matter now? You sound strange," she said.
I fought hard to maintain my composure. It was almost as if the woman on the other end could see me physically. I wanted to tell this woman that I regretted everything that had happened between us and I would no longer be a part of such an evil act but the words seemed destined never to proceed beyond my throat.
"I'm alright, Lovina." I found myself saying much to my chagrin. It was as if I no longer owned myself, as though I was being controlled by a strange force. These days, when I loook back, I believe I was so naïve and much as I hated to admit, my age always got in the way back then. I could hardly get past the feeling that I was just nineteen years old and there was a limit to which I could maintain my stand on that issue, especially because it concerned a woman far more advanced in age, experience and resources. I wonder if I actually feared this woman but I believe even if I did not show a physical fear, there was an inward fear lurking on my inside – a fear of what would happen if I let out my thoughts, a fear of what I would lose if I let this woman go, a fear of what this woman could do to me. Of a truth, there was nothing at all scary or dreadful about her but my immature mind back then presented pictures that were not necessarily true about the situation.
“So can we see?” Lovina asked?
I sighed again. “Yes.”
“Okay, meet me at Mr. Biggs by 6 o’clock,” she said, and I could practically sense the joy in her words. She really wished to see me. I felt a sense of accomplishment in the thought. I was wanted by a woman, not some school girl or age grade chic - a woman!

Lovina and I spent that night in a hotel. She had made a good cover up story to her husband and family that she would be going to a relative’s place somewhere on the farther part of Lagos. Right in my presence, she called the supposed relative and filled her on the plan just in case her husband called to verify the story. I watched this woman in awe and could hardly believe I was falling so deep into this abyss and yet could do absolutely nothing about it. I still wonder where on earth I found the courage to call my Dad and tell him that I would not be coming home that night.
“What? Where are you?” Chief barked from his end of the phone.
“Daddy, I have to submit an important assignment in school tomorrow. It’s a group assignment so I would be spending the night in my friend’s place so we can work overnight.”
“No, no. You must come home,” my old man said in his usual commanding tone. “You can go and continue tomorrow.”
“But daddy, I . . .” I began but I heard a click in the receiver. Chief had ended the call. As far as he was concerned, he had spoken and that was final. I was furious. I turned to stare at Lovina and found out that she had been staring at me as well in expectation.
“What did your father say?” she asked me, as though she had not been there all the while I was on the phone with my dad.
“He said I must come home,”
“So what will you do now?” she asked.

I sat there for a minute saying nothing. It was about 10.30 pm and we were already booked into the hotel room. I knew I could still go home if I wanted to and that would really have been the perferct reason for me to avoid being with this Lovina that night. In fact, it was the right thing to do. However, the rebel in me took over. I was indeed tired of being treated like a kid by my dad and step mum. I had always been looking for a way out and even though I dreaded my father, I wanted to defy his authority for once. The thought of what he would do if I did not go home that night to me sent shivers through my spine but I decided I would not go home that night. I looked at my phone and pressed the power button to turn the phone off.
“So what are you going to do?” Lovina asked one more time.
I looked at her and the thoughts of the things that were going to happen that night flooded my brain. I had never slept outside my father’s house before and this was definitely an adventure I was not ready to miss. Chief and his wife could rant all they cared. Tomorrow would take care of itself, I decided. That night marked the beginning of my much longed-for freedom from the bondage of my dad and step mum. Meanwhile, I continued to enjoy my new-found bondage, patiently wondering when I would get out. At nineteen, I felt life couldn’t have been better.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’S TRIP.

EPISODE 13 - THE SUGAR MUMMY SYNDROME

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 15:31:00 +0000

WARNING- EXPLICIT CONTENT! FOR MATURE (IN AGE AND MIND) AUDIENCE ONLY!

It feels good to be back again with ‘Geebee’s Trip.’ I had to hold back for a while due to the fact that I’ve been writing examinations. Somehow, being in final year does not sound as easy as it seems. Pardon me, does not seem as easy as it sounds. Now, that’s better. We definitely wouldn’t want a final year Economics student making grammatical blunders all over the place, would we? Well, I’m still yet to conclude the exams but the worst part of it is definitely over. I wouldn’t want to go into the messy details now but trust your boy, it’s not been funny. Anyone who passed through the fore walls of a University and graduated (regardless of whether it’s a 2-2 or 3rd class or whatever) needs to be given a thumbs up and an applause. Let’s hear it for the University graduates now . . . . . . . . . Thank You! Oh, you think it’s easy? Go and ask drop-outs like 9ice and 2Face and they’ll tell you it’s not easy. Lol. (Imagine me talking about 9ice and 2baba. Dem go pay my Professors and even V.C salary altogether sef!) So let’s talk business. Welcome to Episode 13 of Geebee’s Trip: THE SUGAR MUMMY SYNDROME.

What exactly is a syndrome? Could someone help me please? English language gurus, where y’all at? I don’t have a dictionary handy but I know what it means in my head sha. Lol. Better still, I’ll explain using synonymous words provided by MS Word. ‘Syndrome’ could be equated with words like ‘disorder’, ‘condition’, ‘pattern’, ‘disease’ etcetera etcetera. Now, you know what I mean when I use the term ‘The Sugar Mummy Syndrome.’ Question 2. Who is a sugar mummy? I might not readily know how to define a ‘sugar mummy’ but I definitely know that a sugar mummy is none of these:
- A sugar mummy is not a mother who sells sugar or emanates sugar from wherever
- A sugar mummy is not an Egyptian corpse that tastes like sugar.

In the last episode, I talked about my adventure in Madam L’s (sorry she asked me not to call her that, remember), I mean Lovina’s place and how I had to hold her in my arms ‘against my wish’ when she broke into tears. What happened next definitely was beyond our control and right there, I made love to a self-professed twenty-nine year old mother of five who looked old enough to be my mother. We were both carried away in the frenzy and excitement that before I could spell the words L-O-V-I-N-A, we were kissing and caressing each other wildly and struggling with each other’s clothes at the same time. My initial assessment proved right. She actually wore nothing beneath the gown and on entry; I found her wet and throbbing. We made passionate love right on the plush settee in the living room of her matrimonial home and it took great effort to silence the almost audible voices that were screaming ‘Don’t! Don’t!” in my head. I think the voices actually stopped when the session ended. At that point, a deep pang of guilt hit me so badly that I could feel hot tears trying to force their way out. “Jesus! What have you done?” a silent voice in my head said. “I don’t know,” I replied to myself. I got up and reached for my clothes. I could hardly bear to look at the woman lying naked right next to me. It was so easy to be shy at that moment. I felt like a teenage girl who had just lost her virginity.
“Geebee, won’t you have a shower?” Lovina asked and I managed to look down at her. She smiled at me and I wondered if I was the first guy she was ‘doing’ after her husband. In fact, so many questions ran through my head at that moment. I tried to find a look of guilt on her face at that moment as though the guilty look on her face would subside the pain I felt in my heart. Her face was unreadable.
I managed to find my way to the guest bathroom where I sat on the toilet seat for a good ten minutes pondering over what had transpired moments before. I wondered if I would ever be able to forgive myself. Hot tears stung my cheeks and I wished I had the powers to reverse what had happened. Finally, a knock on the door shook me out of my mind trip.
“Geebee, are you alright?” her voice said from outside the door.
“Hmmm, yea . . . yeah.” I managed in a stutter. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

Minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom looking fresh and clean as though nothing had happened. She had freshened up as well and changed into new clothes. She took my hand and muttered an almost inaudible ‘thank you.’ I wondered what the ‘thank you’ meant. For the sex or for what? I was confused but I decided I was never going to let this woman see the anger I felt. I was never going to allow her see me as a little boy how was sorry he had stolen a piece of meat from his mummy’s pot. I returned to the living room and told her I would like to leave.
“So soon,” she said disappointedly. “My kids would soon be around. I would love them to meet you.”
What! I muttered silently to myself. Meet her kids? And tell them what? “Hey kids, how are you doing? I just f***kd your mum and I feel sorry about it, okay”
“I really should be leaving now, Mada . . . I mean Lovina. I guess I’ll see them some other time.”
She shrugged. “Okay then, no problem. Let me get you something.”
I knew what she had in mind and instantly, I refused. “No please, don’t bother. I’m fine.”
“No way,” she insisted, heading in quick steps towards her room.
I decided I was not going to allow myself be like one who was being paid for ‘his services’ so I made my way to the front door hurriedly calling out to her that I was gone. As I opened the door, I almost bumped into three little kids. I stared on in horror as I realized these were indeed Madam L’s kids. The oldest of them could not have been more than seven. I stood rooted to the spot for a second.
“How are you doing?” I finally said with a smile.
“Fine” the youngest said. She seemed about three. “Who are you, uncle? Are you my mummy’s friend?”
“Yes, I’m your mummy’s friend.” I said, cursing myself under my breath. “What’s your name?”
“Daniella,” she replied in a sharp voice. “I am three years old.”
I instantly loved this little girl. The older ones, a boy and girl looked at me curiously and I wondered what was going on in their little heads.
“Well, I’m Uncle Geebee. I . . .”
I stopped as Lovina showed up at the door.
“Oh, you kids are back. Joy, Charles, Daniella, this is Uncle Geebee. He is my teacher and he is in my school.”
Daniella took to me instantly, pleading with me not to leave yet. I ended up spending another one hour at their place before leaving. Even the older ones, six year old Charles and seven year old Joy were happy to have a new older friend. The other kids were away at a boarding house secondary school. I left the house finally but not after Lovina had forcefully pushed some notes into my hand to use for my ‘transport’. I realized later that it was three thousand naira.

As I rode home, I reminisced over all that had happened all over again and the thought of her kids further sent fresh pangs of guilt through me. I decided right then that I would end all manner of association with Lovina. I prayed like never before that night especially since I had never ever felt so guilty in my entire life. Over the next two days, I gradually felt better. I refused to go to school and turned off my phone just to avoid this woman and to an extent it worked. I had almost forgotten about her until the evening of the third day when I managed to turn on my phone. Almost instantly, my phone rang. It was Madam L. Reluctantly I picked up the call.
“Hello,” I said.
“Geebee, how now? You did not even call me. Your phone has been off.”
“Sorry,” I said pointedly.
“I want to see you o.” she said.
I sighed for a minute. Somehow it was so difficult to say no. I realized my next response would determine a lot of things and I had to be careful about my next statement.
“Hello. Geebee, are you there?” the voice from the other end said impatiently . . .

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’S TRIP

HONEST SCRAP AWARD/25 ISSUES I HAVE/GOING AWOL

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:15:00 +0000

THIS IS A MORE UPDATED VERSION OF THIS POST

I’ve been AWOL for about two weeks now and I have a strong reason for this. What do you think Olu Falae, Buhari, Obanikoro, Atiku, Al Gore, John Kerry, McCain, and a host of others did when they discovered they lost in their various elections? They disappeared, probably to cool off and count their losses. Then they reappeared sometime later after the dust had somehow settled. Yes I disappeared o and I have finally reappeared. Hope the dust of the naijabloggersawards had finally settled. . . . Now don’t take me seriously. That was a joke. I never knew what it felt like to suddenly go AWOL until recently. I’ve been bugged down with a high dose of academic stress. Hope y’all didn’t forget that ‘yours sincerely’ is still a humble final year student of Economics. I started my first semester exams last week and I must honestly confess I never knew final year was perhaps the toughest of all school years. Somehow, my exam timetable is pretty annoying. My eight courses were spread in such a manner that I would still have papers to write by May! It hurts and it definitely sucks. Now that’s not all. My project supervisor just gave me the worst headache by rephrasing a simple project topic to something else. Of the three topics I sent, he selected one – THE IMPACT OF THE OIL SECTOR ON THE NIGERIAN ECONOMY AND LINKAGE EFFECTS ON OTHER SECTORS BETWEEN 1988 AND 2008. That was mine and here’s what my supervisor rephrased: AN ECONOMETRIC ANALYSIS OF CRUDE OIL PRICE VOLATILITY AND EXCHANGE RATE STABILITY IN NIGERIA BETWEEN 1970 AND 2008. Now, how in hell am I supposed to do a project on this? I’ve been searching for materials like crazy and at a point I had to plead for a review of the topic and I’m still waiting for the stubborn man to respond. Now, you see why I had to chill out for a while. Meanwhile, I need your help o. Blogville citizens are definitely smart chaps so if ANY OF YOU have related materials, advice and stuff that could be helpful, forward straight away. No doubt, you’ll get a full acknowledgement in my final project draft. Thank you!

Now, lest I forget, did you notice that logo at the top of this post? Of course you did. That’s my CONSOLATION for losing out in all THREE categories of NBA in which I was nominated. Damn! Well, my wounds were definitely healed even before I got wounded. I was recently awarded the HONEST SCRAP AWARD by StandTall, The Activist. She considers my blog BRILLIANT IN CONTENT AND DESIGN. Hmmm, how come NBA peeps couldn’t see that? We will meet at the Bloggers Petition Tribunal. lol. Thanks a lot, StandTall. You wouldn’t know how much this award means to me. Well, there are conditions for accepting this award and they are:

1. You must brag about it (I’ve already done that!)
2. You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back that blogger (It’s StandTall o!)
3. You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design OR improvise by including bloggers who have no idea who you are because you don’t have seven friends. Now, that’s funny.
4. Show the seven random victims’ names and links and leave a harassing comment informing them that they have been prized with a Honest Weblog. There’s no prize but you get to keep the cute nifty icon (I’m treasuring mine like hell!)
5. List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!

Hold on a sec. Before I begin, I should also note that I’ve got two tags waiting. I got one from simeone ages ago – 25 ISSUES I HAVE and another one from Spicytee. She wants me to answer some weird questions and making sure all my answers begin with the first letter in my name, that’s ‘G’. In order for us not to stay on this post forever, I would have to defer this one till a later date (but I’ll definitely do it! It looks too cool to ignore). Now, I have observed that the HONEST SCRAP MEME and the 25 ISSUES I HAVE MEME are very much alike so I’ll just combine them and say 25 HONEST THINGS ABOUT ME. Hope it’s allowed. Whatever, sue me! lol.

25 HONEST THINGS ABOUT ME/ISSUES I HAVE

1. I am 6 ft 2 and weigh 70kg. I have tried to gain weight by all means but it just never seems to happen. Girls I’ve dated seem to like me the way I am but I must put on this ‘flesh’ by force o.

2. I am so opinionated that anyone with a contrary opinion automatically becomes my enemy. It’s stupid but I can hardly help it.

3. I pierced my left ear at twenty and had an ear injury that spanned months. Thankfully, it healed and I got to wear eye-catching studs and ice. I stopped wearing earrings like a year later and the ear hole has since closed. Sometimes I feel tempted to reopen it though. I’m still considering.

4. I got my girlfriend pregnant and had a daughter two days after my twenty second birthday. Looking back, I am so glad it happened even though I almost attempted suicide initially.

5. I love kids to a fault. I could even roll on the ground with them. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why God decided to give me a child early.

6. I am a workaholic and a perfectionist. I never put my hands into something if I have the slightest doubt about not making a success out of it and I can’t tolerate failure.

7. I once cried my eyes out when I came third for the first time in my life in Primary 3. That was the only time it ever happened. I came second twice and the remainder . . . you know now. lol

8. I have always had a passion for writing ever since I was a kid and sometimes I wonder if I’m not fooling myself by studying Economics. Well, I might not even use the degree after all.

9. I cannot play a single musical instrument and I hate that fact. I can’t even drum! I plan on learning the keyboard and the guitar soon though.

10. I am a naturally-gifted teacher. I love teaching people and making them understand and whenever I teach someone and the person does not understand, I automatically assume such a person cannot understand that stuff ever.

11. I almost drowned in Bar beach in Victoria Island, Lagos in Christmas of 1992, aged seven. My dad still believes I might have a wife in the ocean. Can you beat that?

12. I don’t like ‘toasting’ women. I prefer it when they come after me. It seems to give me an alibi to run whenever I want to since I didn’t pop the question. Naughty? I know. May God help us.

13. I can hardly sleep beyond eight hours. My body system seems programmed to this.

14. I cannot do the ‘night jacking.’ If I ever have to read overnight, trust me you’ll see a confused guy in the morning.

15. I once caught my younger brother in a brothel but couldn’t challenge him since I had come there for the same purpose. We became very close after then.

16. I have a phobia for death and I get scared of dying sometimes. I really want to leave a strong mark before I leave this world. So far, I haven’t.

17. I am very ambitious. I want to be so many things in future- Bestselling Author, Motivational Speaker, CBN Governor, Economic Consultant to the World Bank, President of Nigeria, Secretary-General of UNO etc. I crave for fame and fortune very much.

18. I am addicted to mobile phone games like being addicted to drugs. I could tap my phone's keys for twenty four hours straight if given the chance and that's why I constantly have low phone batteries.

19. Having a daughter has made me more mature about life. There is a great deal of contrast between my life now and my life barely three years ago.

20. I was born in Liverpool, U.K and spent six months there before returning to Nigeria with my parents. Ever since, I’ve not gone back and I sometimes wonder if I was actually born there. The British Embassy has not even helped matters. They have denied me a British Passport and Visa so many times that I am not even interested in going to the U.K anymore.

21. My parents separated when I was nine and I try to convince myself that their break-up has not affected or influenced me but something inside tells me it has.

22. I am daring and adventurous. I think unimaginable and ridiculous stuff and sometimes I actually do them only to regret badly later on.

23. I find it so hard to pretend in order to please people. Whenever I try it, I hate myself.

24. I like being with like-minded people. I find it easy to get bored with people who seem not to add any value to my life.

25. I have a dream to live till ninety and die peacefully in my sleep after a good meal.

So that’s me: all live and naked. I still have my boxers on though. Of course, there’s more about me but that would mean stripping off my last piece of clothing. Now, you don’t want that, do you? lol. I’m passing this award to:

1. Femi B
2. Spicytee
3. Simeone
4. Bumight(I'd be surprised if she doesn't already have like ten of these. lol)
5. Uzezi
6. Qmoney
7. Writefreak

Meanwhile, on the ‘25 ISSUES I HAVE’ TAG, I am tagging the following bloggers:

1. Aloted
2. Beauty (I'm not sure he would do this but maybe he would)
3. Bibi
4. Olufunke

Thanks for your time. GEEBEE’S TRIP WILL CONTINUE IN THE NEXT POST.

PS- Please, don't forget about my project o. Advice, materials etc. are very welcome. Afterall, blogville is a family. No be so? Thanks

EPISODE 12 - TAKING THE PLUNGE

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 19:17:00 +0000

Before I begin, I would like to make an announcement. The winners of Category A of the Naija Bloggers Award have been finally announced (Yes I know you knew. I just had to affirm it) and guess what? Geebee . . . DID NOT WIN. Arrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhh! Bumight got the award for BEST STUDENT BLOGGER, thereby showing that all my 'polongo' and campaigning was in vain. Oh it hurts real bad and I'm looking for bumight o. Let her run as fast as her legs can carry her . . .lol. Seriously now, bumight is a household name in blogsville and I almost knew she was going to clinch that one right from the start and I must say being nominated in thesame category with bumight was indeed a great honour for me. Congrats again, Sis (sniffs and sobs)and congrats to all winners as well and thumbs up to Sting, JustToluwa and the rest of the crew of Naijabloggersawards. You guys are just super! Well, well, like they say, there's always medicine for pain and I got mine quite well. Geebee was nominated yet again in category B and in TWO categories . . . EPISTLE BLOGGER (i.e. blogger who writes long posts. Do I?) and FAVOURITE NEWBIE BLOGGER (Hmmm, I was actually tipping and backing Enkay up for that one. It's all good sha). I know these are categories under the 'weird' and 'funny' acronym but I DON'T CARE! I must win this time or nobody will sleep again on blogsville o. I must win o and I'm sure bumight will gladly compensate me by pushing buttons on this one. I can see her nodding her head in fact. Sis, how's the e-pregnancy going? I'm up against your e-babydad, Doug in one category so how we go do am now? Wao, one would think I was campaigning for President or hustling to win at the Grammys. Yes o. It's that serious. Afterall, people I look up to like Fineboy Agbero and Vera did worse 'vexed' campaigns and won so why not Geebee. Anyways, please (Okay I dey beg now o) go and vote for Geebee and your other favourite bloggers by clicking HERE Thank you.

Now that I'm sure you guys are screaming 'Geebee for President (sorry I meant . . . ), let's do Episode 12 - Taking the Plunge. Welcome on board.

Madam L's one thousand naira went a long way. I was quite thrilled by the fact that this woman gave me that much on first contact and I was sure there was a lot more where that came from. This was in 2004, remember. It wasn't as if Chief never gave me enough money. In fact, he did but he never ever gave me one thousand naira for a transport fare that would take fifty naira or less back then. The next day, I was at Madam L's doorstep at a minute to ten and getting the location proved quite easy. I had to behold Madam L's abode from outside for a while before venturing in and I could hardly hide my admiration at this wonderful edifice. It was indeed a magnificient building. The interior of the building made the exterior look like a pauper's deal. I could practically taste the money. From the leather settees, the LCD screen (quite uncommon in 2004), the mini bar, the accessories etc, I could visualize the 'good life' in its entirety. Of course I was not from a poor home. My dad was quite very comfortable by normal standards but I had to admit this was a lot better.
"Geebee,how are you?" my new student said, beaming with smiles. Suddenly she looked so beautiful and for a minute I forgot she was the forty-something-year-old-looking-twenty-nine-year-old.
"I'm . . . I'm okay" I managed to say and wondered why I was suddenly stuttering.
"What should I offer you?" she asked as she walked towards the giant refridgerator at the passage. I noticed her backside and observed that she did not seem to be wearing any thing underneath the gown to protect that region. A shiver ran through my spine and I found it pretty difficult to breathe. A little time must have passed as her full figure filled my view and jolted me back to reality as I realised she was right in front of me bending to serve the juice she had brought into a glass.
"Are you okay, Geebee?" she asked concernedly and I felt instantly ashamed that I was making such a fool of myself. What the hell was I thinking? I wondered angrily.
"I'm okay, Madam L," I said, managing a smile.
"Okay o." she said as she took a seat on one of the leather seats nearby. Her perfume filled the air and I felt like choking. Somehow, the scent was not too pleasant to my nostrils. I began to sip my juice, trying to compose myself in the best way I could.
We were silent for a good while and it was frustrating. I was out of words and she did not seem to be helping matters by keeping quiet and seating so close by. I constantly assured myself that I couldn't possibly be interested in this woman. One, she was older than me by far. Two, she was married. Three, she had kids. Four, my dad would kill me if he ever got wind of me doing any thing stupid with a married woman. Five, it was plain stupid to even think of doing such . . . the list in my head was endless . . . but the silence was killing and someone had to break this damned ice. I summoned up the courage.
"So how's the family ma?" I asked casually
I noticed the slight frown on her face again and I was sure right then she did not like the 'ma' word. She proved it almost immediately.
"Geebee, first thing. I don't like you calling me 'ma'. We're both students, remember. My name is Lovina. Call me Lovina."
"But everyone calls you madam L," I challenged playfully.
"I know but you can call me Lovina or anything but don't use 'ma' for me."
"Okay, no problem." I concurred.
Within a few minutes, I had totally forgotten I was there to put her through on her weak courses. She did not seem to remember either. I felt more relaxed and on her probing, I took some liquor. I guess that sorta boosted my confidence then. We talked about a lot of things, ranging from lecturers to nasty students to movies (she loved Nigerian movies and I hated them) and finally we talked about family. She was so touched when I told her my parents were separated and I had a step mom. I was surprised I was letting out my frustrations so freely to this woman. She had a listening ear and that further made me tell her so much about me. She also talked about herself, telling me she got married at seventeen against her wish, had five kids, the oldest was fourteen and the youngest was two. I wondered then how a twenty-nine year old woman would have a child of fourteen and claim to have gotten married at seventeen. I buried the thought immediately. She also talked about how her husband mistreated her and slept around with women, beat her often and how she was tired of her marriage but was staying in it for her children's sake etc etc. She had a more touching story and at a point she broke into tears. I was so moved and without thinking I went to sit beside her and pulled her to myself. She sobbed for a good while in my arms and I could feel my groin hardening and my heart racing at an alarming speed. Right then, I knew this woman would never be 'just my student' and I prayed silently for the strength to do the right thing. My spirit was very much willing and I hoped my flesh would not be weak.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE'S TRIP.

Meanwhile, I have not forgotten about the '25 issues I have' tag I got from simeone. Big ups bro. I'll do that in my next post. Thank you

EPISODE 11 – FREE DINNER

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:35:00 +0000

Welcome back to Geebee’s Trip. I guess I should apologize for the previous distraction occasioned by the naijabloggersaward frenzy. Voting is still on till 16th of March, that’s Monday by my calculations so feel free to vote by clicking here. It will take you directly to the voting page and do not forget to vote for Geebee as BEST STUDENT BLOGGER. I’m trying to discuss with my fellow contenders – bumight, exschoolnerd, mizchif and nosa101 to step down for me. I think bumight has agreed though. lol. Now let’s leave the award thing aside and talk business. Welcome to Episode 11 of Geebee’s Trip.

Exams were fast approaching and it felt pretty amusing to notice the seriousness on everyone’s face, well not everyone actually but most. It was obvious no one wanted to fail the first examination in University and even the seemingly unserious and ‘dumb’ ones had to parley with those they felt would be able to help them with one or two things before and during the examinations. I didn’t mind the parleys I got so long as they wanted help ‘before’ the exams. As for the ‘during’ aspect, I definitely had my strong and candid reservations. I believe I am a daring guy who’s done a couple of daring stuff but when it comes to doing such daring stuff in exams or school work, my ‘liver’ fails me like crazy. Somehow I’ve never been good at the ‘expo’ or exam malpractice thing right from secondary school days. It might sound funny but as at that time, I had never asked anyone for answers during exams or ever attempted to cheat during a test or an examination. In fact, the minute I think of trying to pass a paper or do anything fishy during an exam, an alarm goes off in my head and my heart begins to beat at 120/second or more so I never ever gave it a thought. Things have changed now though especially after spending a good number of years in University. I do some daring stuff now but there are limits . . . one of such is carrying ‘chips’ into the examination hall. Lai lai! I continued to do offer the ‘before exams’ assistance I could render to my peers who came around and it was in the process I met a woman called Madam L.

Madam L was one of the older students. It wasn’t quite unusual since it was a part-time institution and in her case, she seemed to be one of the ‘older’ ones who wanted to feel ‘young. She made it all the more obvious with her mannerisms – she wore clothes meant for the ‘girls’, hung out with the younger people and did a lot of ‘show off’ probably just to prove that what the young can do, the old can do better. In fact, the adjective ‘old’ was totally out of her vocabulary. Madam L would tell you “I am not old. I just married early. Check my birth certificate. I’m just twenty nine.”
Now, that was so hard to believe especially since she had the looks of a forty year old, had five kids (did I hear some people say ‘I said it!’) and seemed much more experienced than any twenty nine year old could ever be. She was quite comfortable and drove a good car to school. She often displayed this by buying free lunch and dinners for her younger colleagues in class especially. She was the kind of woman you’d stalk knowing once she was anywhere near the school restaurant or mart and you bumped into her, you would get whatever you wanted – all you had to do was ask. It was pretty common to hear stuff like:
“Madam L, you look great. Let me have a drink on your bill now.”
“ Madam L, the madam, anything for your boy?”
“ Lady L, thank God you’re here. I guess I’d just keep my money.”
“Madam L, I’m hungry o.”
And Madam L always had the same answer for everyone: “No problem.”
In fact, many of my fellow younger students began to take advantage of her generous nature. I believe she was not that generous and her seeming generosity was in a bid to show off to the students or identify with them. Why do I think so? We got pretty close much later so I know. In terms of beauty, I wouldn’t call her particularly beautiful as she was more on the average side. I had known Madam L right from the beginning of the semester but I never actually related with her on a one-on-one basis. I still hated the fact that I was stuck in a school meant for much more advanced people so I stuck to my set – the younger generation. Thankfully, we outnumbered the older ones. It was about two weeks to my first paper when Madam L actually approached me.
“Geebee, how are you?” she said casually.
“Hey Madam L, I’m good. How are you ma?” I replied and at once noticed her irritation probably at my use of the ‘ma’ title.
“I’m okay o. I heard you’re the new lecturer around” she said smiling.
“Lecturer ke? No, I just do the little I can,” I said in feigned humility. In truth, I was elated that she actually thought of me that way.
“Anyway, I won’t mind if you can help me with topics in FMS 110.”
“Really,” I said. “It’s okay. What topics in particular do you have problems with?”
The woman smiled again revealing some wrinkles at the corner of her eyes. I thought of her age claim again and smiled inwardly. Twenty-nine indeed!
“I will be honest with you, Geebee. Everything!”
“Wao. Well, I’ll see what I can do.” I said, wondering what she had been doing while the lecturer was doing his thing that she had not been able to grasp one single topic.
“Do you work?” she asked,
I hesitated before replying in the negative.
“Maybe you can come to my house to teach me then,” she said in a tone that showed she was sure I would agree. Somehow, I could not refuse. What excuse would I have given by the way? Besides, I did not think of the possibility of anything wrong happening so I simply shrugged and agreed. She seemed delighted.
“Thanks Geebee. I appreciate this very much” she said with the obvious gratitude visible in her countenance.
“It’s okay.” I said, smiling. “When do you want me to come?”
“Tomorrow morning, nko?”
“Okay then. I’ll be there by ten o’clock.”
“By the way, have you eaten?” she asked.
I wanted to protest but Madam L would have none of it. That evening, I got a free dinner courtesy of this woman and she made sure I had enough to make sure I didn’t need to eat the dinner at home. Before leaving Madam L reached into her bag and placed something in my hand.
“Use it for your transport,” she said as she walked off. “See you tomorrow.”
I opened my hand and in there was a one thousand naira note. I could hardly contain my joy. I had hit the jackpot, I decided.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’S TRIP!

BREAKING NEWS!!! 'BEST STUDENT BLOGGER' NOMINATION

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 16:28:00 +0000

BREAKING NEWS!!! GEEBEE HAS BEEN NOMINATED FOR 'BEST STUDENT BLOGGER' ON THE NAIJABLOGGERSAWARDS. Thank you blogville for your nominations. PLEASE SHOW THIS BROVA SOME MORE LOVE AND VOTE FOR HIM! Click here or click on the award link on this page to vote. Voting begins at 12 midnight 6th March. THANKS!

Scroll down to enjoy Geebee's Trip's most recent episodes.

EPISODE 10 – SIMON GOES TO SCHOOL

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 13:59:00 +0000

In the last episode, I talked about Simon and almost everyone who dropped a comment has been raining fire and brimstone on a poor innocent me for attempting to corrupt Simon. I’ll prove all y’all wrong with one saying: “You can force a horse to the water but you CANNOT force that horse to drink.” Note the emphasis on ‘cannot.’ In simple words, you can drag the horse to the water and if you like push the horse’s head into the river . . . but if the horse does not want to drink, man, you’re on your own o. You can even forcefully open the horse’s mouth and pour the water in it but if it still does not wish to drink, you’re still OYO. In fact, I promise you by then, the horse would have ‘kicked’ the living daylights out of you. Now, let’s call this horse, Simon. The only reason why Simon would drink that water is if he decides to and no matter what Geebee does, it’s still Simon’s choice.

I managed to stop laughing when Simon told me that he was a virgin and I decided he would have the taste on that day.
‘Okay, let’s go then,” I urged.
“Hold up,” my friend said hesitantly. “What are we going to do there? I mean how do I introduce myself or talk to them . . . the prostitutes.”
I wanted to slap him silly but I restrained myself. Imagine talking about introducing himself to a prostitute. I could almost visualize the scenario.
My guy walks up to the chewing-gum-chewing whore clad in top that was hardly bigger than a handkerchief and wearing a mini skirt that was hardly different from panties . . . “Hello,” he says. “I’m Simon. Nice to meet you. May I know your name? I’m actually here to have sex with you but I have not done this before and if I must say, you’ve got a nice body . . . and bla bla” For cying out loud, what was my guy thinking?
“No, you won’t introduce yourself, okay!” I lashed out impatiently. “You simply walk up to any of the whores you like and say “How far?”
“Just that?” he asked more confused than ever.
“Yes. Just that. She’ll understand and take you straight to her room and you’ll pay her and do your thing.”
“Honestly, Geebee, I’m not comfortable with this,” he said, the fear in his eyes as visible as the rising sun.
“Let’s go then” I said. “Just follow my lead.”
We were at the red light district in less than five minutes and from the look on Simon’s face, it was obvious he had never seen so many ‘jezebels’ all at once. We entered the brothel and almost immediately, two girls tugged at my arm and two others tugged at Simon.
“Fine boy, how now? Make we go my room. I go do you fine oh.”
“Na small money I dey collect but my action super. You go even collect my number sef.”
They spat out the tempting words desperately and a novice would have had a hard time in making a choice among all these ‘forbidden fruits.’
I turned to stare at Simon and silently prayed his heart would not explode in his chest. Finally, I did the selection. One girl for me and one girl for Simon. I winked at my friend and went with the whore I had chosen for myself.
“Let’s meet outside when you’re through,” I said as I winked at my friend again. He looked like he would have a heart attack but I was less concerned especially since I knew he would feel a lot better when next I saw him. Besides he would have broken free off the bondage of virginity or so I thought.

About thirty minutes I was through with ‘my business’ and I came out of the brothel. I saw Simon standing outside as agreed and I couldn’t help smiling. My guy was free at last.
“What’s up man? How was it?” I asked him, smiling mischievously.
He sighed. “I couldn’t,” he simply said.
“You couldn’t what?” I said, wondering if he meant he couldn’t ‘get it up’ or he couldn’t ‘come.’
“I couldn’t do it. Maybe it’s not the right time.”
I stood rooted to the spot for a minute as I watched my friend walk ahead in total dejection. My heart went out to him.

I never brought up the issue again after then and we continued our friendship as though such a thing never happened. Simon later broke the jinx a few months later and his joy knew no bounds. It was as though he had won a lottery of five million dollars. As expected, I was the first person he broke the news to and according to him, it was the best experience of his life. I was indeed happy for him and I silently thanked God that I had no hand in the final act even though he still insists I ‘spoilt’ him and it appears so many of my readers agree with him. What made it very special was the fact that it wasn’t a prostitute he had the first act with but a girl whom he came to love so much for a good while.

On the home front all this while, my dad and my step mom continued to try to be the best they could be, even though I could sense a tension between them. The marriage did not seem to be working out and in spite of how hard they tried to hide this fact; I could see the reality clearly. I continued to wish I could leave home for good. The hunger for freedom was still very much alive in me. I traveled on a few occasions to see my mum and friends in other Universities (especially O.A.U, Ife. Somehow I could not get over not being admitted into Great Ife). Back in school, academics was going on smoothly and we began preparing for our first semester examinations- my first examination as a University student. The tests had been cool and I had been able to carve a niche as one of the ‘brains’ in my class and in fact in the school (it was easy to become popular since the school was pretty small at the time) but this was an examination and I was determined to grab the whole 5 point G.P.A if possible. This period also proved to be a time when colleagues in school tended to get closer to the brilliant ones hoping for one favour or the other. I got my own share of the closeness and one particular woman came into the picture and this opened a whole new chapter in my life – a dangerous chapter that spanned many months. I met Madam L.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’S TRIP!

EPISODE 9 – A BOY CALLED SIMON

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 14:17:00 +0000

I guess I deserve a ‘Welcome back’ from myself to myself from the ‘tag break’ and it seems I’m going to be taking another tag break pretty soon. I got tagged again by simeone in the ‘25 issues I have’ tag and I’m starting to see the reason behind the saying ‘Be careful what you wish for.’ I wished for the tags and they’re pouring in plenty plenty and holding up my episodes of ‘Geebee’s Trip.’ No wahala sha, I’ll definitely do this one even though it might take a little while. Geebee’s Trip must continue.

First I should respond to the ‘2 truths and 1 lie meme.’ I’m glad the responses poured in from you folks and I really proved that I wasn’t a good liar afterall. Quite a number of you got the lie right but I wouldn’t be able to do the analysis of the ‘correct’ and incorrect ones now like I saw on FFF's blog. Let’s hear the truths and the lies now.

1. I once slept with a mother of five – TRUE. This happened sometime in 2004-2005. Yeah, I know it sounds crazy and you should crucify me and stone me to death for this one but then it is the Lord that forgives, right? Doug, I am Godfearing o but I guess the devil was in charge as at the time this happened. Sometimes in life, we make a lot of mistakes and wish we could undo them but then the past is past. I would be talking about this one later on in subsequent episodes of ‘Geebee’s Trip’ and you’ll see how easy it is to fall into temptation and do things you’d never imagine you could do. More on this later. Hope y’all forgive me for this.

2. I once broke up with my girlfriend because I didn’t want to spend money on Valentine’s Day – LIE. Money has never been an object when it comes to my relationships. I have never tried to impress a girl with money. I'd simply tell a girl how well I am financially and if she's not going to stay because of that, then it's her loss. So far, I've never had such money wahala with any girl before. I have been broke on a coupl’a Valentine days but that has never been a reason for me to want to break up with a girl or something. Those of you who thought this was true (Rita, StandTall, Spicytee, Enkay etc.), no I didn’t. Now, some of you guys figured this out easy enough. Big ups to solomonsydelle, NoLimit and simeone. Now, how did you guys figure this one out? Does that mean you already believed # 1 was true? Haba, so you believe a poor innocent soul like me could commit such an atrocity. Anyways, nice one.

3. I made the first journey in life in a ship- TRUE. I was born in Liverpool, U.K in 1985 where my parents were students at the time, having been resident for about two years before then. I spent the first six months of my life there and on the return journey to Nigeria, we had so much luggage that an air ticket plus luggage charges would have been ridiculous so my folks took the option of traveling by ship and we spent almost two weeks before touching down at Apapa (so I heard). Thank God I never had that sea-sickness that my parents and so many others on board had. I think two people on board that ship actually died of sea sickness.

So, that’s that. Wao, took a while. Are we headed for another long post? I’ll try to make the remainder short. Here’s Episode 9 of Geebee’s Trip.

EPISODE 9 – A BOY CALLED SIMON
In Episode 8, I introduced Simon, my new ‘bolo’ friend. ‘Bolo’ is another name for ‘ajebota’ or ‘unexposed’ or ‘person wey neva soji.’ Let’s leave it at that. Now, I had never had the luxury of having my own pad, my own place. Simon on the other hand felt so lonely, being away from his parents’ shelter and on his own for the first time in his life. I constantly wished I could trade places with Simon and the thoughts of things I could do given that opportunity always sent shivers of ecstasy down my spine. I started spending a lot of time with my new friend. I’d pop out of the house once I had breakfast and be at Simon’s place till evening when it was time for lectures and then we’d leave together. However, I could not bring myself to sleeping at his place despite his pleas. My dad would have poured fire and brimstone.

Back in 2004, my friend, Simon was not really the academically smart type so I did my bit in explaining some of the school work and difficult problems to him and that further endeared him to me. However, like they say, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I was already into a whole lot of vices at the time. I drank, smoked, partied and even did the most evil thing – I patronized prostitutes. Simon was always too boring when it came to such youthful exuberance matters. Deep down nevertheless, I sensed a boy who wanted to explore and fly but was too scared to. He often assumed the stance of a bad boy to the outside world but I was the only one he could show his real self to. This trusting nature of his further touched me and I decided I would help this boy the best way I could. Now, I wonder if ‘help’ actually meant teaching him bad stuff. The first point of call was the ‘virginity issue.’ I was shell-shocked when Simon told me he was a virgin. On that fateful day, I had some extra change and since I had no girlfriend I decided I needed to get laid before heading home after school. There was a secluded brothel I had discovered a few months before. I casually asked my friend to accompany me.
“Where are you going?” Simon asked concernedly.
“Somewhere” I replied. “Actually, it’s a brothel.”
He looked confused. “Brothel? Or you mean hotel.”
“Whatever,” I said “It’s an ashewo joint.” I said matter-of-factly.
The shock in his eyes almost had me slapping him. “Ah, it’s a sin o.”
“Of course it’s a sin” I retorted, “And that’s why we pray for forgiveness. We sin everyday. A sin is a sin. Killing someone or cursing someone and going to fuck ashewo is all the same thing before God.” I knew I was wrong but I needed to act defensive.
‘Men, I’m shocked o.” Simon said.
I shrugged. “It does not matter. If I had a girlfriend, I won’t be doing this.” I further said. “It’s just like sleeping with your girlfriend, only that you have to pay for it.”
“Men, you are a bad boy o,” Simon said grinning and shaking his head.
“You mean you’ve not slept with a girl before,” I asked hoping he’d tell me he had done it before.
“Of course I have,” he said and I sighed with relief. There’s a kind of good feeling that beclouds you when you find out you’re not the only one doing a wrong thing. I guess that’s what I felt right then. We walked on in silence for a while before Simon spoke again.
“Geebee,” he said.
“What’s up?” I replied casually.
“Don’t tell anyone I told you this.”
“What?” I said, wondering if he was going to tell me he had AIDS. I decided instantly that if that was the case, then I’d run for my life. At that time, I guess I almost believed AIDS could be passed simply by touching.
“I’ve not had sex before.” Simon said looking ashamed.
All I could do was laugh. “You mean you’re a virgin!”
“Yes, I’m a virgin.”
I laughed a little longer. That day was his lucky day, I decided.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’S TRIP!

MY TAGS – ‘QUESTION AND ANSWER’/ 2 TRUTHS, 1 LIE MEME/ THIS SPECIAL VALENTINE.

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 20:43:00 +0000

This is gonna be one very long post. I hope you have the patience. Patience is a strong virtue, remember and if you’ve got it then you’re closer to God than many others. I shall be doing a lot of stuff on this one. First, I’ll be doing my tags – the ‘Question and Answer’ tag from Buttercup and then another tag, the much dreaded ‘2 truths, 1 lie meme.’ I got this one from Enkay. Big ups sis. How’s ‘Blogtopia’ treating you? I’ll also be talking about the latest event – Valentine’s Day. Then I still got to do the regular Geebee’s trip episode. I’ll be doing Episode 9 - A BOY CALLED SIMON. On second thought, I think it’d be better I defer this episode till later so I could get your feel on the tags first. Sorry for any disappointments for those looking forward to the episodes but you can be sure I’ll do the thing as soon as possible. So, let’s go straight to the tags.

‘QUESTION AND ANSWER’ TAG

Q & A.

where is your cell phone? Pocket.

where is your significant other? Nigeria

your hair color? Black

your mother? Supermum

your father? Indescribable

your favorite thing? Wristwatches

your dream last night? Didn’t

your dream/goal? Fulfilment

the room you're in? Office

your hobby? Writing

where do you want to be in 6 years? Eldorado

where were you last night? Home

what you're not? Pretender

one of your wish list items? Yacht

where you grew up? Lagos

the last thing you did? Sneezed

what are you wearing? Shirt

your tv? Off

your pet? Cleopatra

your computer? Compaq

your mood? Excited

missing someone? Sure

your car? Footwagen

something you're not wearing? Underpants

favorite store? None

your summer? Refreshing

love someone? Yeah

your favorite color? Black

when is the last time you laughed? Now

last time you cried? 2008

are you a b*tch? Nah

favorite past time? Shoesalesman

are you a hater or a lover? Both

are you genuine or fake? Genuine

any vices? Numerous

pro life or wire hanger? Life

mccain or obama? Obama

pro plastic or natural? Natural

dream job? President

Q & A TAG RULES

1. All Answers To Each Question Must Be In ‘ONE WORD.’ Funny enough, my ‘tagger’, Buttercup broke that rule so badly. lol. Not that I blame her though. I wonder how those who made the rule would expect one to answer questions that ordinarily require detailed answers in just one word. Anyways I tried my best not to break that rule even though I wish I could be as explicit as possible in my answers.

2. Link the person who tagged you (I’ve already done that!) and pass the tag along to seven people. I’m passing this to:

- Enkay
- Shona
- wellsbaba
- Femi b
- Tommeh
- Emeka Amakeze
- Iwalewa

I seriously hoped none of them have gotten this particular tag though. It’s pretty difficult to keep tabs on those who have been tagged or not these days.

‘2 TRUTHS, 1 LIE’ MEME
As noted earlier, I got this one from Enkay. I must say I am not a very good liar. Somehow, I always get caught and I won’t be surprised if I get caught on this one by all o’ y’all. So, let’s see how smart you guys are: Here are three statements of which two are true and one is a lie.

1. I once slept with a mother of five.

2. I once broke up with my girlfriend because I didn’t want to spend money on Valentine’s Day.

3. I made the first journey in life in a ship.

So, there you go. Sounds pretty easy, right? Like I said before, moi ain’t no good liar. Let me have your feel on this.

That’s that for the tags. Let’s talk about Valentine’s Day, the event that has almost become more popular than Christmas in recent times. The D-day is not just around the corner. It is actually right at your front door and staring you in the face. I wouldn’t be surprised if Naija people soon begin to push for a declaration of February 14 as a public holiday. I remember in Obasanjo’s era, we usually had like twenty-something public holidays every year and I wonder why the man did not simply declare February 14 as one of the holidays since he seemed to love declaring holidays so much. Well, this year’s Valentine’s Day is very much different, especially because it falls on a Saturday. I remember the last time Val’s day fell on a Saturday was in 2004 and that was when I had my first and most irritating Valentine’s Day especially because I had to mark the day with a girl I wasn’t too comfortable with at the time. Well, well, past tense, they say. However, that event kindled in me a desire. I decided I would like to get married on a Valentine’s Day and since weddings are usually fixed on Saturdays, I had to decide between February 14, 2009 or February 14, 2015 (that’s the next Saturday Val’s day) and the latter seems to be the best choice at the moment. I’ll be about 29 then so what the hell? Perfect timing. My daughter would be about eight and she’d most definitely make a perfect little bride especially if I’ll be getting married to her mom. I really hope so but one hurdle remains . . . Can my babymama wait? You know that thing women say about age catching up with them fast and stuff like that. There’s a whole lot behind this story and I hope to share most of it in future episodes of Geebee’s Trip. Anyways, I’ve not had such pressing discussions yet with her and I really wouldn’t want to bug myself with such thoughts now. Come to think of it, 2015 is really not far away. Now, did someone say I’m selfish? Hmmm, please don’t judge me if you don’t know me (Tupac’s lines. How e take talk am sef?).

So long for Valentine’s Day. At the moment, I still have no definite plans except that I’ll have fun tomorrow and I’ll be with just one girl – My babymama (who else?). As for those of you who are single-and-desperately-searching, just assume you have the Lord Jesus Christ as your val for this year and hopefully, he’ll provide you with someone you can truly love by this time next year. For those who decided to break up with their girlfriends or boyfriends just when February 14 was around the corner for ‘reasons best known to them’, na wa for una o.Who says love is not sweet. Even D’banj, the crazy kokomaster and woman wrapper had to confess ‘You don make me fall in love.’ Wishing you all a wonderful Valentine celebration. Hope you guys are gonna let me know how it went. GEEBEE’S TRIP WILL BE BACK SHORTLY.

EPISODE 8 – THE BUILDING DESIRE [OF A CAGED BIRD] TO FLY

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 14:36:00 +0000

Time has begun its speedy drift again and I can hardly help being amazed at this speed. On Sunday morning, I woke up to realize that it’s February 1st. It’s so hard to imagine that one full month has gone by already. In fact, 2009 still feels pretty new to me. I know this because I still make mistakes in writing my dates. For instance, I was at one of the Oceanic bank branches yesterday to pay in some money into my account (Yes o! I save money too and don’t bother about how much I put in this time?). I had filled in the necessary details on the deposit slip and passed it on to the cashier so I waited impatiently for the formalities of confirmation and stamping and all those funny stuff they do in banks. A few seconds had passed when the pretty cashier called my attention to correct the error on my slip. It was then I realized I had written 03/02/08 instead of 03/02/09. Trust me; I have made this error at least twenty times this year. Well, well, time does fly and sharp, sharp, it’s already February!

I just hit one of my first blogville milestones recently. I GOT TAGGED! Yes, I got tagged by Buttercup and I’m still basking in that euphoria. Really, it might not seem like a big deal to many of you but it is to me. I remember times when I’d do posts and get no comments, sometimes one or two comments and I’d be like wao. Now, I get a few more and I’m still like hmmm, cool. Now, it’s a tag. Shows I’m making some progress, uh? Let’s hope the tags keep coming and who said getting a blogger award soon would be a bad thing? Don’t mind me. I’m just flirting with myself. Well, the tag is the ‘Question and Answer’ tag and I’ll be responding pretty soon. I promised to do it in this post but due to some factors, I wouldn’t be able to do it until the next post . . . Promise! Hope y’all stay tuned. Once again, thanks for the tag, Buttercup. How’s Chari? Abeg, no too miss am oh. Easy easy, sista.

Now, let’s talk about today’s episode – THE BUILDING DESIRE [OF A CAGED BIRD] TO FLY. The title reminds me of Nefertiti. Yeah, she’s the caged bird, right? But now, the caged bird here refers to me back in early 2004. Finally, I had settled in as a student of Economics in Lagos State University, Lekki Campus. It was a part time programme, remember. The excitement was indeed in the air at first but soon wore off as the weeks and months ran by. Lectures started, we had orientation programmes and it was pretty amusing watching the ‘thirty-something and forty something year old students’ trying to feel cool and acquainted with the little ones like me. I resolved to make academic excellence my priority but have fun nonetheless and like I said in the last episode, there were a good number of folks like me who wanted to have fun as well. It did not take too long to make friends and probably because I was one of the guys who caught on easily what the lecturers had to say, I had people wanting to get close to me. The attention felt good, I must confess – especially from the girls but somehow none of them seemed interested in me beyond the ‘book thing.’ It was all about “Geebee, can you explain those Statistics questions to me again?” or “Geebee, thanks for the other time but if you’re free, can you help me with that Economic Mathematics problem?” Yes, it felt good to have cute girls sit close to you while you taught them, but I wished then that I had them saying stuff like “ Geebee, do you have a girlfriend?” or “Geebee, why don’t we go out sometime?” You know the drill.
However, I continued to roll with the times and somehow I always wished school time could be longer. We had just four hours of lectures every week day from five p.m to nine p.m and that meant I spent the entire morning and afternoon period at home doing nothing! It was suffocating. I was almost nineteen and I was stiff bored with life again. I could hardly wait for evenings everyday and I spent the entire weekend praying for Monday to come so I could go back to ‘explaining economic and mathematical questions to the cute girls’ in school.

Back at the homefront, life wasn’t at its best. I had to wake up every morning and wash Dad and Cyan’s cars, have my breakfast and later, lunch and hang around with movies or my books till four p.m when I would prepare for school. I hardly felt like a University student whenever I was home. The housemaids continued to come and go but they didn’t seem to appeal to me anymore like they did back then when I was desperate to get into University. Liz and Elfy had since left the house; Liz to U.K to join her fiancé and Elfy to her own apartment somewhere I never ever knew. I sometimes recalled the crazy periods when I used to peep through keyholes to watch them have their baths and I would smile, but the smiles were always momentary. I was now grown up and those things seemed to me as stupid childish indulgence. I began to wish again and again that I had been admitted in a full-time institution or at least somewhere not too close to my home. By then, BD was already in final year in Ambrose Alli University, Ekpoma and Sean was with my mum in Akure, preparing to resume in University of Benin whereas I was stuck at home with Chief and getting treated like a ‘last born.’ I realized I needed to fly. I decided to get a job – something that would see me spending less time at home. I was sure with that, I would gain more respect from my folks and the ‘part-time’ experience would be less bearable. Whilst I dropped resumes and applications all over and waited for a flimsy job offer, I spent more time hanging out with my new friend, Simon.

Now, Simon was the new guy who was out of his parents’ grips for the first time. He had come to LASU, Lekki Campus all the way from Festac town and due to the distance, his folks had arranged an accommodation for him. It was just a one room apartment but I would have killed to get that opportunity. I knew there was no way on earth Chief would agree to my renting a place outside home when my school was just ten minutes drive away! I could not even dream of spending a single night outside my house. What reason would I have given? Simon was the luckiest guy I knew as far as I was concerned but the funny thing was, he was the most innocent guy I had ever met as well. He was a guy who had never done anything bad in his entire life – never smoked, drank or womanized – three things every young guy should have done at one time or the other. We were more like worlds apart in terms of personalities but there was one problem- He looked up to me and wanted me for a friend. On the other hand, I needed freedom. I needed to fly. It was an offer worth taking. I knew I needed no protégé but then it felt good to have one. The relationship soon proved to be a symbiotic one and helped me in achieving my plan – to fly out of my cage soon. By then, it was March 2004.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’s TRIP!

EPISODE 7- THE THING ABOUT MATURITY

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:11:00 +0000

These days, I have seen certain things that make me wonder how little kids mature so fast. Back then, when I was in secondary school, it appeared the maturing process was somewhat slower compared with these days. Some of my mates back then didn’t have beards or even the slightest trace of it until after we left secondary school. As for the girls, only very few could actually boast of full breasts back then and come to think of it, most of us back then were fifteen, sixteen and seventeen year olds then. Today however, it’s been a totally different ball game. You see secondary school students looking like macho men and the girls looking like mothers of two with everything ‘ripe and ready to drop.’ The language that even proceeds out of their mouths leave you almost closing your ears. Sometime last week, I stopped to buy oranges on my way from work when I heard a conversation between one of these school girls and an older man.

Girl- Bros, me sef I go lick orange o. Buy for me na.
Man- (smiling as he stared at the girl’s heavy bosom) You wan lick orange? Upon those two big oranges wey you carry for there.
Girl- Na so now. As me I get orange for here na so you sef carry banana for there (points towards his groin area).

I could hardly contain my disgust especially with the way people around laughed and the ‘agbaya’ of a guy grinned from ear to ear like the big loser he was. I bought my oranges and moved on and wondered curiously as I walked on. Forget the big bosom and all, that girl couldn’t have been more than fifteen! Wonders shall never end. Now, to Episode 7 of GEEBEE’S TRIP.

I was so glad when the admission list came out and I could hardly wait to resume lectures as a full University student. It hardly mattered to me that it was a part-time school and so I would miss most of the pecks and razz-mataaz associated with a full time institution. All that mattered to me was the fact that I was now a University student. At eighteen plus, I felt I was too old. Again, time went by pretty fast and within two months, we had resumed. The first discouraging factor on resumption was the school premises and the lecture period. We resumed in a secondary school building and lectures were fixed for evenings. We couldn’t even boast of a motion ground like the ones I had seen in O.A.U. In fact, O.A.U, Ife could have swallowed my school a thousand times over! It was then I understood the true meaning of ‘part-time.’ It was a general assumption that most of the part-time students would be workers and as such, the best time for lectures was in the evenings or during weekends. Again, my impatience got the better part of me and I decided to ignore the pitiable factor. I believed it would be worth my while. The first day of lectures proved to be a real eye-opener. A good number of students turned up. We must have been about three hundred or thereabout on that day but it was so shocking to see that about half of the total population were adults – men and women old enough to be my parents! What kind of education were these old folks looking for at such old age? I wondered in horror. I realized I wasn’t even half as mature as I thought. I was just a kid! It felt absurd though because I knew of eighteen year olds who were already in their second and third years in other Universities but alas, this was a part-time institution – reserved for the old and busy and not for young folks like me. I didn’t belong here but what was I to do at that point? Write another JAMB? Olorun ma je!

Luckily, we had quite a good number of people within my age grade too but trust me; I couldn’t find anyone I was older than. In an instant, the feeling of being ‘too old’ became a feeling of being ‘far too young.’ I learnt I had something in common with the young ones like me. Like me, JAMB or their proposed Universities had dealt with them so badly and out of frustration; they had taken the part-time option. I met people who had stayed home for six, seven years writing JAMB or hoping to get into one University or the other. At the same time, I met men and women who had been married for years and who even had children in University who would graduate in a short while. I often wondered what a forty year old man or woman needed a Bachelor’s Degree for. With all these thoughts on my mind, I was truly humbled and resolved to make the best use of my time and enjoy my stay in University the best way I could. Fortunately, there were so many like-minded people and together, we resolved that we would create a fun-filled environment out of the so-called part-time University institution that had always been assumed was for old people who were too busy raising children and families and decided to go to University at the time they should be retiring or sending their kids to University. In spite of all the discouragements posed by the academic environment, it was not too difficult to see that there were a lot of beautiful girls and fun-loving guys around. I realized that it wouldn’t be so boring after all. All I needed to do was hook up with the right people. In no time, I did and that was the beginning of a totally dangerous adventure for me.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’s TRIP!

EPISODE 6 – ANSWERED PRAYERS

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 14:28:00 +0000

Well, what should I say? It sure feels good to be back with ‘Geebee’s Trip.’ I remember the last episode before this one came sometime in the first week of December 2008 and then, there was an unfortunate incident that took the life of someone I know shortly before Christmas and I had to write about it, and then, we had the festivities . . . and I had to write on that as well (who didn’t?). Anyway, the series is back now and hopefully, we will have no further interruptions except need be, maybe if some UFOs eat up Nigeria’s satellite in space. I’d definitely want to talk about that.

In Episode 5, I talked about my experience in JAMB class and stuff with Beesla, U.J and the likes. It sure was a great experience back then but over time, the boy had to grow up and more things happen. Fast forward to July 2003. The waiting period from April when I wrote the JAMB/UME exams for the third time and the time the results came out in July was one hell of a time. It was boring and annoying and in between, I took up a job as a teacher in the smallest primary school I had ever seen. The school had about four rooms. Two classes shared a room each and took up about three rooms and the last room served as the Proprietress’ office cum school office cum store room cum every other thing the school didn’t have space for. Truth be told, that school was one helluva school. I was assigned to teach Primary 5 and I had to shout on top of my voice whenever I taught because the Primary 6 pupils whom we shared a room with were having classes at the same time. My pay package at the time was N3000 and oh, it seemed like a good deal of money back then. I was almost eighteen, bored and it felt good to earn money for the first time in my whole life. I guess I totally underestimated the situation when I started. I had hardly worked for two weeks when I fled. The proprietress felt very bad that I had to leave so soon. My ‘lie’ was convincing enough I guess. I had told her that I just received my admission letter and I had to resume University. I believe I said that in faith then. The woman was kind enough to give me half of my salary though.

By July ending, the JAMB/UME results came out and I scored 216. I was mad and furious at the same time. I had expected a score of about 290 or thereabout especially since Chief had gotten me into a special centre. It was very much obvious my score would never get me into O.A.U to study Economics and again, I began to consider other crazy options like Religious Studies or even Yoruba! As far as I was concerned, if I did not get into University that year, I would kill myself. I wrote so many poems during this period on how I wanted to commit suicide, how God was unfair, how much I hated life . . . lots of them. Sometimes, I turn to my poem book and smile when I see these poems. Really, it felt crazy back then and it was pretty easy to believe God wasn’t what He said he was. Sean, my younger brother just got out of school at that time and he scored 210 on his first attempt at JAMB/UME. Man! that made me much more furious. I was happy for him though but it hurt real bad to imagine that I had lost two years at home and my younger brother was about to catch up with me. Back then, such things mattered a great deal. It felt like repeating two classes in school and your juniors catching up with you while your peers move on. Alas, as I wondered what I would do next, a miracle happened. My dad came home one evening about two weeks later with a newspaper ad from which I learnt that Lagos State University was admitting students into its external stream. There was a campus in Lekki as well. My dad never even had to persuade me. I jumped at the offer instantly and the next day, I bought the form from the campus office. I had all the necessary qualifications and in no time, I submitted the completed forms. The rest of the time went by in top speed. We had entrance examinations that felt like JAMB and it was then I realized I really feared the so-called ‘Almighty JAMB.’ I did pretty well by my standards and when the results came out about a month later, my name was boldly written at the top of the list of those admitted to study Economics. My joy knew no bounds. Finally, my prayers had been answered. The fact that I should have gotten into University two years before hardly mattered at that moment. All that mattered to me right then was that I had finally been admitted into University to study a course I had always wanted - Economics! For me, that was the true definition of ‘answered prayers.’

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’s TRIP!

2009: WHAT DOES THE NEW YEAR HOLD?

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 16:57:00 +0000

Before I start this post, let me do a little 4-line rhyme that sounds more like a prayer. Believe it or not, it works. I’ve been doing this every year since 2002 and my friends who get these messages on their mobile phones, email addresses and any other means all tell me they like the style. I guess it works for them. Mind you, it’s original, no copyright infringements allowed except with the permission of the writer (me). Lol.

In this year two-thousand-and-nine
May laughter and joy unspeakable be thine
May your days be bright and your sun continue to shine
And may the Almighty God continually keep you fine.

Hope y’all loved it and hope you said ‘Amen.’ Good. Now, to the real post.

I believe I should have done this post yesterday but somehow I could not step out of my house throughout the day. Yeah, pretty unusual you would say but that’s just what happened. It all still sounds quite funny to me. I spent half the day sleeping, thanks to the watch night service in mom’s church on 31st December. I spent the other half watching Season 4 of Prison Break and before you could say two-thousand-and-nine, it was night and there was no way I could go out anymore. Would you believe I did not even have my bath until eleven p.m or thereabout as I prepared to retire for the night? What a way to start a new year. In the past, I would have believed since I began my year that way, I would have a very ‘dirty’ year. So much for funny beliefs. By the way, I am still in Akure, Ondo State and time has been flying rather fast. I can hardly believe the holidays are over and work has got to start again. By His grace, I should be on my way back to Lagos on Sunday and back to normal life. Arrrrrrrrgh! Normal life! Normal is boring like fidodido would say but then, do we have a choice? Guess not.

I believe we have a lot to thank God for. Finally, we made it into 2009 and it’s like ‘what the hell?’ Time has begun its crazy speed again and it’s already the second day of the year. In fact, it’s far spent since it’s about 5.00pm right now. Tomorrow is 3rd and before you know what’s up, January is over, February, March . . . bla bla and then, it’s another new year. The whole scenario simply makes me want to see God and ask Him how he does these things. But then, it’s not just about the speed of time and stuff, what we should think about so strongly is about how much we have done with our time. What have you set out to achieve in time past? What were your goals in previous years? How many of such goals did you achieve? Have you procrastinated so much that it has virtually become a habit. I guess I am particularly guilty of this. I still have goals I made five years ago that still remain unattained. Why? Then I begin to highlight my excuses. Oh, they are numerous but are they actually worth it? No! Now, it’s 2009 and I’m seriously praying I achieve such goals this year and once I think, I begin to have shivers. What if I don’t achieve them again? What if I have such flimsy excuses again. It’s already three days into the year now (well, almost) and I’m so worried that the remaining three hundred and sixty two days would run so fast that by the time it’s 2010, I’ll still find myself in the same position. Then, only one thing comes to mind. I get on my knees and pray. I ask God for His grace and I believe he would grant me this grace to achieve all my goals this year. Then, something else comes up. I tell myself “After all, you’ve been asking for this grace year after year and yet, it’s still the same.” I sigh and tell myself. “It is well.”

Now, this tale may sound very much contradictory and funny but if you search yourself deeply, you might find yourself in this very situation and what have you been doing about it? Perhaps, your opinion might matter a lot and help me. Mine might help you as well. Like I said, I never ever stop asking for that grace and whenever the doubt creeps in, I tell myself, “It is well.” Perhaps that’s what has kept me going. Nonetheless, I am very sure this year is gonna be different from every other year. It is going to be the best year I ever had and every year I spend from now on will be better than the previous. Do you believe the same for yourself? Once again, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL! WELCOME TO 2009!

GEEBEE’S TRIP WOULD CONTINUE IN THE NEXT POST. STAY TUNED!

REMINISCING ON 2008: GLAD TO BE ALIVE

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 15:47:00 +0000

This post is a little unusual especially since it's not the conventional 'GEEBEE'S TRIP' Episode. GEEBEE'S TRIP is definitely not over. Ma'er of fact, it's hardly begun but then I want to believe it will be very much okay to digress a little and give the series a rest till 2009. Wao! did I just say 2009? Yes I did and it makes my body shiver and my heart tingle and my nuts jingle. The new year's just a week away and somehow I can't wait to touch it. The entire feeling sparks up a lot of looking back and reminiscing in my heart and the only words I can mutter are 'Thank You Lord for seeing me through 2008.' I speak this words with absolute faith that the great God that saw us all through 2008 and all the preceeding years will see us into 2009 and far beyond. Did I hear you say a big Amen. Somebody shout 'Halleluyah! (Yeah I attend the Pastor Adeboye's church too). lol.

Last Saturday, precisely the 20th of December, I was in school for a test and a most shocking news came. Billy was confirmed dead. Billy (I can't even remember his last name) was a final year student of LASU like me even though from a different department but it wouldn't be an understatement to say Billy was your typical man's man. He was one of those rare guys you can't help but like. Truth be told, we hardly related on close terms but he was definitely a guy everyone knew. Petite, smooth-talking, loveable, likeable, calm, religious, brilliant, accomodating . . . and all the other good words you can possibly remember would be the best words to describe who this Billy guy was. In fact, when LASU Lekki campus opened, he was one of the people who began the school fellowship which has grown to be so big now. He has emceed our awards on about two occassions. He has mobilised students better than anyone I know in my school and done so many other admirable things I cannot begin to mention now. Alas, on that fateful day, news reached us that Billy was dead. How did he die? We heard he was on a motorbike on his way to Victoria Island the Friday evening before and while entering a roundabout, an on-moving trailer lost two of its tyres on top speed and those tyres hit Billy's bike. Strange, right? I thought so too and I cannot still comprehend how this happened. We heard the bikeman died instantly but Billy, now unconscious was rushed to St. Nicholas Hospital. Amidst vigils and non-stop prayers made for him by his church and his loved ones, Billy gave up early on Saturday morning. Trust me, it was a festival of tears in school on that day and the day after and I bet the festival has not ended right now.

When I think about all this, I wonder 'Why Billy?' and I cannot help but sigh. Would this guy have imagined in his wildest dreams that he would not see 2008 Christmas or even year 2009 for that matter. If people like Billy could die, what about less righteous people (pardon the statement) like me and so many others. It's all by God's grace. Some would say 'Don't take okada and stuff' but how do you expect to survive in a place like Lagos if you won't take okada (motorbikes). You'll probably spend half the day in traffic then. I've had three bike accidents this year and escaped with nothing more than a scar. it could have been worse! I have seen accidents where people died like animals in 2008! I have watched my daughter almost die from teething in thesame 2008! People have lost their moms, their dads, their aunts and uncles, their friends, even some have lost their lives in this same year 2008! I have travelled at least twelve times between Lagos and Ondo State (my mum lives there) in this same 2008 and amidst all these, God has been faithful. I sometimes wonder why God has kept me alive inspite of all my shortcomings (Oh they are numerous. Much too numerous and still counting) and I get lost for words.

I am also glad for Nigeria. Things have happened in this country in 2008 that would have happened in some countries and caused a disintegration and yet we are still one united country. God's grace is indeed abundant. In this same 2008, I lost three mobile phones. the first one was gone for good and the other two got returned to me miraculously after days. I never knew such things could happen in a country like Naija or maybe I'm just God's favourite. I know I'm not alone in this. So many other people exist with similar stories like mine and sometimes we're bound to think so highly of ourselves but it's pertinent to always remember it's all by God's grace we are where we are today. Let us remember Billy's story and have a sober reflection. People who are much better than so many of us are gone today but here we are still strong. God is indeed a faithful God. Reminiscing over 2008, I must say I'm glad to be alive and I hope to write a similar piece on this page by this time next year. By God's grace, I will do thesame next year. Enjoy the best of the season and please, don't wine and dine too much o. Meanwhile, it seems everyone is out of town for the festivities. I'm out of town as well presently in Ondo State with my daughter, my babymama, my mum, my grandmum and my brothers. Chief is back in Lagos and I wish him a wonderful time this Christmas and New Year. GEEBEE'S TRIP will continue in the New Year. Thank you all for making 2008 a most wonderful year for me. See you all in 2009.

WISHING ALL BLOGVILLE 'CITIZENS' A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A WONDERFUL 2009 AHEAD.

EPISODE 5 – THE VICE OF TEENAGE PROMISCUITY pt. 2

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:12:00 +0000

There is something funny about being caught doing the wrong thing and it is basically the instant shock that accompanies the realization, usually on the part of the culprit. Sometimes, the shock is not that of the culprit alone. The look of surprise on the face of the one who discovers the culprit is usually amusing as well. That was exactly the scenario when Chief caught me red handed going through his ‘stash’ (that’s one word I got from solomonsydelle and I can hardly contain my amusement). What I found in that locker was a stash indeed – a secret locker that wasn’t meant to be opened by anyone except the Chief himself. Well, curiosity led me into this discovery and in that split second before I realized I wasn’t alone, a couple of thoughts ran through my seventeen-year old mind. What was my dad doing with such stuff? Actually, at that age I had never seen pornography before (are you surprised?). Seriously now, I hadn’t and secretly I had always had the longing and helped myself with my ‘peeking’ like I said in the last episode. Anyway, I wondered and before I could place a reason on it, my dad appeared right behind me.
“What are you doing there, Gbenga?” my old man blurted out in the angriest voice I had ever heard in a while.
At that moment, all I could do was have a flashback of the last time my dad beat me. I must have been about eight at that time and I began wondering if the man wouldn’t beat me again after almost ten years.
“I – I – was -” I began stuttering and feeling the sweat break out on my forehead almost instantly. Fortunately, Chief spared me the stress.
“Hand that over,” he simply said in a much calmer voice and it was then I realized I was holding the CD in my hand. Quickly I handed it over and dad put it back in the drawer and locked it securely.
“Those kind of movies are not for boys your age, okay!” he said on a note of finality as he walked away. I managed to nod my head and as I heard his bedroom door shut, I sighed gratefully. It was then I realized that my old man was probably as embarrassed as I was. I knew that was the reason he could not touch me. What reason would he have given for beating me by the way? Stealing his mojo? I don’t think so.

Sometimes I still wonder why my Chief had such a movie in his possession but these days, I have come to understand that every adult has a right to do certain things and unfortunately, children don’t have that right. However, my funny thoughts and wishes persisted and somehow it was pretty hard to get myself on the straight part. I believe I would have been much more composed if I had been with mum especially because of her strong Christian tendencies but with dad, it was so easy to stray, especially since he wasn’t at all the best spiritual role model. Well, I focused a little more on my JAMB/UME coaching even though I knew it was such a late time to begin preparing for the exam. This was in March 2003 and the examination was scheduled for April. This meant that I had about one month to prepare for an exam that should normally take a year’s preparation. What further angered me in the whole situation was the fact that I would have to write the same exam with Sean who was rounding up secondary school at the time. Again and again, I cursed O.A.U, Ife for subjecting me to such ridicule.

The coaching classes proved to be such a nice avenue to ease my troubles and boredom at home and shy as I was, I still made friends easily, especially among the girls. Somehow, they didn’t seem to mind that I was just a lanky, skinny kid who was joining them a few weeks to the D-day. With time, I got used to being in the center and it was there I had the chance to truly get involved in a relationship. The girl’s name was Beesla and she was such a simple and innocent girl that I just found myself liking so easily. The manner with which we began was somewhat romantic especially because it was actually poetry and our interests in it that got us talking for the first time. Beesla had a book where she often composed poems and for an amateur at the time, she was pretty good. Before long, we began exchanging poems. She’d write one for me and I’ll do the same for her. It all started on a platonic level but before long, feelings got involved and even then, we knew our boundaries. She was a virgin and that fact made it virtually impossible to do anything but smile at each other (Man! It was so annoying). Back at home, we had more housemaids that kept coming and going (Cyan just couldn’t find a maid that would satisfy her) and while some were ‘nice’ to me, some wouldn’t even think about it. Meanwhile, I was too timid to even suggest to Beesla about taking our relationship a little further but I was spared the stress yet again when U.J, the prettiest chic in the coaching center at the time picked an interest in me. I could hardly believe my luck!

U.J was pretty in the real sense of the word and how we got personal still remains a mystery to me. In my coaching center, there was a special arrangement that of course had some extra cost attached. Chief didn’t mind so long as it meant I would pass well and get into University so he gladly paid. According to the arrangement, we had to write the exam in a special center that entailed us going all the way to Ibadan. In the bus, U.J and I sat together by chance and naturally, we had to talk. We talked about a good number of things and laughed all the way. It was so easy to get carried away with each other and for a good while, I forgot about being shy and basked in the euphoria of talking to a girl better guys than me didn’t have the guts to talk to. It felt so good. We spent two nights in Ibadan before the exam day and even though there were separate accommodations for boys and girls, we always found a reason to hang out under a tree in the compound where we lodged and when U.J told me on the second night that she liked me, I felt like wetting my pants. We kissed and did a good deal of touching that night and it was a most memorable experience. It was so easy to forget about Beesla and her poems and I enjoyed that passionate moment with U.J. Somehow though, I knew it wasn’t going to last. She was just too beautiful for me and she was just like a piece of bone many bigger and stronger dogs out there were waiting to devour. As for me, I couldn’t compete with such dogs so I simply enjoyed the experience for the short while it lasted.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’s TRIP!

On a lighter note now, I would love to congratulate our Muslim brothers and sisters (especially the bloggers) on the Sallah celebrations. Thanks guys for giving me the opportunity to have two days off from work. I've been eating a lot of meat all day and I'm scared I might lose some teeth. Now, these are my wisdom teeth we're talking about. Abeg o! Take care people and God bless.

EPISODE 4 – THE VICE OF TEENAGE PROMISCUITY

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 18:43:00 +0000

The heart of man is naturally inclined to certain dirty acts. ‘Naturally’ here would imply the total absence of willpower on the part of the person in question. I remember the very first time I heard about ‘puberty.’ I must have been about nine years old or thereabout and I remember stumbling on the word in one of BD’s integrated science notebooks. The word sounded pretty catchy and on further probing, I got to understand what it meant. I understood puberty for boys meant a deeper voice, development of pubic hair in the armpit and ‘down there’ and stuff like that and somehow, I could hardly wait to get to that stage. On much more further probing I got to know that I wouldn’t get to that stage till I was about twelve or thirteen! I discovered I had a long wait coming.

For me, growing up was fun to an extent, (at least my first nine years before my parents’ separation) and I did all those things children did – the sand and stone games, the hide-and-seek and the ‘daddy and mummy’ game. Actually, the last one was my favourite especially because I always got to play Daddy all the time and my first childhood crush, Tosin always got to play Mummy. I must have been about five or six then but I already knew what it felt like to be attracted to a girl. (Yes I was attracted to Tosin like hell!). In fact, I had begun to have erections sometimes and so when I read about the puberty thing, I wondered if one of the signs of puberty was the possibility to have erections. I guess I was wrong especially because of what little kids of nowadays do, all in the name of playing silly games. Like I said earlier, the heart (regardless of age now) is naturally inclined to. . . well, you know the rest. Well, let’s go back to the real story.

I finally succumbed to Chief’s advice and enrolled for the JAMB/UME classes in March 2003. By this time, Dorothy, the house maid cum part time sexual partner had been ‘fired’ by my step-mom Cyan and I had to live with a step-cousin who saw smoking as his only reason for existence. On the smoking thing, it felt like fun on the first day like I said in the last episode and you can imagine Emma’s joy on seeing me smoke. It was similar to the joy of an evangelist who had succeeded in winning a soul for the kingdom, only in this case my step-cousin was the smoking evangelist who had won a new soul for the smokers’ kingdom. However, just like the new convert in the Christian race usually gets bored after a while (except by the grace of God), I began to get bored with smoking, especially since my chain-smoking step-cousin always wanted me to accompany him all the time whenever he went on his smoking sprees. Sometimes, we sneaked to smoke like five times a day! It was that bad and it was at this point I decided I couldn’t live like that. All the while, I smoked just for the fun of it and not because I enjoyed it but it appeared Emma was determined to further integrate me into this new type of race. Soon, he got tired and decided to let me be. In fact, before long he was on his way back to the U.K.

In between attending my coaching classes, I longed for the sexual feel again, especially since I had gotten so used to the act with Dorothy. At seventeen, I was still pretty shy and I had never asked a girl out before so getting laid seemed to be an impossible task. I decided to improvise and resorted to peeking through the bathroom key hole whenever Elfy and Liz were having their baths and usually, I got an eyeful. It was more like live pornography and only God knows how I managed not to ever get caught while indulging in such dirty acts. I never got caught peeking but I got caught doing something much more degrading (well maybe not) and this time it was Chief himself who caught me. When I remember this experience, I often laugh to myself. On that fateful day, I had sneaked into my dad’s personal drawer; one drawer in the living room he kept permanently locked. Somehow, Chief had forgotten to lock up and my eyes caught the keys hanging right on the lock. I decided to check out what my old man had been hiding forever in that sacred drawer and on checking, I discovered some movies, not just movies now – pornographic movies. There was quite a good number. I was shell-shocked and while I was trying to recover from the shock, I heard someone right behind me and I turned hastily to find myself staring at my dad. I thought I would collapse at that moment. . . . . . . . . TO BE CONTINUED.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’s TRIP!

EPISODE 3 – A STEP-COUSIN AND A MAID

jaxmine07@yahoo.com (Geebee) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 19:17:00 +0000

Dorothy was just your typical Akwa Ibom girl. Every society in Nigeria seems to have its peculiarities. Just like the Northern Nigerian has an undying love for his cattle and a killer temper to go with it; Just like the Ibo man has an undeniable affection for his container and his money and just like the Ijebu man has a flair for his amala and gbegiri soup, the Calabar/Akwa Ibom people, especially the women have their own passion too. No disrespect meant here but I’ve often heard that the women from these parts have a huge sexual appetite. Over time I have come to accept this fact, especially since I’ve experienced this reality over and over again. In fact, it is constantly affirmed that the most popular girls in brothels are those from Akwa Ibom and Calabar and other locations within these areas. Little wonder most guys in the NYSC scheme pray to be posted to these areas (I have prayed such prayers too in the past!)

By the end of January 2003, I had begun to get pretty bored with Lagos too and I wondered where I could escape to this time around. All my moves at getting into University with my 2002 JAMB/UME result proved abortive, especially since I scored 207 and I intended studying Economics in Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife. Now at that time, this seemed like a pipe dream. The cut-off point for Economics at Ife was 271 and that meant I was a good 65 marks short. It was pretty obvious I would never be admitted to study Economics in O.A.U but at this time I didn’t care what I was offered to study at O.A.U. I was even ready to study Yoruba Language if that’s what the school offered me. All I wanted was to leave home and get into University. I needed to get something doing with my life. Chief suggested that I take another JAMB/UME but I wasn’t hearing any of it especially because I had such strong faith that my 2002 JAMB/UME result where I made 207 would still work for me. While I waited for O.A.U to come out with their admission lists, I passed the time watching movies on DSTV and local channels and enjoying the attention from Dorothy, the Akwa Ibom maid living with us. Initially I had paid no attention to this girl especially because I considered it absurd to have feelings for a girl who was supposed to be working in my house. As the days passed, I constantly found myself alone in the big house with Dorothy after dad and Cyan, his wife were off to their respective engagements, Liz to her place of primary assignment in the NYSC scheme and Elfy to her job scouting. I had no option but to talk to this maid and I found her quite interesting, maybe because I really needed someone to talk to. Dorothy was a little older than me (she claimed she was twenty at the time) and she was always sexually explicit in her conversations. I could practically say she was leading me on and it was so easy to fall for her advances. In fact, I wanted to fall and fall I did.

The first time was a little strange, especially because of my lack of experience in sexual matters. At the time, my only sexual experiences were the first one I had back in 2000 and a few more daring escapades in brothels, so with Dorothy, the whole experience felt anew. In fact it felt like losing my virginity all over again. It would be an understatement to call Dorothy ‘good.’ She was a diva in bed and we enjoyed the whole experience while it lasted, no strings attached. Sadly, by March 2003, Dorothy had to leave. I don’t know what exactly happened but it appeared Cyan had gotten tired of her and needed someone new. By this time, it had become obvious that O.A.U wasn’t going to offer me anything and I decided to take chief’s advice and I enrolled for the JAMB/UME coaching in preparation for the JAMB/UME examination in April ending. The centre proved to be a different and happy world away from the boredom of living with Chief, Cyan and her nieces. I made new friends and even had girls trying to get my attention. It felt like fun and I watched on as more chapters opened in my life.

Shortly before I enrolled for the coaching classes, another relative of Cyan’s came around. This time, it was a nephew and his name was Emma. He was based in the U.K and had been there all his life. At nineteen, Emma looked handsome and quite tall. He even had beards on his chin while my chin at the time was as smooth as an egg (my pubic hair was hardly full enough in fact!). He was in Lagos to spend a few weeks and he had to share my room with me so naturally we had to talk. We eased the boredom by taking strolls to Alpha Beach which was just a stone throw from my place and on one of those days I did something I never ever thought I’d ever do. Now, Emma was a chain smoker who would rather smoke than eat and somehow I could hardly understand what made smoking so important to this new step-cousin of mine.
“Gbenga, why don’t you smoke?” Emma had asked me on that fateful day as we strolled on the sea shore watching the giant waves run up the shore and back. The question had hit me like a bag of bricks.
“Smoke? Of course not!” I had replied irritated. “Why would I want to do a thing like that? It kills for crying out loud!”
The lanky guy had simply smiled and to my surprise, he produced a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one. After inhaling and exhaling, he spoke.
“It does not kill. I’ve been smoking since I was thirteen and I’m not dead. Anyway, don’t tell Aunt Cyan, okay,” he said.
“Sure.” I said, watching him in awe and wondering what it actually felt like to smoke. Actually that was the first time I’d seen someone so close to me smoke.
“Try one. It won’t hurt.” Emma said and offered me the pack.
Without hesitating, I pulled out a stick from the pack and he lit it for me. I inhaled and exhaled and to my surprise I didn’t choke. On the contrary, the experience felt good. Before we left the beach on that day, I had smoked no less than six sticks of cigarettes. In fact, we returned home that evening without a stick of cigarette left in the packet.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’s TRIP!