EPISODE 30 – A TIME TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

Before I begin, I’d like to inform y’all that this blog has been nominated for BEST PERSONAL BLOG on the Nigerian Blog Awards. Now, that certainly thrills me. I was nominated in three categories of the awards last year but failed to win in any. Annoying, right? You bet! I remember I was just a relatively new blogger then and was nominated alongside some heavyweights so it was so easy not to win. lol. Let’s hope things turn out differently this time and that’s only gonna happen if y’all VOTE FOR ME. So go ahead and vote THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES for BEST PERSONAL BLOG by clicking HERE. Voting begins on May 31 so be sure to pop in and vote for your boy. Thank you. On that note, let’s begin Episode 30 of THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

Life sometimes throws a painful reality in our faces and that happens to be the fact that the things we desire most just somehow elude us. It could be that coveted position, that plum job, that business deal or whatever. On a more personal level, it could be the fact that a girl you so much desire happens to be with another man or the other way round. These things hurt real bad but the irony of life is that they just seem destined to always happen even to the very best of us.

I met ST by sheer coincidence during the period I was contemplating leaving BG. It was at a party during the Christmas season of 2005. She was not exceptionally pretty but she had a good height and a nice figure, one that would make any guy look twice, well except the guy was blind or gay. ST was the chic all the guys wanted to groove with on the dance floor and I couldn’t help nodding and smiling to myself as I watched the girl have fun and get a good dose of attention from the guys. Of course there were other girls at the party but somehow she happened to be the type who felt more comfortable with the guys. At a point in the party, she came to sit beside me, panting heavily. I noticed she was quite exhausted.
“You’re really something,” I remarked.
“Yeah, I love dancing” she said. “Besides, I’ve not partied for a good while.”
I simply smiled and took another swig from my beer, wondering if going into much conversation with her would be a good idea. I really did not want to seem to her like all the other guys in the house fighting for her attention.
“Lord, I’m thirsty” she said looking around for any of the waiters.
“I don’t think this would help” I offered, showing her the bottle in my hand in an attempt at humour.
She frowned. “Nah, I don’t drink, especially not Stout”
“I see” I said. “It’s actually medicinal. You should try it sometime.”
Fortunately, she got a pack of juice from a passing waiter and drank a good deal of its content before setting the pack down with a deep sigh. “Now, that’s better.”

We sat in silence for a while, watching the party rock.
“Don’t you dance?” she asked at last.
I had hardly expected such a question. “I do but the dance floor over there looks a little too rough” I explained. “I prefer the smooth stuff.”
“Really? That’s unusual” she remarked.
“Just kidding” I said. “But really, I prefer a less-crowded dance floor”
We spoke for sometime and danced together as well. For the rest of the party, we had a good deal of conversation and to my greatest surprise she ignored every other guy who tried to get her attention. I wondered if I had not attracted unnecessary 'beef' from the guys by suddenly taking her away from them. ST did not seem bothered however as she stuck with me. I felt pretty lucky but I did not see the possibility of anything serious happening between us. I never really like girls who were used to so much attention from guys and ST definitely fit that bill.

Over the next few weeks, we began to talk on phone once a while. Our chats were usually interesting and I realized I enjoyed talking to her. We never brought romance into our discussions. In fact, I never bothered to ask her if she was in a relationship and she never bothered to ask me either. I discovered that I felt more comfortable that way even though I also found myself wondering if this girl had a thing for me or was just out to have a good time with a new guy. We never saw each other until about four months later and she actually told me she would love to visit me. At this point, I realized ST was interested in me and I had to admit to myself that I was glad that was the case. On her first visit, I played the perfect host, making her as comfortable as possible. That day, I realized there was a strong chemistry between us but I decided to keep things simple. It was a pretty difficult situation to handle especially considering the fact that she was practically flashing me her ‘green lights’ but I knew I would not want to get serious with her and I thought it best not to take advantage of her.

About a week later, she called me up and said she would love to visit me again. I agreed and this time, I knew it would be hard to resist her. I was right. Despite my efforts to play the perfect host once more, the sexual tension was evident and by the time I held and kissed her, she did not give the slightest resistance. We made love right there and while we lay in bed after the lovemaking, my thoughts went to BG who had told me she was ‘finally ready’ a few days earlier. I had a strong feeling it would be better if I let ST know I was in a serious relationship just so that she could totally push off any ideas of anything serious going on between us. I didn’t mind having flings but I could not be involved in more than one serious relationship at a time, especially considering the fact that I was just twenty.
“ST, I must tell you something” I began.
“What is it?” she said, still lying on my chest.
“I am in a relationship” I said. “I just thought I’d let you know.”
She shot me a furious look and without a word, got up and headed for my bathroom where she locked herself up and had a good cry. I stood at the door all the while, pleading with her. I explained that I had never thought we would go this far and things had happened so fast.

After she left, I wondered if it would have been better to keep quiet and not tell her about my relationship. However, I had decided to be truthful and as it appeared, I had hurt her by being truthful. I had become very fond of ST but I believed I owed it to her to be honest and that was what I had done. My friends hardly helped my dilemma when I related the story to them. They accused me of being foolish and not behaving like the player that I was. At a point, their words began to make sense. Perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut and let nature run its course. Besides, how was I sure ST gave a damn if I was in a relationship or not? I realized I had spoilt everything by opening my mouth and sometimes I still wonder how things would have gone with ST had I kept my mouth shut. As they say, what you don’t know can’t kill you.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

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EPISODE 29 – ALMOST DOESN’T COUNT (OR DOES IT?)

I’d bet you have heard this line a million times or more. In fact, a female RnB act actually did a song on this sometime ago. Was it Brandy or so? Remind me if you know for sure. Now, imagine a scenario where you are a hundred percent sure you’d get something or reach a particular destination and at the last minute or just when you’re so close, some unfortunate twist of fate spoils everything and renders all your efforts futile. I wonder what could hurt more.

In light of the above, I’m tempted to excite my football senses and those of similar soccer fans (Eddee, what’s up?) and speak on the English Premiership and how Chelsea FC clinched the crown in style last Sunday. Let’s imagine somehow by a twist of fate they had drawn that last match against Wigan. Manchester United who had been so close on their heels, trailing by a single point for a good while would have easily snatched the title on the very last day of the league courtesy of their win over Stoke City. What would we have said then? “Oh, Chelsea almost got the title” but then, they would have settled for a most undeserving second place and all they would have gotten was the sympathy of their fans but not the much deserved title so I want to believe that truly, ‘almost’ doesn’t count. Meanwhile, Barcelona and Real Madrid are in a very similar situation and let’s see if we would have to say ‘almost’ when the Spanish La Liga ends this weekend. Enough of soccer said.

Now, relate this to the a ‘Who wants to be a Millionaire’ Nigerian franchise scenario where the guy on the hot seat is a question away from ten million naira. Okay, let’s be more realistic, say five million. Say what? Yeah, I know some guy won the whole ten million naira once but trust me, such things happen only once in a lifetime so forget that one. Now, our man already has two million naira in the bag courtesy of having answered the 13th question correctly and he is about to answer the 14th question that would fetch him a cool five million and probably take him further closer to the jackpot, and somehow he’s not sure of the answer and has previously used all his life lines. However, he decides to take the gamble, perhaps due to greed or the prompting of what he thinks was the Holy Spirit speaking in his mind. He goes for one of the options and Frank Edoho goes like:
“Is that your final answer?” with that stupid smile he usually has on his face.

Our man ponders for a while, bites his fingers a little, runs the same fingers through his greasy hair and bites them again. Disgusting, right? Yeah, I know but trust me, in the ‘Who wants to be a Millionaire’ hot seat you’d probably do something worse like picking your nose and licking up what comes out of it absent-mindedly.
“I think it’s B but my mind tells me it is C” our man says as though Frank would tell him the answer or the answer would come to him by the verbal expression of his thoughts.
“You have no lifelines left” Frank says, “and if you choose the wrong answer you go back to N250,000. You could walk away with two million.”
Our man wants to walk away but cannot resist the urge of trying. Like hell, five million naira (or ten million for that matter) sounds a whole lot better than two million. Besides, he’s got an inkling; a strong conviction in his spirit that he is going to walk away with ten million naira that day. Have a little faith, brother, he tells himself.
“I’ll go with C” he says in a defiant voice.
“Final answer?” Frank asks.
“Final answer” our man says, his voice not too convincing.

Frank looks at the man and it’s obvious he admires the man’s courage (or stupidity as the case may be) and smiles again. “Mr. Man,” he begins. “Option D was not the correct answer.” He pauses for effect, and then continues. “If you had chosen Option B, you would have been wrong.” The man heaves a deep sigh of relief and mutters an inaudible ‘Thank you Lord’. The members of the audience shift in their seats nervously as though they would have a share of the man’s eventual winnings.

Frank continues “The answer to the question is . . . We’ll now take a commercial break.” Sounds of “Awww” spread through the seated audience and of course the viewers at home. To cut the long story short, the commercial break ends and the show comes back on air only for Frank Edoho to inform the contestant that the correct answer was Option A and not C, thus sending our man falling from a comfortable N2 million to N250,000. WTF! But he almost won N2 million, at least he had gotten to N2 million and could have walked away. Thus, he almost walked away with N2 million but actually left the stage with N250,000. Almost doesn’t count. Now, let’s return to THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

By February 2006, BG and I were still involved. I had resolved to push away the idea of finally having sex with her and taking away her virginity. For crying out loud, the thought of it was beginning to make me cringe. I had never slept with a virgin in my previous twenty years and I had previously heard stories that it was a nasty experience and there was always a lot of pain and bloodshed (Pardon me, bleeding) involved and I was one who really hated inflicting pain or the sight of blood for that matter. However, I was sure BG was bound to give in to me sooner or later. That confidence had been further boosted after she had actually offered ‘it’ to me a few months before. I had declined back then because I realized she wanted to give in to me out of fear of losing me and it made me feel selfish. My maturity actually paid of eventually as she finally decided she was ready by February, not on my prompting but of her own volition. I couldn’t have been happier. But one hurdle remained. I had not ever slept with a virgin and thoughts of stories I had heard on the experience made me wish she could get rid of her virginity some other way and come back to serve me the ‘sweeter experience’.

The D-day finally came and we got booked into a small hotel. I felt my house (father’s house actually) would have been the wrong place to carry out such an act and I wanted all the privacy we could get. Simon’s house was an option but BG refused that option. We had all the preliminaries, talked, laughed but when it came down to the real thing, it turned out to be probably the worst ordeal. You don’t need the details but the truth of the matter was, as much as I tried on that day, I could not get in. I was ALMOST THERE! In reminiscence, I probably should have tried some other way (don’t bother asking, pervert! lol) but then, that’s where experience comes in. She could probably have helped matters but she was by far the most inexperienced in such activities and it further stressed her level of innocence, the one thing that continued to get me frustrated and at the same time attracted to her. In the end, we gave up, our clothes soaking wet from the perspiration our bodies had generated in the process of trying to break a ‘virgin wall’.

I realized I would have no choice but to continue waiting for her to be ‘fully’ ready and in the interim, I had a few flings but never intended for any to be overly serious. It was in the process that I met ST, a girl I still remember with a fondness till date.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

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EPISODE 28 – MUCH ADO ABOUT VIRGINITY

New Followers of this Series could begin at Episode 24 - Recap

The Catholics seem to have an infatuation with the Virgin Mary and I sometimes find myself wondering whom they reverence more – The Son of God himself, Jesus Christ or his mother, the Virgin Mary. Whichever way the answer goes, it is an indisputable fact that the mother of Jesus Christ (often times referred to as ‘Mother of God’) is held in the highest esteem by those who profess the Catholic faith. I have often wondered what made Mary so special. Was it the fact that she conceived our Lord? Possibly. But then, anyone could have been chosen by God to carry His Son and that would have made Mary just like every other woman in the Bible. Then, was Mary special because she believed the Angel Gabriel who brought the news and totally surrendered herself to God’s will? Maybe. But then, any other woman could have believed the Angel and become the mother of our Saviour. So what makes Mary indeed special? Have you ever considered that it could be as a result of her virginity as at the time of her conception? Now, I think I’d like to go with that. Our Lord, Jesus Christ was conceived in the fresh womb of a woman who had never had carnal knowledge of a man. Why did God not choose just any woman or some woman with one or two kids to carry His Son? God chose Mary, thereby further stressing the sacredness of virginity.



From time immemorial, there has always been a strong reference attached to virginity and it dates back to Bible times and probably beyond. It was always every man’s desire to marry a young maiden, as virgins were called at the time. In fact, in some portions of the Bible, maidens who had been defiled before marriage were recommended to be put to death. In Africa, traditional sacrifices have been made (and still are) with virgins. I have also heard that in Islam, it is believed that any man who dies in the cause of jihad (Holy War against the infidels) would be rewarded in Al-Jana (Heaven) with seven virgins or something like that. Now that sounds funny, right? How many guys like virgins today? I know I don’t. lol. All these theories go a long way to prove the sacredness of virginity. However, the key point to note here is that the virginity in question has to do with the females and not the males, so I wonder if that implies that young men are free to defile themselves at any point in their lives without necessarily feeling like they have committed an offense deserving of death. Well, I wouldn’t know.

The aforesaid only shows how things should be or had always been. However today, it is a totally different story. The theory of the sacred virgin has been totally displaced like a pack of cards. In fact, it is almost a taboo to still be a virgin at a certain ages thus girls in their late teens or twenties who still find themselves with their virginity intact have come to be ashamed of something they really should be proud of. How hilarious! The Sacredness of Virginity has now become a thing of the past! At least, that is what I discovered a good number of years ago.

I lost my virginity (that’s if guys really could be called virgins) at a rather early stage to a much older girl. I was about fifteen then. Sometimes memories of the experience still make me smile and sigh at the same time. One thing I took from that experience however was the instant surge of desire in me to always want to indulge in sexual activity even though I never had the opportunity to try again for a good while after my first experience. I also began to feel inclined to indulge in a few more vices I probably would never have attempted. Now, I wonder if losing my ‘virginity’ was responsible for opening the doors to vices I began to indulge in. lol. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been if I had remained sexually inexperienced till date (I heard there are men like that! Wao!). Would I have been a better person? Maybe. The years rolled by and I had relationships, some sexual, some non-sexual and as I grew, my confidence grew and so did the sexual experiences. Fast forward to 2005 and my relationship with BG, my virgin girlfriend.


UJ’s sudden exit from my life had me left with no choice but to return to BG and I was more determined to deal with the virginity thing once and for all. I had read a good number of romance novels and magazines and practically convinced myself that a romantic relationship devoid of sexual activity was stupid and meaningless, a theory I tried ceaselessly to sell to BG. She however seemed resolute on her stand to keep her virginity till her wedding night. I could hardly understand what any nineteen year old girl would still be doing as a virgin when her peers were busy having all the fun in the world. I thought of breaking up with her on many occasions but rescinded on the decision especially because I did not want to repeat what my friend Sam had done. At a point however, I decided to damn my considerations and tell her to either give in to my request or watch me walk away. While I pondered on the thought, BG made the most unexpected request. On that fateful day she told me she was ready.
“Are you serious?” I asked, feeling butterflies in my tummy.
“Yes” she said, smiling.

I was not convinced. “What influenced this decision?” I probed further.
She shrugged and looked away from me. “I guess I love you too much to lose you.”
Those words crushed my heart and I felt like a greedy animal. I realized I would be taking undue advantage of her by allowing her give herself to me before she was ready.
“Geebee, do you see us ever getting married?” she asked suddenly.
I had to think for a good while before answering. She really didn’t seem like my dream girl. I had always envisaged my future wife as a tall (BG was 5’2 while I was 6’1), beautiful (BG was okay but scored 60% as far as beauty was concerned in my books which wasn’t really a bad score but then, you know . . .), academically smart (BG was on the average), heroine in bed (BG was none of that) and above all, a book lover and a writer (BG never gave a hoot about books).
“It’s possible” I heard myself say, “but marriage is the last thing on my mind right now.” I was twenty and believed I still had ten years to go.
We remained silent for a good while until I decided to relieve the tension. “Look, let’s just forget about the sex thing for now, okay” I said, meaning it.
“But you want it” BG said, and I saw the sincerity in her eyes, making me feel all the more guilty.
“Yes but I guess the time’s not right” I said, surprising myself.
We kissed passionately right then and I realized I really did care about this girl. Sex could wait for all I cared at that moment as I convinced myself that we would manage. We did not have to wait for too long. Fast forward to February 2006.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

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