Thursday, September 20, 2012


Hey folks,
Wow! It's been another long while! I know I've not been the best example of a blogger like I hoped to be this year but then, you know . . . Anyways, I've decided to drop in again and this time, I hope for a good while. The series continues with a repeat 'broadcast' of the last episode. Episode 54 would be here shortly. Enjoy!

Back in my early school years, I did Social Studies as a subject and a most popular topic in the subject that no one who ever passed through basic education could ever forget would be ‘The Family’. I understood the family concept early enough and the types – Nuclear and Extended. While the nuclear family concept was quite easily understandable, it took a little extra effort in understanding some of the terms used in the extended family concept.

For a while, I continued mixing up the terms nephew, niece and cousin. In fact, I believed for a long time that nephew was a feminine term and niece was a masculine term. Today, I have a daughter who happens to be older than my cousin who is my aunt’s daughter. Now, what would this cousin of mine be to my daughter? Her cousin-aunt? Someone said my daughter would be better referred to as her second cousin and she would be a little aunt to my daughter. Now, my knowledge of Social Studies never included terms like second cousin or little aunt. Besides, why would you be older than your little aunt? It sounds ridiculous to me. Perhaps, you could suggest a more appropriate term.

The concept of extended family also accommodates the inclusion of in-laws – people who become related by the fact that some people decide to get hooked. Imagine some random person you do not know from Adam becoming related to you because someone you happen to be related to decided to get married to someone that person happens to be related to. Pretty annoying, right? You bet. Research has shown that only one in every five married men have a good relationship with their in-laws. For the wives, it is worse as only one in every eight married women enjoy a good relationship with their in-laws. In fact, most people would prefer to live their lives as a nuclear family unit without any relationship whatsoever with in-laws.

BG’s pregnancy and the fact that I had accepted responsibility was the first step in throwing me in the much hated in-law mix. I had no choice but to meet her sisters and ultimately, the deal had been sealed when my mum had come down to meet them. I had automatically become related to BG’s people. It only had to become official. Cher had technically become my sister-in-law and she was indeed one in-law I would have gladly done without. Almost immediately after bringing her into my business as my partner, I regretted the decision. This was further reinforced when I observed to my greatest shock her display when her pregnant sister had asked to accompany us to the bank to claim some maga money. However, my hands were tied. She was in and I realized I had to simply tread carefully. Besides, she was technically my sister-in-law, more like partner-in-law.

As agreed, she was at my place three days later. We were to begin the first phase of her induction as she had put it. I was surprised when I received her call around noon on that day.
“Hey Geebee dear. I’m on my way now. Are you home?” she said from her end.
I hesitated before responding. “Yeah, but I thought you were going to come much later. Is it not too early for you?”
“Well, I’m already on my way. Should I turn back?” she responded rudely.
“No, it’s alright. You can come,” I said weakly. “Let me know once you arrive at the bus stop so I’ll come get you.”

I ended the call and sighed in frustration. I had not expected her until around five o’clock in the evening. I had planned to simply meet her at the bus stop and together we would go straight to the café. I had not even wanted her to come to my place. However, as things stood, I didn’t have a choice. It was rather too early to go to the café and I had no rapport with her to the extent where I would have suggested we go somewhere to while away the time until evening. Apparently, I was stuck! My phone rang again, interrupting my thoughts. It was BG.

“Hello BG,” I said into the mouthpiece.
“Hey baby. What’s up? Where are you?”
“I’m home,” I said, wondering why she was asking me where I was. 
“Okay. Anyway Cher said she’ll be coming to your place later so you guys would go to the café.”
I scoffed. That was old news. Almost immediately, something she had said caught my attention.
“I thought she was on her way,” I said.
“No, she said she was going to see a friend and do some stuff before coming to your end later.”
I instantly found it difficult to breathe. I wanted to tell BG that her sister had just called me to inform me that she was on her way but on second thought, I decided to keep quiet.
“Okay, no problem.” I said.
“Alright baby. Please call me when you guys are together, okay,”

I thought about calling Cher immediately to verify what I had just heard from her sister. Perhaps, I had misunderstood her earlier. She had probably meant she was on her way out and would see me later. I was in this fix for another fifteen minutes until my phone rang again. It was Cher. She informed me that she was at my bus stop. What was happening here? I asked myself. Whatever was going on, I didn’t like it one bit, I told myself as I hurriedly cleaned up the room. I left for the bus stop to pick her with myriads of thoughts assaulting my mind.

About ten minutes later, I was unlocking my front door with Cher behind me. It took an eternity to fit the key into the lock and I hoped she had not observed my lack of composure.
“So, you’re welcome. Please make yourself comfortable,” I said, trying as much as possible to stay calm.
“Thanks,” she said, dropping her bag and sitting in the ‘lazy boy’ I had in a corner of the room. “Wow, this is nice.”
I looked at my watch. It was just past one o’clock. How was I supposed to sit with this lady for another four hours without falling apart like a pack of cards? I thought. I reminded myself that I was a big boy who had girls at his beck and call. This wouldn’t be the first time I had a lady in my apartment. In fact, I had spent the previous night with one so why in hell was I feeling like jelly? Cher was just like any other girl. There was no big deal about her! I corrected myself almost immediately. She wasn’t like just any other girl. She was hot; she was intimidating; she had an annoying attitude; she was my pregnant girlfriend’s sister and she was in the same room with me without her sister’s knowledge! Now, that was a peculiar situation!

I jumped! It was Cher. Apparently, she had been talking to me while I was miles away in thought.
“Sorry, you were saying?” I asked foolishly, instantly hating myself.
“Where were you, mister?” she said, getting up and walking towards me.
I felt I would choke on my saliva as she got to where I stood but to my greatest surprise, she passed beside me and reached for a magazine on the TV stand.
“Wow! So you read GQ magazine too. Is this the latest edition?”
I heaved a sigh and looked at my watch again. It was barely five minutes since I had last checked it. This was going to be the longest four hours of my life, I realized.