Tuesday, February 22, 2011

EPISODE 39 – NO WHERE TO RUN

The last episode of GEEBEE’S TRIP was posted on this page about over five months ago, precisely on 1st September 2010. At that time, it never occurred to me for a split second that the next episode would take another five months but then, you know. . . Truth is, I had to throw myself into other stuff – a new business I had to nurture, a new apartment I had to get settled in, a book I’ve been working on for some time etc. Somehow, the zeal to continue the series just seemed to disappear into some place I don’t know. Thankfully, this post is here and coincidentally, the last episode stopped at the point where the first season of the series would have stopped when it becomes adapted for television in the near future. Oh yes! Plans are in the works to make this a television series in the near future. You just wait for it! Is that supposed to be a call for sponsorship considerations? Well, maybe. lol. I’m glad I’m doing this again and I hope this time, I hang around for much longer in this series. I appreciate those of you who have kept faith with this series nonetheless. I wouldn't want to mention names but you guys know yourselves. Thanks a bunch! Meanwhile, have I said ‘Happy New year!’? Yeah, I know it’s belated by miles but then, it sure doesn’t hurt to wish you all a wonderful year and drop a few lines of prayer, as has been my custom for a good while now:

In this year two-thousand-and-eleven
May you on earth experience Heaven
And with this opportunity you’ve been given
May you excel greatly in the land of the living


Amen!

I’m sure at one time or the other, you’ve watched a movie where someone at a point of death gets saved by a sheer act of Providence. Consider a scenario where a man facing a firing squad and already tied to the stakes suddenly gets freed by a superior order from above. Imagine a man dangling from the hangman’s noose suddenly having the rope slashed a few seconds away from losing his last breath. Now, those are miracles and that’s what I could call what happened to me on that fateful night when I had decided to end it all. I had simply decided to take the coward’s way out and quit trying to be a courageous gladiator in the arena.

As I lay down to sleep, I was convinced that I would wake up somewhere other than on this planet. There were two possibilities of destination. The first one that came to mind was Hell. I saw this as a possibility because suicide was supposed to be a sin and hence, taking my own life with poison was an act that would give me an express ticket to Hell fire. On the other hand, I thought Heaven was also a possible destination because in my own opinion, I was sacrificing my own life to ensure that BG and the unborn child were not rejected by my family. This was likely going to happen because of the grief my death would have caused and obviously the child that would be born would have been a form of consolation. I even imagined the child being named Geebee Junior to keep the memory of me alive. However, in the deepest recesses of my heart, I knew I was actually trying to take my own life not because I cared so much about BG and the baby but simply because I couldn’t bear to face the shame I was bound to face as a result of the situation. In one last attempt to ensure I arrived at a most desirable destination – Heaven – I said a word of prayer (of course after I had taken the poison), confessing my sins and committing those I was about to leave behind into God’s hands. In between the prayers, I fell asleep hoping that my last action had somehow bought me a ticket to Heaven.

When I woke up, I was temporarily blinded by a ray of light projecting though the open windows. Gradually, my memory returned and for a second, I believed I was indeed in Heaven and in the presence of God. After all, Hell was a place of darkness and this was clearly something totally different. Almost immediately, my mobile phone rang, jolting me back to reality. I instantly recognized my room and everything in it. I was not dead; I was not in Heaven but I was alive and in the flesh. There was however a throbbing pain in my head that almost made me dizzy. I reached for the phone and the screen revealed that BG was calling. I sighed, wondering what in hell had happened and why I was still alive.
“Hello” I said into the mouthpiece after accepting the call.
“Hi Geebee,” BG said, the tone of her voice still registering frustration and every other bad feeling. “Did you just wake up?”
“Yea – yeah,” I said, stuttering, my glance resting on the clock on my bedside table. It was almost ten o’clock.
“Hmmm, so you mean you could actually sleep through all this. I couldn’t sleep all through the night, you know.”
I felt guilty for a second and wished I could tell her that I should not even be talking to her. I should have died during the night. Again, I wondered why things had not gone the way I had thought.
“Don’t worry. It’s gonna be okay.” I heard myself say. “How are you feeling?”
“Worried!” she said, much to my chagrin. I bit my lip. If things had gone right, my phone should have rung endlessly with my lifeless body unable to receive the call.
“I’ll call you later, okay.” I said, as I ran out of words to say. I decided I had to process what had just happened to me or perhaps what had not happened.

As I hung up, I remained on my bed for a good while. Why was I still alive? I wondered. Was the ‘otapiapia’ not poisonous? I had heard it was lethal when ingested so why had it not worked on me? Had I not taken it? I asked myself, surprised at my own thoughts. I remembered clearly I had swallowed up all the contents. To assure myself, I looked under the bed and the bottle lay there empty. I was not crazy, I decided. I had drunk up the poison but here was I, feeling perfectly okay, except for the headache. Was that supposed to be a symptom that the poison was beginning to take effect or was I just having a stupid hangover from the heavy dose of liquor I had taken the previous night? Was it possible that the booze I had taken had rendered the poison powerless or was the poison was going to work later in the day, perhaps? Should I go get some more of the poison to drink? I cringed at the thought. Somehow I had lost the nerve to try again and in fact I didn’t feel like dying anymore. I broke down and wept profusely. By the end of that day, the poison had still not taken effect and in fact I was sure nothing of such was going to happen. It was clear there was no running away from this. I was going to face the music whether I like it or not. I examined my options. Option 1: Handle it alone and keep my folks out of it for as long as I could. Option 2: Inform my parents of the situation.

I thought about the first option. Could I handle the situation alone? I was barely twenty-two and still in school. My dad paid my school fees and still gave me pocket money. I made some extra bucks from working as a private home tutor and writing for a magazine but there was no way in hell I would be able to take care of BG and the pregnancy on my own? Even if I did, how about when the baby came? Where was she going to live by the way? In my little room, along with me and my two roommates? I would go mad before long, I realized. The second option hardly seemed better. How was I going to break the news to my parents? Mom and Dad had been separated for almost thirteen years and thus, it was impossible to inform them of the situation jointly. Who was I to notify of the situation first? Telling my mom first was going to be difficult. The woman was an epitome of godliness, a minister in church and the situation in itself was a slap on her position. The church would probably sanction her for having a son who had gotten a girl pregnant. I could not imagine the consequences. My dad was a whole different idea. My brothers and I feared the man to no end and in fact had never been close. How then was I supposed to inform him that I had gotten a girl pregnant? He would probably kill me, I decided. I instantly ruled him out of the picture. I decided I would inform my mum and see what happened next. Again, I wondered why I was still alive.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES

Reactions: