Friday, November 9, 2012


I have never been a fan of horror movies. My dislike for this movie genre has nothing to do with the fear of the horrific scenes like the spilling of guts and intestines in movies like Scream and Saw or the heart-rending accident scenes in Final Destination 4 and all the other insane and gory scenes typical of horror movies. No, I fear none of these, although I have to admit, I would not like to have a nightmare where I visualize such scenes. I’ll definitely jump from my bed screaming ‘Blood of Jesus!’. LOL. The only positive thing I can take away from horror movies, and that’s if it could really be classified as positive now would be the adrenaline rush and anticipation of the next action, especially in those that are well scripted. The heartbeat accelerates at a speed that well exceeds the regular heart rate.

Imagine a scene where a teenage girl whose parents have gone on a two-day cruise is alone in a big house and after a nice movie, a pack of cookies and glass of juice, she goes upstairs to her room and before long, she falls asleep. Then, late into the night (of course, the time is displayed as 2.17 a.m), she is awoken by a loud thunderstorm. She realizes it had been raining and hurries to lock up her windows because of the extremely cold breeze coming through. It stops raining after a little while but she finds out she is unable to fall asleep again. Angrily, she comes downstairs again hoping to continue her movie and maybe eat some more cookies and have another glass of juice. As she approaches the last few steps on the stairway, she hears a loud creak. She shudders and pauses for a moment. Then, she shrugs and moves towards the area the sounds seemed to emanate from. She hears the creak again and she realizes the sound is from the basement door. Yes, THE BASEMENT DOOR! That’s where it usually happens, right? Her heart begins to accelerate as she moves closer and as she gets to the door, she turns the knob and . . .

At this point, your heartbeat would probably be beating faster than that of the girl on the screen. Why? Of course, it’s because of the excitement and anticipation of what’s going to happen next. Would she find a monster in there? Would it be a burglar who had broken in? Or would it be a rat? You can’t just help the enthusiasm and adrenaline rush . . . and that’s the beautiful thing about horror movies. Now, what was the point of all that gist? Before you begin to crucify me for ending the story ‘just like that’, I should stress that I was only trying to explain how it feels to take a dangerous step and the panic and trepidation that usually accompany it. LOL.

As I sat in the bus with Cher, I had a million thoughts racing through my head. I looked at my watch. It was already past nine o’clock and I knew it would only take a miracle for us to arrive at my place within an hour and that night hardly seemed like a night when miracles could happen. In fact, the day had been painted with disaster right from the start and it could only get worse. How was Cher going to leave my place at about 10.30pm (assuming we were lucky enough to get to my place and retrieve her folder by then) and begin another two-hour trip back to her place? I was very angry but still, I knew better than letting my anger allow me risk the life of my proposed sister-in-law cum partner-in-crime cum seductress-of-the-day! When my phone rang, I wished I could scream the roof off! I didn’t need to look at the screen to know who it was. I looked at Cher and the look on her face was one of sobriety this time! What? Was this really Cher? I wondered. The sober look was so genuine that I had to peer a little closer to confirm that she was the one I was actually looking at?
“It’s BG.” I said in the voice of a man who had just been told he was going to be castrated.
“I’m so sorry about this, Geebee” Cher said and I could have sworn she was sincere.
The phone was still ringing and a few passengers in the bus seated around me began to flash me questioning looks. My ringtone was Usher’s ‘Yeah’ and it really didn’t seem to be helping matters. I could not cut the call otherwise BG would have a fit wherever she was. It was safer to pretend that I could not answer the phone for some reason.
“You’re sorry?” I echoed Cher’s words. Then, I smiled the smile of a man who had been told to take heart because it was only one of his balls that would be removed and not both.
“I don’t know what to tell her.” I told Cher. “Would you talk to her?”
She shook her head and I almost had a fit. What! She had put me in this mess and she was leaving me to fight the battle all alone!

Apparently, her phone was still turned off otherwise BG would have called her as well. Immediately, I wished I had turned mine off as well but I quickly had a rethink. It would definitely have made things worse. Cher was officially the most annoying bitch ever as far as I was concerned at that moment. She had me so seriously cornered. The phone stopped ringing and I hoped BG would give it a rest but no sooner had the wish crossed my mind than Usher’s ‘Yeah’ erupted again.
“Bros does your phone have Bluetooth?” some dude seated about two seats to my left asked. I flashed him a blank look, my head hardly processing what he had asked me.
“I was hoping you could send me that song,” he added, stretching his phone towards me. I decided it would be unfair to vent my frustration on this guy and deny him the chance of having the top hiphop jam of May 2007 on his phone as well. I collected his phone and noticed he had already switched on the Bluetooth. Had it been a different day, I would have gladly pimped his phone with a lot of music, videos and pictures! My phone was still ringing and I sighed and received the call.
“Hello BG.” I said, masking the frustration I was feeling as strongly as I could.
“Hey Geebee dear. What’s wrong now? I’ve been trying to reach you. You were not picking up. Is Cher on her way home? Her phone is still switched off…”
“Something came up.” I said calmly. “Cher left her folder at my place.”
“Wow!” BG said. “I’m so sorry about this. Would you be able to bring it for her tomorrow?”
I sighed. “Yes I thought as much but she said she has to submit it tomorrow morning so she’s going back with me to get it.”
“What?” BG said in obvious shock. “At this time?”
I decided I had said just about enough and it was time to pass the baton. “Talk to her” I said into the receiver and passed the phone to Cher.

The conversation she had with her sister lasted for almost ten minutes and over the background I could hear BG’s angry rants. It was more than obvious she was not comfortable with the fact that Cher was still with me at that time. It was almost ten p.m and we were still a good distance away from my place. I watched in amusement as Cher tried to explain herself in the best way she could amid BG’s angry outbursts.
“Please, we’ll call you back. We’re in a public bus.” Cher said finally and ended the call. She was fuming as she handed the phone back to me. I did not bother to ask her what had transpired on phone. I had hardly settled to do the music transfer to my fellow passenger’s phone when my phone rang again. It was BG.
“Please don’t pick that call.” Cher said.
I looked at her unbelievably and ignoring her, I received the call.
“Hello BG” I said.
“Geebee, look I know what you both are trying to do.” BG lashed out angrily at me.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, hardly believing what I was hearing.
She ignored my question and continued her verbal attack. “I know my sister and I know what she can do and I know you are not that innocent yourself. You had better just ask her to come down from the bus and start coming home now! She must not go with you or else . . .”
“Or else what?” I cut in angrily without thinking.
I was furious! Who the hell did BG think she was to threaten me that way? I did not give a fart about whatever she and her sister had between them but I would not allow her insult me for no reason.
“Geebee, are you asking me ‘or else what?’” she asked, her tone registering total shock at my retort.
I simply hissed and ended the call. I was embarrassed to notice that I had attracted some attention to myself. Some of the passengers were now staring at me curiously that I had to hold back from yelling at them to get their faces off me.
“I told you not to take that call.” Cher whispered.
I looked at her and wished I could strangle her at that moment or throw her out the window of the moving bus. She noticed my livid countenance and immediately muttered an apology. Perhaps, she had seen a monstrous look on my face at that moment. I had barely composed myself when my phone rang again. I almost swore at Usher and his blasted song right then. Immediately, I cut the call and proceeded to totally turn off the phone.
I turned and sighed as I noticed the Usher fan who had given me his phone to ‘pimp’.
“Sorry, I have turned my phone off.” I said, as I passed his phone back to him. I was not in the least bothered about his disappointment. He could as well go and purchase the song from vendors for all I cared.

I did not utter one word to Cher for the rest of the journey, when we alighted at the bus stop and all through the short walk to my place. When I got to my doorstep, it was about a quarter to eleven. At the bus stop, I had noticed that only a few buses seemed to be going in the opposite direction. I knew it would be difficult for Cher to get back home that night but I wasn’t about to show any soft side to someone who had made me have one of the worst days ever. At that moment, I was so sure our pact and partnership in the Yahoo-Yahoo business was over. I just wanted her out of my life for good! She was nothing but trouble. I unlocked my front door, went in and headed straight to the bathroom. I heard Cher come in and seconds later, I heard the front door shut. I waited for a few seconds before coming out. I noticed she had picked her folder and left. My heart went out to her. I knew it was going to be difficult for her to get transportation back to her place at that time and in spite of how mad I was at her, my soft side won me over and I walked out of the house and headed towards the bus stop.

I caught up with her at the bus stop and called her. She seemed surprised to see me and I noticed she had been weeping. All my anger disappeared in an instant.
“Let’s go.” I said.
“Where?” she asked.
“Back to my place. It’s quite late and I don’t think it’s safe for you to go back at this time. You can leave as early as five a.m tomorrow.”
“No, don’t worry Geebee. I’ll be fine. I’ve caused you enough trouble as it is. Let me just go.”
We were at the bus stop for another quarter of an hour as I tried to persuade her to return with me. Meanwhile, only two buses passed by in that period and none of them were headed her way. Eventually, she agreed and we went back to my place.

As we approached my house, I turned on my phone and about four messages from BG flooded my phone. In it, she fired at me all manner of invectives, calling me myriads of unprintable names. I was too tired to get angry at that moment. I simply turned the phone off once more.
An hour later, I was lying on the rug in a corner of my room, leaving the bed for Cher. I was almost asleep when I heard sounds in the room. It was pitch black in the room, thanks to the power cut. I sat up and listened. The sounds were coming from the bed. It was muffled sounds, as of one weeping. I sighed and approached the bed in slow steps. I felt like the girl about to open the basement door in the horror movie. Right then, my heart began to beat furiously . . .


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