EPISODE 60 - QUICKSAND!

Have you ever heard the term ‘quicksand’? Imagine being trapped and every attempt to get out gets you further trapped. I learnt that quicksand is something you should never struggle with and the more you try to get out of it, the faster you get caught in it. For the purpose of this post, I checked Wikipedia and learnt further that quicksand forms in saturated loose sands when the sand is suddenly agitated. When water in the sand cannot escape, it creates liquefied soil that loses strength and cannot support weight. They are mostly found inland (on riverbanks, near lakes or in marshes) or near the coast.

The funny thing is you never actually know quicksand from mere sight as it appears to be solid when undisturbed. It is until you find yourself in it you realize what a mess you’re in and annoyingly, you find yourself practically stuck not because you’re frozen or immobilized but because any action on your part to get yourself out of it gets you further trapped in. So, technically, it becomes safer to stay still. Talk of choosing the frying pan instead of the fire or picking the lesser of two evils.  Now, that’s one experience you shouldn’t pray to have but that’s what it felt like after the incident with Cher, my pregnant girlfriend’s sister.

Source

After Cher’s departure that morning, I had the opportunity to really think about all I had done, more like what we had done. The implications were dire as it were. I felt like Macbeth who had murdered sleep and indeed I knew I had. I had called BG immediately and we made up.

“Hey baby!” she said as soon as she picked the call. “I’m so glad you called at last. I’ve been so worried and I hardly slept throughout the night.”

I swallowed saliva. She had been worried and full of guilt over her outburst while I had been eating the forbidden fruit with her sister. A deep pang of guilt forcefully hit me afresh.

 “I’m so sorry. I just don’t know what came over me. I promise it would never happen again. Hope you’ve forgiven me.”

“It’s alright baby,” I managed. “I understand. In your condition, you would be prone to overreacting over the smallest of issues.”

“Yeah I know but it’s no excuse and I’m sorry again. Please forgive me.”

I winced. Her pleas were driving me insane especially considering the fact that it should have actually been me pleading with her to forgive me for what I had done.

 I was thrown into a deep valley of decision. I thought of simply confessing my sins and telling her what I had done and escaping from the guilt that was trying hard to kill me. I dismissed the thought promptly. It would be a suicidal act, not necessarily for me but BG was bound to go berserk on hearing such news and only God knew what extent she could go as a result. No, that was too big a risk, I decided. I would simply have to keep my mouth shut this time. I would simply have to play along and allow BG keep believing she was the one who had offended me.“I have called Cher as well and . . .” BG continued but I cut in immediately.

“You called Cher . . .?” I said before I could stop myself.

“Yeah I had to apologize to her as well for the accusations. She said she spent the night at your place . . .”

My heart stopped. What in God’s name had Cher done?

BG was still talking. “Thanks for your consideration. Cher said you had to sleep on the floor so she could use the bed. That’s so thoughtful of you, Geebee.”

I suppressed a grateful sigh. Cher was simply a mistress of deception and I had to admit to myself that I was in awe. I unsuccessfully tried to imagine what Cher could have said to convince BG into trusting us so easily after her earlier suspicion. I ended the call feeling like the weight on my shoulders had been miraculously lifted.

Two days later, Cher was at my place again. It was different this time around because BG was aware and in total support. I was uncomfortable with the idea but Cher had told me on phone a day before that it was best we kept up the act.

“Geebee, what’s up?” she had said cheerfully after I received her call.

“I’m good.” I said, maintaining my composure as best as I could.

“We need to talk” she said.

I was silent for a moment trying hard to process her words.

“Are you there?” she asked.

“Yes I’m here and no, I don’t think it’s a good idea that we see.” I responded bravely.

“Look Geebee, we both agree what happened between us was a mistake but remember we had plans before then. We can’t just throw all that away.”

She had a point. She was supposed to be a partner in my little ‘enterprise’ but as it were, I couldn’t trust her not to push me to the limits again and I couldn’t trust myself either not to fall again. In fact, I was too sure I would fall once more if ever we got together again.

“Besides, BG believes we are making moves already. If we break it off suddenly, don’t you think she’d smell a rat? Geebee, please I need this opportunity and as soon as you can teach me all I need to know, I’ll be out of your hair.”

True to her words, she kept things strictly business this time around and in less than ten minutes, we were off to the café. The evening turned out to be a very productive one and we penned down two good deals from existing magas and secured prospective ones. Her face on the webcam proved to be impressive to the magas and while I chatted with them, her ideas were a welcome contribution. By the end of that evening, I was no longer reluctant to have her around. By the end of that week, she had claimed about three Western Union transfers on my behalf. I took her and BG shopping and we all had so much fun together. It was almost as though nothing wrong ever happened between us some days before.

Before long, I began to confide very much in Cher and she in me. I told her about my plans for life, my frustrations with BG’s pregnancy and how I never actually loved her enough to want to marry her. She was so easy to talk to and at a point I knew we were becoming too close for comfort but this time, I didn’t seem to mind and neither did she. It was almost inevitable that we would go down the same wrong road we had gone previously and when it happened again, there was hardly any guilt. We simply decided we would keep things as discreet as possible and give BG no reason to suspect anything. I knew it was crazy but it was like I had become trapped in quicksand. I decided I was not going to struggle with it anymore because the more I tried to struggle, the deeper I would find myself sinking. It was safer to stay still until I got help whenever it came.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

I read a book during the week and I have to admit it's the most unique book I've read this year (and I've read quite a number). Seun Odukoya's 'For Days and a Night' is one book you won't stop reading for a second once you begin until you're done. I can guarantee that because it happened to me! Seun is a fantastic writer (one of the guys I look up to, in fact but he claims he's just trying. lol) and he's also a blogger on Wordpress. The beautiful thing about it is you can download it for FREE! Yes, you heard! Click HERE to download.

Then, please check out my friend, Salemcity's new track, Paradise. It's a song that's best described with its name. It's a song that would take you to Paradise literally. Click HERE to download. 

Thanks folks. Have a lovely Christmas celebration!

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EPISODE 59 – THE MORNING AFTER

I once heard there are three major vices that compete for the average young man's attention and only when a man successfully crosses the youthful stage of life steering clear of these mischievous trio could he be said to be a perfect youth. The vices form the DSF clan, an acronym for Drinking, Smoking and Fornication. Now, is there any dude in the house who’d say he’s never indulged in any of these? Please, stand up or forever remain silent and content with your status as a presently or erstwhile Imperfect youth. Of course there are exceptions and this has to do with the young men who have been fortunate enough to have been on the righteous path from a rather young age. These ones tend to cross the gulf of youth without getting hooked by at least one of the DSF components. Note that I used the word ‘average young man’ where this implies boys who get to grow up without necessarily being recipients of strict spiritual and moral guidance. Unfortunately, these vices have become so etched in the fabric of our society that people excuse them, using the comfortable term ‘youthful exuberance’. Indeed!

Personally, I wouldn’t totally agree that it is permissible for young men to indulge in these excesses in the name of youthful exuberance but even if the benefit of doubt is given, I strongly believe such kids should outgrow such tendencies after a while. At twenty, if you are a member of the DSF clan, there should definitely be a get-away plan. You shouldn’t see yourself still doing such stuff by twenty-five! That’s what I have always believed and still do believe. Unfortunately, many young men still find themselves stuck in this vicious community well into their thirties, forties and even beyond. I was not lucky enough to escape DSF; in fact, I sampled all its components and it felt so good at the time. However, I always had a get-away plan. I knew this wasn’t something I wanted to do forever and so always had to use the ‘check myself before I wreck myself’ code. One factor that further strengthened this resolve was the fleeting feeling that came with all of these vices.  The fun usually only lasted for that present moment and I always hated the way I felt afterwards. It was a thought I hardly shared with anyone but I always had my get-away plan at the back of my mind. 

Of the lot, fornication seems to be the easiest commit, especially considering the available options this vice offers. If you’re not bold enough to approach a girl, you could save yourself the trouble by patronizing brothels. Smoking takes more guts, especially when you go beyond cigarettes and try out smoking weed or some crazier stimulant. Drinking tends to be a little easier to indulge in than smoking but the effects could mess a man up just as well. The hangovers from drinking sprees could subject one to the worst forms of ridicule. The most terrible part is the hangover experience of the morning after a night of drunkenness. It usually feels like hell. I could compare this feeling to what I felt in the morning after the night I found myself kissing Cher.

Source

I opened my eyes and stretched lazily in bed. I attempted to roll sideways and suddenly I realized I was not alone. Cher was still sleeping soundly. I sat up and stared at her sleeping frame for a moment. This was not happening, I tried to convince myself. Had I just spent the night in bed with my girlfriend’s sister? I felt bile build up in my throat. I felt like a pregnant woman with morning sickness. Perhaps, BG’s pregnancy had been miraculously transferred to me and I was beginning to feel the symptoms of early pregnancy! I was suddenly woozy all over and the room seemed to spin. I looked at a corner of the bed and saw my boxer shorts and I recalled all that had transpired the night before . . .

Cher broke off suddenly and pulled away. In the darkness, I could feel my face flush with embarrassment. I tried to imagine how humiliated she must have felt as well.

“Cher . . .” I began, feeling like I had just had ‘dumbass’ tatooed on my forehead.

She didn’t respond. Her back was turned to me and I thought twice about reaching out to touch her again. That was how the foolishness had started anyway.

“I’m so sorry, Cher” I said, finally finding my voice. “I really don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s okay, Geebee. I’m sorry too.” she said, turning slightly to face me in the darkness. “I guess I am as guilty as you are anyway.”

I understood what she meant. She had kissed me back and I figured she had probably surprised herself as well. I remained on the spot I was sitting on the ground for a while wondering what implications the kiss we had just shared could have. It wasn’t something I would easily be able to shake off and I wondered if it would be the same for her. Her sister was pregnant for me and as things were, I was practically stuck with her, at least until after the baby was born and probably for a few years more until we decided what the future held for both of us. That automatically meant I would always be connected to Cher one way or the other. Could I bear to look at her without thinking of the kiss? How long would it take for BG to notice the tension that would exist between her sister and I? How about our Yahoo-Yahoo association? Would we still be able to continue?

I sighed and tried to get up to crawl back to the corner of the floor to sleep off the exhaustion I felt but I stopped in my tracks as Cher gripped my sleeve. I was speechless for a moment as I tried to process what could be going on and what I should say at that moment.

“We’re both human beings and blood flows through our veins!” she simply said as she pushed her body closer to mine. The physical contact caused electric sparks to shoot through my entire body and every thought I had building in my head vanished into thin air. I took her mouth and kissed her again with so much force that I never imagined myself capable of. In the darkness, and with our lips aching from the forceful kissing, we undressed one another without pausing for a moment to think. A brief pause would probably have been all that was needed to save the day but we seemed determined not to interfere with the strong chemistry in the air. Minutes later, with our blind passion well spent, we had fallen asleep. . . .

I winced as I recalled all that had happened. I had felt so bad about kissing Cher but I had gone ahead to do the most despicable thing. I was sure I had committed a crime worthy of nothing but death. I sighed again and tried to find an excuse for what had happened. It had not been entirely my fault. Cher should not have been at my place that night. I countered the thought almost immediately. After all, she had resolved to find her way home that night but I had stopped her. I had gone all the way to the bus stop to persuade her to come back with me although it had been an action I took out of concern for her safety and especially out of irritation at BG’s insinuations. Yes! BG! Immediately, I began to build a mental blame-jail for my girlfriend. I had never imagined that what had happened between Cher and I could happen. It was BG who had started the senseless accusations on phone back in the bus. It was her that had made Cher feel so bad to the point of weeping and then in my bid to console her I had done a most stupid thing. BG had a part in this unfortunate occurrence. I suddenly found myself hating my girlfriend so much at that moment. If she had only been more trusting and given me the benefit of doubt, I would probably never have been pushed into doing something so wrong. In the deepest recesses of my mind, I knew I was making lame excuses but I shut up that part of me and chose to focus on what I wanted to focus on. It worked like magic. I proceeded to tie a towel around my waist

Cher must have felt some activity around her as she woke up and looked around the room. Our eyes met.

“Hi”, she said, trying to avert my gaze, her countenance betraying a hint of timidity.

“Hey”, I responded. “Hope you slept well?”

She nodded and looked at the clock on the wall. I followed her gaze and for the first time I remembered she was due to submit an assignment that day and should have been out of my house by 5 am. It was almost seven o’clock.

“Wow! Your assignment,” I said concernedly.

She sighed as she got up, pulling off the entire bed sheet with her to cover her nudity.

“I guess I’ve started paying for what we did last night” she said, smiling mischievously.

I was surprised and at the same time relieved. I had expected her to be as gloomy as death with the guilty feeling like I was feeling. I had wondered how we would be able to look each other in the face after what had transpired but here we stood making a casual joke about it. It was so comforting.

“Look, Geebee” she began. “About what happened last night, I’m sorry about it all but could we try to keep it away from BG?”

I looked at her in surprise. “Of course. You think I’ll tell her? That would be a most stupid thing to do.”

“Fine.” She said, as she sat on the edge of the sofa. “I really don’t know what came over me.”

I shrugged. “What has happened has happened. We just need to move on.” I said, trying my best to be in control as much as possible.

“Yeah.” She concurred. “I should get going. Do you mind if I take a shower?”

“Sure, why not?” I said, pointing out the bathroom to her.

As she took her shower, my mind wandered to BG again and I wondered if indeed I would be able to keep the truth of what had happened between me and her sister from her and even if I did, how long would I be able to hide it? A month? Two months? Two years? What if we ended up together eventually? Would I be able to keep the truth from her forever? I realized only time would tell. I turned on my phone and barely a minute after; I received about five new messages. They were all from BG. She was full of apologies for accusing me and asked that I forgave her for over-reacting. She confessed that she loved me too much and was scared of losing me. The successive messages were follow-ups to preceding ones. In the last one, she asked that I called her as soon as I saw the messages. I hated myself so much right then and wished I could rewind time back to the very moment Cher had called on phone the previous day. I should have simply not picked up the phone!

“I think you should try to call BG.” Cher said as she emerged from the bathroom. Thankfully, she had put on her clothes before coming out.

I nodded. “Yeah I will. I’m just reading her messages.”

“Oh really? What did she say? More insults?”

I shook my head and passed the phone to her. She read on for a few minutes and sighed.

“Wow! We’ve been very bad!” she said as she handed back the phone to me.

As Cher left my place that morning, I knew somehow I would not be able to push her away for good. I admired her unique ability to stay detached and composed in spite of what had happened between us and I wished I had such a personality as well. I knew keeping the truth away from BG would be an uphill task but I also knew it was best if she didn’t know. What had happened with Cher was a mistake but I was not even convinced it was a mistake I would never repeat. As much as I tried to make the resolve, it did not feel strong enough. I knew the only person that could actually stop me from making that mistake again was Cher herself. I looked at my phone. It was time to call and make up with BG. Perhaps, that would be my saving grace, I hoped.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES

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EPISODE 58 – THE GAMBLER’S STORY

You got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run

You never count your money

When you’re sittin’ at the table

There’ll be time enough for countin’

When the dealin’s done

Source

These lines are the chorus of one of my favourite Oldies tracks by Kenny Rogers titled ‘The Gambler’. In it, Rogers talked about how he met a gambler on a train who schooled him in the art of gambling. I’ll paraphrase what he learnt in as few words as possible. In the game of Poker, the gambler has to know how to read the signs and take the right steps. He needs to know when to hold his cards and call other players’ bluff. He needs to know when to fold his cards and ultimately, he should know when to walk away. At times, it is not easy to ‘just walk away’ because you could easily be tempted to return to the table. In such cases, it’s safer to run! Confidence could also be very deceptive in a gamble. Don’t count your money while sitting at a poker table. You’ll have all the time to do that after you have survived the game. The game is all about choices and the wrong choice could lead to a loss in the game. Now, I bet I sound like a Poker Master or something. Funny enough, I’ve never played the game but sometimes, our experiences in life are reminiscent of a poker game and we find out we have to make similar choices.

Source

As I approached the bed, my heart continued to beat furiously. At some point, I wondered if it wouldn’t explode in my chest. I had heard of cases of heart attacks and all but I was also aware most victims were usually in their forties or fifties and above and I was not even yet twenty-two! As I tried to dismiss the possibility, I thought of Samuel Okwaraji, a Nigerian footballer with his statue in front of the National Stadium, Surulere. I heard he had slumped and died while playing against Angola sometime in 1989. I began to imagine if he had been older or younger than 22. Now, this was all before 23-year old Fabrice Muamba of Bolton Wanderers had his heart attack this year. This was 2007! Anyways, I reassured myself that I couldn’t possibly die of a heart attack. My heart had withstood more than enough stress for three heart attacks in one that day alone and I was still breathing so what the hell?

Cher’s sobs continued and in the pitch darkness, I tried to visualize her sleeping frame on the bed. I could barely see a thing and I had decided otherwise against turning on my phone to aid my vision. Finally, I got to the bed and knelt beside it. I could now feel her close by and my vision of her slightly improved. I was sure she felt my presence as the sobbing ceased suddenly and she turned.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

The question took me by surprise and I registered her nervousness. What was she thinking? I wondered. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness much more and I could see her faintly. She looked scared and vulnerable. I hoped she didn’t think I was going to rape her or something! I realized I had caused her to imagine something ridiculous and I knew I had to clear the air immediately.

“I’m not  . . . You were crying, Cher.” I managed in a calm tone.

“Sorry. I just had a lot on my mind,” she sniffed.

I was too overwhelmed to speak for a minute. This girl clearly had multiple personalities. I could hardly believe this was the same girl who had nearly made me wet my pants that afternoon; the same girl who had been so full of life in the bar and in the café. Here she was, weeping herself red before me for no definite reason. Oh, right! I quickly corrected. She said she had a lot of things on her mind. What things did she have on her mind that would make her weep so sorely? I was as angry as a wounded lion myself considering the way the day had turned out for me and all I had just wanted to do was sleep and wake up to another day without Cher’s intrusion. However, watching her sob calmed every rage I felt towards her.

“I’m sorry if I screamed at you, Cher. I was really frustrated at the way . . .” I began, wondering if I wasn’t saying nonsense but she interrupted me almost immediately.

“No, Geebee. Don’t apologize.” She said. “I should be the one apologizing. I really made a mess of your day and have caused you so much trouble and . . .” She broke off and began to sob again. I sighed. This was going to be one hell of a night, I decided.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

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LOL. Got you there, didn’t I? That was a joke to test how mad the suspense-haters would be. The story continues.

“Cher, it’s alright. I’m not angry.” I said, really meaning it. Any residual anger I felt had vanished. All that mattered to me at that moment was to stop the tears of the lady on my bed. I was indeed a sucker for sobbing women (and still am. LOL). Still, her sobs continued.

“I just feel so bad. I’ve always been such an awful person!” she said.

“Wow! Come on, don’t say such words.” I consoled. “The fact that we do some wrong things doesn’t necessarily make us bad. It just makes us human.”

“Really?” she scoffed. “What if you’re trying to sleep with your sister’s boyfriend? Won’t that make you a bad person?”

My heart exploded! I dropped dead! I woke up and saw myself in Heaven. The Lord told me it wasn’t yet time for me to come home and sent me back. I woke up again. It took all of three seconds.

“I’m just kidding,” she said quickly and smiled. I beheld her smile in the darkness and it took me forever to heave a deep sigh of relief. I could feel the perspiration all over my body at that moment and it dawned on me how scared of this girl I really was. Apparently, I was attracted to her and it made her words have such a crazy effect on me. Gradually, I recovered and managed a smile at her humour. The real Cher was back. I was glad she was no longer sobbing.

“Wow! You’ve blushed all over. Did you really take me serious?” she mocked.

I winced. “Of course not!” I said in quick defense, even though I knew it was a blatant lie. “You are crazy, I tell you.” I added with a forced smile.

“And that’s why you like me, right?” she teased.

“Hmmm, kind of.” I agreed.

“So, you do like me then?” Cher pushed.

Source

I hesitated for a moment. It was time to go back to sleep, I decided. My mission had been accomplished. She had stopped sobbing. In fact, I was beginning to wish I had left her to sob especially now that she was back in the saddle and torturing me all over again. It was time for the gambler to walk away or better still, run! 

“Cher, you should get some sleep,” I said. “It’s almost one a.m and you have to be out of here very early tomorrow or else . . .”

“Or else, BG would storm your place with the marines, right?” she cut in.

That thought had not even crossed my mind. I had wanted to say she had to leave very early or else she would be stuck in the early morning Lekki-Epe expressway traffic.

“I was not even thinking about that!” I said angrily. “And no, BG wouldn’t dare do that!”

Cher smiled again. “Well, maybe if it was someone else besides me here at your place, she wouldn’t.”

I was shocked and recalled the things BG had always told me about her sister and how she was the black sheep of the family and all but I had never envisaged BG could see Cher as such a threat to her relationship.

“I thought you were sisters.” I said. “Why would she think you’re capable of such?”

“I don’t know. I am always misunderstood by everyone and it hurts so much!” Cher said and broke into a sob again.

“I have not really been the best example of a person so everyone at home sees me as an outcast.” She continued. “I have a mind of my own and it’s been so difficult to find someone who truly understands me. I have no friends . . .”

Instinctively, I reached out to touch her face. I moved closer until my head was close to hers and I held her head in my hands. “It’s alright. You’ll find someone who understands you for who you are someday. You’re not a bad person.”

In the darkness, I could feel her eyes boring into mine. I felt my head move closer and I kissed her lightly on the lips. I had meant it to be a light goodnight kiss but somehow, it lasted longer than expected. I realized I was kissing her and . . . Good heavens! She was kissing me right back!

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES

Meanwhile, I should announce that THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES has been named the BEST PERSONAL BLOG (Judges' Choice) in the 2012 Nigerian Blog Awards! 

Yay! *dancing azonto* Let's pop the champagne. Thanks y'all. You guys made it happen!

Also, kindly vote for my bro, Chima 'Ironverse Slim' Ewurum in the Top Naija Music Awards. He was nominated in two categories: 

1. Best Artiste, South East

2. Most Promising Artist. 

Please, click on the categories to vote. 

Thanks people!

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EPISODE 57 – THE SCARY BASEMENT

I have never been a fan of horror movies. My dislike for this movie genre has nothing to do with the fear of the horrific scenes like the spilling of guts and intestines in movies like Scream and Saw or the heart-rending accident scenes in Final Destination 4 and all the other insane and gory scenes typical of horror movies. No, I fear none of these, although I have to admit, I would not like to have a nightmare where I visualize such scenes. I’ll definitely jump from my bed screaming ‘Blood of Jesus!’. LOL. The only positive thing I can take away from horror movies, and that’s if it could really be classified as positive now would be the adrenaline rush and anticipation of the next action, especially in those that are well scripted. The heartbeat accelerates at a speed that well exceeds the regular heart rate.

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Imagine a scene where a teenage girl whose parents have gone on a two-day cruise is alone in a big house and after a nice movie, a pack of cookies and glass of juice, she goes upstairs to her room and before long, she falls asleep. Then, late into the night (of course, the time is displayed as 2.17 a.m), she is awoken by a loud thunderstorm. She realizes it had been raining and hurries to lock up her windows because of the extremely cold breeze coming through. It stops raining after a little while but she finds out she is unable to fall asleep again. Angrily, she comes downstairs again hoping to continue her movie and maybe eat some more cookies and have another glass of juice. As she approaches the last few steps on the stairway, she hears a loud creak. She shudders and pauses for a moment. Then, she shrugs and moves towards the area the sounds seemed to emanate from. She hears the creak again and she realizes the sound is from the basement door. Yes, THE BASEMENT DOOR! That’s where it usually happens, right? Her heart begins to accelerate as she moves closer and as she gets to the door, she turns the knob and . . .

At this point, your heartbeat would probably be beating faster than that of the girl on the screen. Why? Of course, it’s because of the excitement and anticipation of what’s going to happen next. Would she find a monster in there? Would it be a burglar who had broken in? Or would it be a rat? You can’t just help the enthusiasm and adrenaline rush . . . and that’s the beautiful thing about horror movies. Now, what was the point of all that gist? Before you begin to crucify me for ending the story ‘just like that’, I should stress that I was only trying to explain how it feels to take a dangerous step and the panic and trepidation that usually accompany it. LOL.

As I sat in the bus with Cher, I had a million thoughts racing through my head. I looked at my watch. It was already past nine o’clock and I knew it would only take a miracle for us to arrive at my place within an hour and that night hardly seemed like a night when miracles could happen. In fact, the day had been painted with disaster right from the start and it could only get worse. How was Cher going to leave my place at about 10.30pm (assuming we were lucky enough to get to my place and retrieve her folder by then) and begin another two-hour trip back to her place? I was very angry but still, I knew better than letting my anger allow me risk the life of my proposed sister-in-law cum partner-in-crime cum seductress-of-the-day! When my phone rang, I wished I could scream the roof off! I didn’t need to look at the screen to know who it was. I looked at Cher and the look on her face was one of sobriety this time! What? Was this really Cher? I wondered. The sober look was so genuine that I had to peer a little closer to confirm that she was the one I was actually looking at?

“It’s BG.” I said in the voice of a man who had just been told he was going to be castrated.

“I’m so sorry about this, Geebee” Cher said and I could have sworn she was sincere.

The phone was still ringing and a few passengers in the bus seated around me began to flash me questioning looks. My ringtone was Usher’s ‘Yeah’ and it really didn’t seem to be helping matters. I could not cut the call otherwise BG would have a fit wherever she was. It was safer to pretend that I could not answer the phone for some reason.

“You’re sorry?” I echoed Cher’s words. Then, I smiled the smile of a man who had been told to take heart because it was only one of his balls that would be removed and not both.

“I don’t know what to tell her.” I told Cher. “Would you talk to her?”

She shook her head and I almost had a fit. What! She had put me in this mess and she was leaving me to fight the battle all alone!

Apparently, her phone was still turned off otherwise BG would have called her as well. Immediately, I wished I had turned mine off as well but I quickly had a rethink. It would definitely have made things worse. Cher was officially the most annoying bitch ever as far as I was concerned at that moment. She had me so seriously cornered. The phone stopped ringing and I hoped BG would give it a rest but no sooner had the wish crossed my mind than Usher’s ‘Yeah’ erupted again.

“Bros does your phone have Bluetooth?” some dude seated about two seats to my left asked. I flashed him a blank look, my head hardly processing what he had asked me.

“I was hoping you could send me that song,” he added, stretching his phone towards me. I decided it would be unfair to vent my frustration on this guy and deny him the chance of having the top hiphop jam of May 2007 on his phone as well. I collected his phone and noticed he had already switched on the Bluetooth. Had it been a different day, I would have gladly pimped his phone with a lot of music, videos and pictures! My phone was still ringing and I sighed and received the call.

“Hello BG.” I said, masking the frustration I was feeling as strongly as I could.

“Hey Geebee dear. What’s wrong now? I’ve been trying to reach you. You were not picking up. Is Cher on her way home? Her phone is still switched off…”

“Something came up.” I said calmly. “Cher left her folder at my place.”

“Wow!” BG said. “I’m so sorry about this. Would you be able to bring it for her tomorrow?”

I sighed. “Yes I thought as much but she said she has to submit it tomorrow morning so she’s going back with me to get it.”

“What?” BG said in obvious shock. “At this time?”

I decided I had said just about enough and it was time to pass the baton. “Talk to her” I said into the receiver and passed the phone to Cher.

The conversation she had with her sister lasted for almost ten minutes and over the background I could hear BG’s angry rants. It was more than obvious she was not comfortable with the fact that Cher was still with me at that time. It was almost ten p.m and we were still a good distance away from my place. I watched in amusement as Cher tried to explain herself in the best way she could amid BG’s angry outbursts.

“Please, we’ll call you back. We’re in a public bus.” Cher said finally and ended the call. She was fuming as she handed the phone back to me. I did not bother to ask her what had transpired on phone. I had hardly settled to do the music transfer to my fellow passenger’s phone when my phone rang again. It was BG.

“Please don’t pick that call.” Cher said.

I looked at her unbelievably and ignoring her, I received the call.

“Hello BG” I said.

“Geebee, look I know what you both are trying to do.” BG lashed out angrily at me.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, hardly believing what I was hearing.

She ignored my question and continued her verbal attack. “I know my sister and I know what she can do and I know you are not that innocent yourself. You had better just ask her to come down from the bus and start coming home now! She must not go with you or else . . .”

“Or else what?” I cut in angrily without thinking.

I was furious! Who the hell did BG think she was to threaten me that way? I did not give a fart about whatever she and her sister had between them but I would not allow her insult me for no reason.

“Geebee, are you asking me ‘or else what?’” she asked, her tone registering total shock at my retort.

I simply hissed and ended the call. I was embarrassed to notice that I had attracted some attention to myself. Some of the passengers were now staring at me curiously that I had to hold back from yelling at them to get their faces off me.

“I told you not to take that call.” Cher whispered.

I looked at her and wished I could strangle her at that moment or throw her out the window of the moving bus. She noticed my livid countenance and immediately muttered an apology. Perhaps, she had seen a monstrous look on my face at that moment. I had barely composed myself when my phone rang again. I almost swore at Usher and his blasted song right then. Immediately, I cut the call and proceeded to totally turn off the phone.

“Bros?”

I turned and sighed as I noticed the Usher fan who had given me his phone to ‘pimp’.

“Sorry, I have turned my phone off.” I said, as I passed his phone back to him. I was not in the least bothered about his disappointment. He could as well go and purchase the song from vendors for all I cared.

I did not utter one word to Cher for the rest of the journey, when we alighted at the bus stop and all through the short walk to my place. When I got to my doorstep, it was about a quarter to eleven. At the bus stop, I had noticed that only a few buses seemed to be going in the opposite direction. I knew it would be difficult for Cher to get back home that night but I wasn’t about to show any soft side to someone who had made me have one of the worst days ever. At that moment, I was so sure our pact and partnership in the Yahoo-Yahoo business was over. I just wanted her out of my life for good! She was nothing but trouble. I unlocked my front door, went in and headed straight to the bathroom. I heard Cher come in and seconds later, I heard the front door shut. I waited for a few seconds before coming out. I noticed she had picked her folder and left. My heart went out to her. I knew it was going to be difficult for her to get transportation back to her place at that time and in spite of how mad I was at her, my soft side won me over and I walked out of the house and headed towards the bus stop.

I caught up with her at the bus stop and called her. She seemed surprised to see me and I noticed she had been weeping. All my anger disappeared in an instant.

“Let’s go.” I said.

“Where?” she asked.

“Back to my place. It’s quite late and I don’t think it’s safe for you to go back at this time. You can leave as early as five a.m tomorrow.”

“No, don’t worry Geebee. I’ll be fine. I’ve caused you enough trouble as it is. Let me just go.”

We were at the bus stop for another quarter of an hour as I tried to persuade her to return with me. Meanwhile, only two buses passed by in that period and none of them were headed her way. Eventually, she agreed and we went back to my place.

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As we approached my house, I turned on my phone and about four messages from BG flooded my phone. In it, she fired at me all manner of invectives, calling me myriads of unprintable names. I was too tired to get angry at that moment. I simply turned the phone off once more.

An hour later, I was lying on the rug in a corner of my room, leaving the bed for Cher. I was almost asleep when I heard sounds in the room. It was pitch black in the room, thanks to the power cut. I sat up and listened. The sounds were coming from the bed. It was muffled sounds, as of one weeping. I sighed and approached the bed in slow steps. I felt like the girl about to open the basement door in the horror movie. Right then, my heart began to beat furiously . . .

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

Meanwhile, voting is still on in the 2012 Nigerian Blog Awards. Please click HERE to vote for this blog as BEST PERSONAL BLOG and tell others to do the same. I know you know that I deserve to win this. Come on, let's make it happen. Voting ends on Sunday, 11th November. Thanks people!

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EPISODE 56 - ENTANGLED

Before I begin, I am glad to inform you all that this blog has been nominated in the 2012 Nigerian Blog Awards. 'The Geebee Chronicles' was shortlisted in the 'Best Personal blog' category. I thank you all for your efforts in the nomination stages that made this possible. Coincidentally, this blog was nominated in this same category in the 2009 and 2010 editions but unfortunately didn't clinch the spot on both occasions. Hopefully, it would be different this time around but that's only gonna happen if you vote. Please, go ahead and vote for my blog and your other favourite blogs by clicking HERE. Thank you! That said, let's continue with our series.

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 “Hello, are you there?” BG asked worriedly.

I could not tell what she was worried about. Was she worried that her sister might be missing or that her sister might be with me?

“Yea-yeah I’m here,” I said in a stutter, my gaze fixed on Cher in total confusion. I tried unsuccessfully to communicate with her with my eyes. She was busy on the computer chatting with my maga and appeared uninterested in my phone conversation to my utter disgust. She should have been the one receiving BG’s call if only her blasted phone was not turned off.

“Has Cher called you?” BG asked again.

I was at crossroads on what my response would be. If I told her I had not heard from Cher, it would cause more agitation on her part if indeed she was worried about her sister’s whereabouts and I didn’t want to put her through such mental trauma considering her condition. On the other hand, if I told her that Cher was with me, she would probably smell a rat and wonder why Cher had not bothered to call her after meeting me or why I had not called for that matter. It would also cause more mental pressure for her. It was a case of two roads leading to one unpleasant destination. I needed a few seconds to talk to Cher to determine what my response would be. I ended the call abruptly and hoped to grab as much time I could to talk to Cher before BG called again.

“Cher, BG’s been trying to reach you. She says your phone is switched off.” I lashed out, trying really hard to suppress my anger.

“Oh really? Yeah, I turned it off earlier on. I totally forgot about the phone!” she responded lamely.

I was sure it was another lie but I decided not to push it.

“Okay. Well, she’s calling me now and asking about you. What do I tell her?”

She smiled. “Are you asking me? You can tell her I’m here with you.”

I felt my head was going to explode. “Really? You want me to tell her that?” I said, looking at her disbelievingly. “You ought to have called her to tell her that yourself earlier on!”

“Sorry” she simply said.

“So what next?” I asked, wishing I could slap the taste out of her mouth. “Why don’t you just turn on your phone now and call her so you can tell her whatever you want. I really don’t like what is happening right now.”

She was going to say something but my phone rang. My heart froze.

“I think you should pick this call, Cher.” I said and stretched the phone, still ringing in my hand to her.

“And say what?” she asked. “It’s your phone. You talk to her.”

I could feel my blood rising as I accepted the call.

“Hello baby. Sorry, I think there were issues with the network.” I said.

“Okay. I was beginning to  . . .”

“Cher is here with me!” I said suddenly.

The shock on Cher’s face was as clear as crystal. I held her gaze and managed not to smile. Apparently, she had expected that I would ‘cover up’ again like I had done earlier but I was already neck-deep in fury and was ready to damn any consequences. The truth was, I half expected myself to come out so straight with BG at that moment but I did it anyway, more like the words jumped out of my mouth. Cher’s expression revealed obvious disbelief and I could sense a tinge of apprehension. I had successfully turned the tables with one sucker punch and I was glad to savour the moment.

“She’s with you?” BG asked. “And you guys could not even call me?”

“Sorry babe,” I said. “We are in the café now anyway.”

“But I’ve been trying to reach her since and . . .”

“Yeah, she said her phone is switched off . . .”

Cher snatched the phone from me in a flash and put it to her ear. I was sure she had been scared that I would go all out to tell BG all her antics previously and she had quickly decided to save face. The truth was, I wouldn’t have done that but I was glad she was scared.

“Hey lil sis,” she said into the receiver.

Her gaze met mine and she eyed me with obvious disgust. I wasn’t in the least bothered. In fact, I had to hold myself back from bursting into laughter. I sighed in relief and settled down to face the computer screen. The ball was in her court now.

The call lasted for about six minutes and while I chatted on the computer with Petr, a prospective maga, I listened to Cher’s side of the conversation with her sister. I was awed by her smartness and how she easily got herself out of the dicey situation with a convincing tale on how she got stuck in traffic and how her friend’s brother played games on her mobile phone and caused the battery to go flat. At a point, BG asked her if it wasn’t getting too late considering the time. It was already past seven o’clock at that point and her home was another two hours drive away. Cher simply told her she would be on her way soon. Meanwhile, Petr insisted he would like to see me on webcam because he had heard a lot of bad stories about Nigerian scammers. I decided it would be a perfect time to allow Cher begin to perform her duties as the ‘face’ of my Yahoo enterprise. I was due to receive a call from Luke Pine that evening after I had sent him the call numbers to the phone I had previously given to Cher. I was yet to brief her on the modalities of how she would respond to his call but with all the drama that had happened that day, I was already starting to wonder if bringing Cher in wasn’t a grave mistake.

“So . . .?” I said as she ended the call.

“Get lost!” she said angrily.

I was amused. “I’m sorry Cher but you pushed me that far.”

“You should have known I was just messing with you all along,” she said and she sounded so sincere that I felt very guilty. “I play a lot of games. That’s just me.”

“Well, that was a very expensive one. I’m sorry I overreacted.” I said, meaning it.

Cher shrugged. “It’s alright.”  She said, facing the computer screen. “So let’s make this money sir! Is that still the guy I was chatting with? What’s his name again?”

“Petr,” I said. “However, I think it’s getting late. Don’t you think you should get going?”

She frowned. “Geebee, I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”

We remained in the café for more than an hour more and after much persuasion on my part, she finally agreed to leave. As we got to the bus stop where she would take a bus home, she suddenly gave a cry of despair.

I jumped. “What’s it?” I asked concernedly.

“My folder!”

I remembered I had last seen the folder when she had come to my place that afternoon.

“Where’s it?” I asked, already hating the fact that I would have to rush back to the café to get it for her.

“I left it on your table while I was reading your magazines!”

I wanted to scream. I looked at my watch. It was almost nine o’clock and the traffic had already started building on the road back to my place. It meant it would take at least an hour to get back to my house.

“Oh God!” I said. “Don’t worry. I’ll bring it home for you tomorrow.”

She winced. “You can’t. There’s an assignment I wrote in it. I’m to submit it in school tomorrow morning.”

I sighed in frustration. I had no choice. We were going back to my place. It took another twenty minutes for us to get a bus headed my way and just as we settled in and I was cursing myself and the powers that be for giving me such an evil day, my phone rang. It was BG again!

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

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