Tuesday, October 2, 2012


Have you ever heard voices in your head? Have you ever being cock-sure of being alone in a room and suddenly heard voices that sound so real, right in the same room? The thing however is that, you actually sense that the voices don’t come from around you but from within you. 


Now, before you begin to picture a scene from some old horror movie like The Devil’s Advocate, you should understand that this is an experience that is as common as salt and happens to the very best of us on a daily basis, so in answer to the original question, yes, I have heard voices in my head and I am very sure you have too. Please, take a brief pause for a few seconds to take in all you’ve just read . . . Now, can you hear those voices in your head? Hmm, I bet you can. 

From birth, in every one of us is embedded the knowledge of good and evil and as we grow out of infancy, this knowledge becomes clearer and informs the larger percentage of the choices we make. We get used to rules, laws, guidelines and the expectations our immediate societies impose on us and try to conform and in this process; we easily know what the right or the wrong decisions are. Whenever we do or are about to do the right thing, we always know and feel a sort of calmness inside. On the other hand, whenever we are about to do a wrong thing, something usually stirs up inside of us – an alarm goes off; a voice screams in our heads, a warning signal of some sort; attempting to stop us from taking that step. Some people call it ‘conscience’. The fact remains though, that we are never constrained to obey that voice. We always retain the power of choice.

As soon as Cher stepped into my room, I could hear the voices in my head. No, scratch that! The voices began right from the minute she called me and told me she was on her way to my place. Then, it was a tiny whisper. When BG called me and told me Cher was visiting a friend and would stop at my place later on, I tried to process the two information sources and find a correlation. Why would Cher tell her sister she was going to check on someone else when she was actually on her way to my place? Right then, the voices became more audible. It was no longer a whisper; it was actually a few decibels higher. When she called me and told me she was at the bus stop, I could almost hear the clanging of cymbals. The warning signals were getting pretty stronger.
“Don’t go and pick her. Stay right where you are!” the first voice said.
“But she’s already at the bus stop” a second voice appealed.
“So?” the first voice asked. “She doesn’t know your place, does she?”
“No, she doesn’t. But what would you tell her later on? Standing her up wouldn’t be polite.” The second voice countered.
“Turn off your phone! Make up an excuse later on.” The first voice said dismissively.
I sighed. This was crazy. I agreed with the second voice. For crying out loud, what was I scared of? Nothing could possibly happen between Cher and me. She was my girlfriend’s sister for crying out loud! No, not just my girlfriend; my pregnant girlfriend!
So, on wooden legs, I proceeded to the bus stop to fetch Cher. The voices in my head had subsided to my utmost relief.

Her words brought me back to earth.
“Pardon?” I asked stupidly.
“I said you have some nice music collection here” Cher said, loafing through my CDs. Actually, the CDs she was holding weren’t mine. They were my roommate, Simon’s. It was a CD collection of female pop starts like Shakira, Jojo, Jennifer Lopez and other female pop stars of 2007. I hated that kind of music and I never hid my disgust for them. I had told Simon a million times such stuff made him look gay! I preferred Rap and hiphop music and right below the collections Cher had in her hands were CD albums from Eminem, Tupac, Nas, JayZ, Twista, Kanye West and other albums from rappers. Those were the sort of music I believed big boys should listen to and I always told Simon that. However, since Cher seemed to like what she saw, there was no point telling her they were not mine.
“Yeah, I’m glad you do.” I said.
She dropped the CDs and came closer. I swallowed saliva and this time around, I could hear trumpet sounds in my head. I had never been a shy person and so my lack of composure was irritating the hell out of me but I could hardly help it. This lady was tormenting me in my own house. I opened my mouth to say something when her phone rang. I sighed as I watched her reach into her bag. The truth was, I really had no idea of what I was going to say so technically, the phone call saved me.

She retrieved her phone and stared at the screen for a second. She flashed me a look and crossed her lips with her index finger.
“It’s BG” she said in a whisper. I swallowed saliva again and I must have taken in enough to nearly make me choke.
“Hey lil sis” Cher said casually into the receiver, her focus still on me while she listened to the conversation on the other end.
“I’m still at Joy’s. I should be leaving in another two hours or thereabout.”
I wanted to scream! What? Joy’s house? What the hell was this crazy lady doing? She was standing right in front of me and lying to her sister – my pregnant girlfriend – that she was still at her friend’s place! Now, I realized I was officially in soup.
“No probs. I’ll call him when I’m about setting out. In fact I’m wondering maybe I should just come back home. Joy’s wearing me out with so much gist and I’m thinking I should just come back home and see Geebee tomorrow.”

There was another pause as she listened. Her gaze left mine and I managed to sit down. My legs were no longer mine. My head was on fire, thanks to the voices which had now become a mad karaoke session in my head!
“Alright sis. I’ll see how it goes. Take care.”
She ended the call and looked at me, smiling.
“What in God’s name was that, Cher?” I asked, trying hard to control my anger.
“What?” she asked innocently.
“You just told your sister you are in your friend’s place.”
“Yes I did.”
“Nothing. I just didn’t want her to know I was here yet. I’m not supposed to be here till about five p.m and it’s still kinda early.”
“So why didn’t you just tell her you were here already or better still, why didn’t you just go to your friend’s place like you had told her you would.”
“Well, I did. Joy wasn’t home so I just thought I’d come over so we could have a lot of time together.”

I knew she was lying! I knew she never went to her friend’s but I didn’t push it. But wait a minute! What had I heard? Did I hear her say she wanted us to ‘HAVE A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER?”
The words jumped at me.
“Hold on a second. Did you just . . .”
My phone rang. I retrieved it from my pocket and looked at the screen. It was BG. I looked at Cher and sighed in frustration.
“BG right?” she asked.
I nodded.
She shrugged. “Well, the ball is in your court. You know what to do.”
The voices screamed in my head this time!