Sunday, September 21, 2014


Hey guys. I am Meph. Oh, you haven’t heard the name before. Yeah, I know. It’s not your everyday name and no, it’s not a short form for Memphis. God! That name reminds me of Egypt (not that I’ve ever been there anyway. Lol). Well, Meph is a short form for Mephibosheth and please, don’t even get started on that now and you may please close your mouth now before some fly finds its way into it. I guess by now, you see why I choose to go with Meph. The full name is definitely a jawbreaker, right? Well, it ain’t my fault. Blame it on my dad or perhaps my grandpa or whoever thought of such a name for me when I was born.

Did I tell you I am a prince? I know it sounds unbelieveable. Kinda like when Lisa found out that Akeem was a prince. What was that movie again????? Yeah, 'Coming to America'. Like really? Who would look at me with my ugly face and lame feet and all and even think in that direction. Hmmm, indeed man looks at the outward appearance. Only the Lord looks beyond all that. I bet you my godfather, King David would agree with that again and again. Seriously, I’m a prince or at least so I was told. Well, technically, my dad, Jonathan should have been king after his dad, that is, my granddad who was actually a king. Oh, finally you figured it out. My granddad was King Saul, the first king of Israel and my dad, Jonathan was the crown prince but somehow he didn’t quite become king by a strange turn of events obviously orchestrated by the Almighty God. However, I don’t think that robs me of my position as a prince or do you? Well, that’s your problem. I’m a prince so you can call me Prince Meph if you choose.

Let me talk about my background for a while. I never actually really knew my dad, Jonathan. In fact, I was barely five years old when he died. I still have a vague memory of him though. I learnt he used to come in once a while to check on me and my mum who I can hardly remember as well. I was told dad was a very busy man and was usually away with Grandpa attending to official national business. I learnt dad was never really interested in becoming king someday much to grandpa’s chagrin. Of course what would you expect? Even I would have been so pissed. Whoever turns down an opportunity to be the king of Israel? Well, that’s my dad for you. Strange dude, right? Yeah I know.

Anyways, I understand dad had his reasons for not being keen on being king. For some reason, dad felt his best friend, David would be a better king. Now, that still baffles me till this very day and I’ll tell you why. David and my dad became best friends by a strange twist of fate. There had been a time when some terrorist called Goliath came along with the army of Philistia to threaten our country and no one dared fight this man. I understand he was about ten feet tall and so huge. Now, who would dare fight such a man? I know I wouldn’t. However, David was not like the rest of the people. He was just a skinny kid back then and from one of the poorest families in the city. In fact, I understand he was just an ordinary shepherd boy. A freaking nobody! To everyone’s greatest surprise, he actually killed Goliath with an ordinary sling and stone. It was overwhelming and that day, my dad fell in love. Hey, no, I didn’t say he was gay. Of course if he was, I wouldn’t have been born so banish the thought.

David’s feat was unprecedented and so he became so popular and everyone wanted a piece of this guy. Grandpa didn’t like the idea that some little kid was becoming more popular than him and he decided to get rid of him at all cost and that was where his issues with my dad, his son began. Dad loved David so much like a brother and was determined to ensure Grandpa never hurt him. I heard they even made a covenant to love one another for ever and protect each other’s families. At some point, David had to run for his life and Granddad actually got so obsessed with this that he and thousands of his men set out searching for David to kill him. Now, that’s another code I’m yet to crack. I mean, the king left his duties as king to go after one single man. Well, I guess my granddad was another strange dude. I heard that he had an evil spirit from the Lord tormenting him and making him do ridiculous stuff. Sometime later, the guys from Philistia came to fight against my country and it was in this war that grandpa, my dad and three of my uncles were killed. It was some serious massacre as I learnt.

By this time, Grandpa had become so unpopular in Israel that everyone wanted to wipe out his entire family. My uncle Ishbosheth was the only surviving legitimate son and soon, he was killed too by his own servants. Crazy world, I know. As it stood, I was the only one left; a five year old kid who didn’t even know jack about what was going on; yet people were after my life. Beats me too! My nanny took me and together we escaped. As we made our flight, I fell and broke my legs. We fled to some ghetto called Lodebar where I grew up away from the eyes of those who sought to kill me. Little did anyone know that I was a prince and had as much right to the throne as David, who had become king shortly after I arrived at Lodebar.

I got to go now. Next time, I’ll tell you guys how I was eventually found out and how some soldiers stormed Lodebar and took me back to Israel to face what could easily be my worst nightmare!