Have you ever heard the term
‘quicksand’? Imagine being trapped and every attempt to get out gets you
further trapped. I learnt that quicksand is something you should never struggle
with and the more you try to get out of it, the faster you get caught in it.
For the purpose of this post, I checked Wikipedia and learnt further that
quicksand forms in saturated loose sands when the sand is suddenly agitated.
When water in the sand cannot escape, it creates liquefied soil that loses
strength and cannot support weight. They are mostly found inland (on
riverbanks, near lakes or in marshes) or near the coast.
The funny thing is you never actually
know quicksand from mere sight as it appears to be solid when undisturbed. It
is until you find yourself in it you realize what a mess you’re in and
annoyingly, you find yourself practically stuck not because you’re frozen or
immobilized but because any action on your part to get yourself out of it gets
you further trapped in. So, technically, it becomes safer to stay still. Talk
of choosing the frying pan instead of the fire or picking the lesser of two
evils. Now, that’s one experience you
shouldn’t pray to have but that’s what it felt like after the incident with
Cher, my pregnant girlfriend’s sister.
After Cher’s departure that morning, I
had the opportunity to really think about all I had done, more like what we had
done. The implications were dire as it were. I felt like Macbeth who had
murdered sleep and indeed I knew I had. I had called BG immediately and we made
up.
“Hey baby!” she said as soon as she
picked the call. “I’m so glad you called at last. I’ve been so worried and I
hardly slept throughout the night.”
I swallowed saliva. She had been worried
and full of guilt over her outburst while I had been eating the forbidden fruit
with her sister. A deep pang of guilt forcefully hit me afresh.
“I’m
so sorry. I just don’t know what came over me. I promise it would never happen
again. Hope you’ve forgiven me.”
“It’s alright baby,” I managed. “I
understand. In your condition, you would be prone to overreacting over the
smallest of issues.”
“Yeah I know but it’s no excuse and I’m
sorry again. Please forgive me.”
I winced. Her pleas were driving me
insane especially considering the fact that it should have actually been me
pleading with her to forgive me for what I had done.
I was thrown into a deep valley of decision. I
thought of simply confessing my sins and telling her what I had done and escaping
from the guilt that was trying hard to kill me. I dismissed the thought
promptly. It would be a suicidal act, not necessarily for me but BG was bound
to go berserk on hearing such news and only God knew what extent she could go
as a result. No, that was too big a risk, I decided. I would simply have to
keep my mouth shut this time. I would simply have to play along and allow BG keep
believing she was the one who had offended me.
“You called Cher . . .?” I said before
I could stop myself.
“Yeah I had to apologize to her as well
for the accusations. She said she spent the night at your place . . .”
My heart stopped. What in God’s name
had Cher done?
BG was still talking. “Thanks for your
consideration. Cher said you had to sleep on the floor so she could use the
bed. That’s so thoughtful of you, Geebee.”
I suppressed a grateful sigh. Cher was
simply a mistress of deception and I had to admit to myself that I was
in awe. I unsuccessfully tried to imagine what Cher could have said to convince
BG into trusting us so easily after her earlier suspicion. I ended the call
feeling like the weight on my shoulders had been miraculously lifted.
Two
days later, Cher was at my place again. It was different this time around
because BG was aware and in total support. I was uncomfortable with the idea
but Cher had told me on phone a day before that it was best we kept up the act.
“Geebee,
what’s up?” she had said cheerfully after I received her call.
“I’m
good.” I said, maintaining my composure as best as I could.
“We
need to talk” she said.
I
was silent for a moment trying hard to process her words.
“Are
you there?” she asked.
“Yes
I’m here and no, I don’t think it’s a good idea that we see.” I responded bravely.
“Look
Geebee, we both agree what happened between us was a mistake but remember we
had plans before then. We can’t just throw all that away.”
She
had a point. She was supposed to be a partner in my little ‘enterprise’ but as
it were, I couldn’t trust her not to push me to the limits again and I couldn’t
trust myself either not to fall again. In fact, I was too sure I would fall
once more if ever we got together again.
“Besides,
BG believes we are making moves already. If we break it off suddenly, don’t you
think she’d smell a rat? Geebee, please I need this opportunity and as soon as
you can teach me all I need to know, I’ll be out of your hair.”
True
to her words, she kept things strictly business this time around and in less
than ten minutes, we were off to the café. The evening turned out to be a very
productive one and we penned down two good deals from existing magas and secured prospective ones. Her
face on the webcam proved to be impressive to the magas and while I chatted with them, her ideas were a welcome
contribution. By the end of that evening, I was no longer reluctant to have her
around. By the end of that week, she had claimed about three Western Union transfers
on my behalf. I took her and BG shopping and we all had so much fun together.
It was almost as though nothing wrong ever happened between us some days before.
Before
long, I began to confide very much in Cher and she in me. I told her about my
plans for life, my frustrations with BG’s pregnancy and how I never actually loved
her enough to want to marry her. She was so easy to talk to and at a point I
knew we were becoming too close for comfort but this time, I didn’t seem to
mind and neither did she. It was almost inevitable that we would go down the
same wrong road we had gone previously and when it happened again, there was
hardly any guilt. We simply decided we would keep things as discreet as
possible and give BG no reason to suspect anything. I knew it was crazy but it
was like I had become trapped in quicksand. I decided I was not going to
struggle with it anymore because the more I tried to struggle, the deeper I
would find myself sinking. It was safer to stay still until I got help whenever
it came.
SEE
YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.
I read a book during the week and I have to admit it's the most unique book I've read this year (and I've read quite a number). Seun Odukoya's 'For Days and a Night' is one book you won't stop reading for a second once you begin until you're done. I can guarantee that because it happened to me! Seun is a fantastic writer (one of the guys I look up to, in fact but he claims he's just trying. lol) and he's also a blogger on Wordpress. The beautiful thing about it is you can download it for FREE! Yes, you heard! Click HERE to download.
Then, please check out my friend, Salemcity's new track, Paradise. It's a song that's best described with its name. It's a song that would take you to Paradise literally. Click HERE to download.
Thanks folks. Have a lovely Christmas celebration!
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