Tuesday, October 9, 2012


The mobile phone suddenly felt very hot in my hand. I looked from the screen to Cher. The look on her face was unflinching. This had to be some crazy dream, I thought to myself. No one could ever be this daring. What in God’s name was this girl up to? The phone was still ringing in my hand and I knew I had to receive the call. The question however was, what would I say? Would it be okay for me to simply tell BG that her sister was already in my place and risk the pregnant girl having a fit or would it be wise if I just played along and hid the truth of Cher’s presence from her? The she-devil herself had told me the ball was in my court. She seemed to be so sure I would play along with her and I was so furious and wished I could strangle her.

“So are you going to pick the call or not?” she asked, a wicked smile forming on her lips.
I hated her so much at that moment and decided I would give her the shock of her life. I punched the ‘Accept’ button on my phone and put the phone to my ear.
“Hey BG, what’s up?” I said in the calmest tone I could muster.
“Hey baby,” she responded. “Who’s there with you?”
I froze. That was a most absurd question. Did BG know Cher was there with me? Had Cher called BG earlier to tell her she was on her way to my place? But if she had, why had she told her on the phone a few minutes before that she was still at her friend’s? Was Cher trying to mess with my head? Perhaps, BG was in on it and they were both trying to test me to see if I was faithful. Faithful, my ass! Who gave a damn about faithfulness? What right did BG have to try and test me that way? For crying out loud, I was still struggling to come to terms with the reality that I was going to be a father at twenty two and I was not even sure I was willing to be committed to her. I was only still sticking with her because she was pregnant for me. She had no right! Neither did Cher. They had to have screws loosed from their heads if they were actually messing with me in this manner.

But wait, what if that wasn’t the case? What if it was my mind actually doing triple jumps and pole vaults? But then, what was Cher doing here? It was all so confusing . . . and annoyingly frustrating.
“Hello are you there?” BG’s voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry what were you saying?”
“Nothing much. I just wanted to say hello to any of your room mates or friends there. Is any of them around? I’m sure you guys are probably playing Chess or smoking pot as usual.”
I suppressed a deep sigh of relief. “You’re very funny,” I said calmly. “I’m just chilling. Simon went home over the weekend and Bala’s gone to work.”
“Ehyea, so you’re all alone. I wish I was there with you.”
I laughed again. “Yes indeed. With your bulging tummy, right?” I teased.
“Abi o. Anyway, I hope you’ll come around tomorrow or next.”
“Hmmm, I’ll try.”

I was feeling much more composed now. My gaze wandered to Cher and I noticed she was seated comfortably on the bed in the corner of the room reading one of my magazines. Again, I wondered if BG was aware she was with me.
“So I spoke with Cher a few minutes ago. . .” BG continued.
My heartbeat accelerated. “Oh really?” I managed.
“Yeah.  She said she’s still at her friend’s but she’s not too sure if she’d still come to your place this afternoon.”
Actually, the crazy lady is already here and I hope you guys are not playing any games with me. If I find out you are, I’ll be so pissed!” my mind said.
“Alright then, whatever she decides is fine. I’ll be heading to the café by four anyway.”
“Ok then baby. Take care. Talk to you later. I love you!”
“Alright. Take care.”
BG knew that right from the outset, I usually never bothered to echo the ‘I love you’ words but she always said them anyway.

I ended the call and turned to face Cher. She looked up from her magazine and clapped her hands with an annoying smile on her face.
“Awesome performance!” she said. “I almost believed you would mess up.”
I sighed. “Cher, what’s really going on?” I said trying hard to suppress my anger.
“Nothing” she said innocently. “I was bored and thought I’d come and spend some time with you. That’s all.”
“But this is not right, you know. If BG finds out, she’ll not . . .”
“Are you going to tell her? Of course you wouldn’t. Otherwise, you’d have told her when you spoke earlier on.”
“And what makes you think I won’t tell her when I see her?” I said, smiling confidently.
She shrugged. “I dare you.”
I was amused. BG had always told me her immediate elder sister, Cher was the black sheep of the family, stubborn and very weird and I was beginning to experience the truth in those words firsthand.
“Geebee, relax jor!” she said lightly. “I’m not going to eat you or something now.”
“Of course you wouldn’t.”
“So why the unnecessary excitement? I don’t see anything wrong with being friends with my sister’s boyfriend. It’s not as if we’re having sex or something?”
All the composure I had gathered in the last few minutes disappeared instantly. I swallowed saliva.
“Or do you have such plans?” she added with a wink.
I suddenly found it hard to breathe. “Look Cher. I’m not feeling comfortable with this. Let’s just go to the café right now.”
Cher laughed. “Hmmm, my brother-in-law to be is scared of me. La la la la la la!” she said in a sing-song voice.
I had to laugh.
“Whatever!” I said dismissively. “Let’s go now.”
“But it’s barely one o’clock. Won’t it be too early?”
Of course it would! And you should have thought about that before coming here to terrorize me!” my mind said.
“Well, we could hang out somewhere close to the café then till four.”
“Good idea.”

Thirty minutes later we were at a bar close a little distance from the café. Before long, I was really enjoying Cher’s company. Suddenly she did not seem like the big bad she-wolf anymore. She was just a girl who was out to have fun. I wondered why I had allowed so much unnecessary thoughts cross my mind earlier and I cringed. Obviously, I was the one with the dirty mind. We chatted about a lot of things and I discovered she was an interesting and brilliant person as well. I had to admit she was miles beyond BG in terms of exposure, intellect and composure. She was indeed the kind of girl I would have wanted to have but I knew there was no way in hell I could allow that happen. She was my girlfriend’s sister after all. Besides, she was a good four years older than I was even though she hardly looked that old. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves that we overshot the time and did not get to the café until almost six o’clock. I advised her that she returned home because of the time and we could go to the café together some other time but she declined.

At about six-thirty, I was chatting with one of my magas with Cher by my side when my phone rang. Again it was BG.
“Hey baby” I said.
“Geebee, I’ve been trying to reach Cher for some time now. Her phone is turned off. I called her friend, Joy and she said she had not seen Cher today. Is she there with you?”
I thought my heart would explode at that moment. I knew there was trouble!