Wednesday, May 23, 2012


If there is any spiritual gift I seriously crave for, it is the gift of prophecy; the ability to be able to see or predict the future. Now, I don’t mean predictions that don’t come true or those that come true in parts, leaving people skeptical on whether a prediction was actually truly inspired or was just guesswork. For instance, I know of some preachers in my nation who have made predictions (or prophecies) on a lot of issues ranging from ‘being instructed by God to run for political positions’ to things that would happen in the economy, the death of political figures etc. Unfortunately, so many of these predictions never came true and I’m forced to wonder if indeed the ‘gifts of prophecy’ these men were supposed to possess had somehow gone soft or something.

Recently, it was alleged that another preacher predicted the outcome of the final of the Champions League match. I watched that match and I honestly have to admit that I was ready to laugh at the prophecy once the game was over. Reason: From all indications during that game, it hardly looked like the prediction would come true. The team that was foreseen as the winner was seriously outplayed and they were at a disadvantage by all standards – going into the game, during the game and even during the resulting penalty shootout – but alas, the prophecy/prediction came true and I’ve been in awe ever since.

Now, I’m not implying that the alleged prophecy/prediction makes the preacher a superman or something but that feat actually got him trending on Twitter for two days in a row and I laughed my butt out at the numerous posts that were hash tagged with this preacher’s identity and the funny questions that were thrown at him regarding events that would happen in the future. The reactions were further influenced by the fact that this man had once predicted that the national team wouldn’t make it to the Nations Cup and indeed they did not. Now, with these prophetic achievements, why won’t people literally make this man the Nigerian version of Nostradamus? I have begun to wish I could be Geebeestradamus and indeed see the future and all that would happen. If only I could see the future, I would take advantage of a lot of situations and likewise avoid a lot more. Life would be perfect! I’ll keep praying anyway and maybe I’ll get my wish someday.

The phenomenon called regret comes about when sometime in the future we wish we had taken or not taken certain actions. If we had an idea of what would happen if we did some things, we would know better to do or not do a lot of things. Unfortunately, life is not meant to be that way so we are stuck with making our decisions guided by our personal experiences or those of others among other factors. Usually, we have a voice in our heads that either propels us to do some things or warns us against it. The strength of that voice is usually a function of the personality of the individual and while it is highly active in some people, it is inactive in others. Usually, every time we disobey that voice, it gets weaker and ultimately loses its effect. I believe that voice could be sometimes referred to as our conscience.

As much as the voice in my head warned me against venturing into the Yahoo-Yahoo business, I constantly resisted and tried to justify my actions and before long, the voice hardly mattered to me. In fact it was barely audible to my spiritual ears. I was deeply involved now and things were beginning to look up. With five magas and counting, prospective ones in the works, a new partner and more prospects I was yet to actualize, I could not imagine quitting at that stage. I had since decided I would not do it forever but I was not as convinced about that resolve as I was at inception. However, with my firing of Nuel as my partner and Cher’s entry, things took a totally different dimension and if indeed I could see the future, I would have simply held on to Nuel or better still, quit the business altogether. It was a wrong way of life, anyway! Like I didn’t know!

I had only met Cher on about three occasions and spoken with her on phone prior to the commencement of our partnership so naturally, I felt a little clumsy around her for many reasons. One, she was my pregnant girlfriend’s sister. Two, she was quite breathtaking in her own way. Of course, I had met more beautiful girls but Cher had a confidence about her in her carriage and speech that seemed to accentuate her beauty. Three, she had a serious attitude problem. Unfortunately, as much as I would have loved to put her where she belonged with a good deal of tongue-lashing, I couldn’t. I figured BG and I owed her. She, it was who had lent her moral support while we attempted to terminate the pregnancy even though I had to overlook her irritating behaviour all the while. Furthermore, she had been the one who broke the story to her eldest sister and saved BG the stress of having to do it herself. One way or the other, we owed her and I was sure she was the kind of lady who wouldn’t hesitate to rub that fact in. Four, she was four years older than I was and that fact made me understand that it would be difficult to relate with her just as a partner. There would be a number of issues I would have to bear with and I would have to maintain an extra measure of calmness with her.

As promised, within a week, I had the drivers’ license ready with her picture and the cover-up name I had been using for my magas. I was to be the brain and ‘fingers’ of the business empire and she was to be the face and voice. I was amused at Cher’s excitement when I visited the house and gave her the ID.
“Wow! This is cool. So, I’m officially AY now, right? BG, check this out!”
BG collected the ID and surveyed it.
“I wish I wasn’t in this condition.” She said, referring to her bulging tummy. “I would have been the one in this ID.”
I smiled. “If you weren’t in this condition, this ID would never have existed in the first place.” I said sarcastically.

We laughed and while BG and Cher chatted away, I sat in silence and allowed my gaze to stray to the bulging tummy. The pregnancy was closing on six months and again, I was reminded I was going to become a father in another three months. I would have traded everything to be spared of that eventuality – even my ‘business empire’! I had been praying secretly that a miscarriage of some sort would happen but nothing of such was yet to happen.
“So what’s the first mission, Geebee dear?” Cher said, interrupting my thoughts.
I hesitated before responding. “Well, I chatted with Dean yesterday and promised to give him my phone details tonight.”
“That would be my number, right?” she asked.
“Yes. It’s going to be your number but not your regular phone number.”

I reached into my pocket and brought out a sim pack.
“Here, I got you a new line. You’ll only use it to receive his calls and any other calls from any future magas.
Magas?” BG asked.
I was about to explain when Cher cut in. “Those are the fools we are going to be duping, silly!”
I winced. She never had to make it sound so bad, I mentally noted.
“Or am I wrong?” she probed, lightly poking me in the side. “You’re right” I said.
“So I’m going to give you updates whenever I chat with whoever is going to call you just so you know how to respond on phone.”
“Wow, this is gonna be so cool. I can’t wait.”
“Meanwhile, we have some money to go and pick up now. That’s why I brought the license anyway.”
One of my latest magas, Prakash, an Indian in U.K had sent me £100 the previous day.
“Can I come with you guys?” BG asked morosely.
“Are you sure you want to come?” I asked after a moment of hesitation.
She nodded. “I’m bored here. I just want to go out with you. Nobody knows me around here anyway.”
I sighed and was about to speak when Cher cut in.
“No way. If she’s coming with us like this, then I’m not going anywhere.” She said pointedly.
By ‘this’, she meant BG’s protruding tummy. I was too stunned to speak.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” BG lashed at her sister. “If not for this pregnancy, do you think we would even need you for anything?”
“Oh really? Okay, fine then! I quit!”
To my utmost shock, she threw the license at me and stormed out of the living room.
“Yes! Get out! We don’t need you.” BG screamed after her angrily.

I picked up the license and relaxed in the chair. I sighed and closed my eyes for a while. What the hell was going on? I wondered.
“So what do we do now?” I said after a few minutes.
“She’s too full of herself.” BG lashed out.
“But we need her, you know.”
“I don’t care!”
I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to curse her for putting me in such a situation. I wanted to tell her that if not for her pregnancy, I wouldn’t even have thought about going into the damned illegal business! I wanted to tell her to go to hell along with her sisters and her entire family! I wanted to go into the room after Cher, beat her silly and storm out of the house! I wanted to do so many things but I didn’t.

Thirty minutes later, the three of us were on our way to a nearby bank that had Western Union Money Transfer facilities. I had been able to pacify the two sisters and Cher had grudgingly accepted that BG accompanied us. Cher had asked to come along with me to the café the next day so she could ‘experience the action firsthand’ and I agreed. BG did not ask to come along this time and I was glad to avoid another sisterly scuffle. As we entered the banking hall, I wondered if bringing Cher into the business was the right thing to do. Unfortunately, I had no powers to see the future and had to rely on the passage of time to know for sure.