EPISODE 33 – A TIGHTER KNOT

I guess everyone who watched the World Cup would agree with me that the just concluded soccer fiesta remains one of the most successful ever in spite of the officiating flaws and the ridiculous number of cards awarded. The 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa has been the most unpredictable and interesting soccer event of all time, especially with the climax of the final between Spain and Netherlands. The culminating final made me feel like a prophet because I had earlier tipped the European duo for the finals along with England, Germany and Brazil as possibilities. Octopus Paul of course also did a great job of prediction and I have been wondering if we could enlist the awesome creature’s prowess in determining the political future of Nigeria among other things.

Anyways, it’s all over now and I’m glad we have a fresh new World Cup winner in Spain, and they also happen to be the current European champions.
I felt particularly sorry for Netherlands as they have now been in three World Cup finals without ever winning the coveted trophy. Well, I guess the moral of the story here is that you might get it right the first time (in the case of Spain) and also that you might try for a good while without achieving your dreams (in the case of the Netherlands) but nevertheless to keep trying until you get it right. Meanwhile, I have changed my recently adopted Ghanaian nationality ever since Asamoah Gyan denied Ghana the semi-final ticket with his fluked spot kick in the game against Uruguay. I am now Spanish and I choose to be called Hugo Gonzalez. That said, let’s return to our story.

I had decided I would never take BG for an abortion without the knowledge of at least a member of her family and she voiced her objections immediately.
“There’s no way that will happen,” she said stubbornly. “My sisters would kill me and my dad could have a heart attack if he hears of it.”
I sighed in frustration. “At least one of your people must know about this if we are to go ahead.” I told her pointedly.
“Why?” she asked.
I could not tell BG that the reason I wanted one of her siblings to be involved was because I had doubts on the possible success of the abortion. I had an ominous feeling that the abortion might have an unfortunate outcome and I was not ready to carry the whole weight of whatever happened all alone. I thought it would be much easier to cope with the eventuality if one of her folks was involved.
“I just want one of your people to be involved.” I said angrily as I could not come up with any other good reason to tell her and I would never mention what actually influenced my suggestion.
“Please, we can’t. They would kill me if they hear of this,” she said, referring to her sisters as she broke into a sob.
“What about Cher, your sister. We can call her and explain to her, can’t we?”
BG fell silent for a while.

She had told me about her immediate elder sister, Cher who was five years older. Most of the stories hardly painted a good-girl picture of the older sibling. Cher was the black sheep of the family and all her teenage and adolescent life, she had always given them a reason for worry. She partied to no end, hung out with bad company and indulged in every vice young women could involve in. I learnt from BG that her sister had also had a series of abortions. To the family however, BG had always been the perfect opposite, being the good girl everyone doted on and it was almost a constant practice in their home for Cher to be scolded and asked to learn from her younger sister and inculcate her good behaviour, much to Cher’s chagrin.
“What would Cher think of me?” BG asked pleadingly. “She would think I’m just like her. I am sure she would tell everyone about it just to prove that she is not the only bad girl in my family.”

I sighed as I realized there was a good deal of sense in what BG had said. However, we had no options here. Her other three sisters were much older and married and it was most obvious they would probably have me hanged if the news ever fell on their ears. I was almost tempted to go ahead with BG’s suggestions that we go for the abortion on our own but I decided it would not hurt to play a last card.
“What if I talk to her?” I asked.
“Talk to whom? Cher?” BG asked confused.
I nodded. I believed I could find a way to convince Cher to help us. BG told me earlier that she had confided in Cher that she had a boyfriend but made it clear that it was a no-sex relationship much to her elder’s sister’s derision. I also learnt that Cher had said she would like to see her little sister’s boyfriend. I decided it would be a good idea to capitalize on that and I asked BG to call her sister and ask her to come over to meet me.
“I’ll come on the condition that you guys will take me out for lunch at Chicken Colony and pay my cab fare to and fro,” Cher pointed out to BG on phone.
We agreed and she came over from her school to meet us at Chicken Colony, a fast food joint in the neighbourhood. I sized her up from a distance as she approached us. She did not at all look too bad. She was a more mature version of BG and I needed no one to tell me she was far much more experienced in every subject, good and bad. She appeared to be sizing me up as well and I smiled within.
“So you are the Geebee,” she said casually. “How are you doing?”
“I’m alright.” I said. “Thanks for coming.”
She smiled at BG. “He’s not bad. I’ll give him a 7.”
We laughed and gradually settled in.

While we dined, I approached the subject as carefully as I could. She had a blank look all through my narration, a look that finally switched to one of shock and surprise as soon as I dropped the bomb about BG’s pregnancy.
“My God!” she exclaimed, looking at her sister in obvious surprise. BG looked down shamefully. I imagined Cher jumping up and starting a victory dance over her confirmation as the-not-the-only-bad-girl-in-the-family but she remained rooted to her seat trying hard to take in the news.
“I realize this is not the best of conditions for us to meet but we really have no choice here and we need your help desperately.” I concluded.
She flashed me a confused look.
“My help? What do you guys expect me to do?” she asked, dropping the piece of chicken she had been holding for what seemed like an eternity.
“We want to go for a D and C,” I said.
“You mean an abortion,” she said. “Let’s call a spade what it is, please” she said in obvious irritation.
I sighed. “Okay, an abortion. We want to have an abortion.”
“Of course you have to have an abortion except you want our father and elder ones to kill her.” She looked at her younger sister and sighed.
“So what do you guys need my help for?” she continued. “I am not a doctor now. Or you guys don’t have the money to go through with it? I have none either.”
“We don’t need money actually.” I said calmly. “We just need you to come with us to the clinic.”
“No way, my brother,” she offered immediately. “You guys are on your own.”
“Please, we just need you there for the moral support.” I said. I was trying hard to contain my frustration. Things were not going as I had thought they would.
It took a great deal of pleading and BG had to break into a sob at a point as we begged Cher to come with us. Eventually, she agreed much to my greatest relief.
“I hope the doctor who’s going to do it knows the job,” she said. “I know one or two who can handle it smoothly,” she offered.
I thought about her offer but decided otherwise as I had spoken with a doctor a friend had referred me to and she had agreed to perform the abortion at a rather affordable cost once we were ready.
“We have someone. Thanks a million, Cher.” I said gratefully.
Cher simply shrugged and bit into her chicken. I excused myself so the sisters could play catch-up and say whatever they had to say to each other in my absence.

The next day, Cher, BG and I left for the clinic first thing in the morning. The doctor had been expecting us as I had confirmed our appointment the day before. The supposed doctor was a good natured woman with a beautiful smile and she assured us we had nothing to worry about. I was concerned about BG’s diminutive frame and I asked the doctor if that would not be a problem. She simply laughed.
“You call her ‘small’?” she said pointing at BG. “Girls who are in their early teens and still in secondary school come here all the time for this and they are out within minutes. She'll be up and running in a flash. Relax, my friend and give us fifteen minutes.”

I felt lighter and sat with Cher as we watched the woman lead BG into the operating theatre. I sat lost in thoughts for a while and could not even strike a conversation with Cher. I was sorry I was bringing her into such a shameful situation.
“I am sorry about this, Cher” I managed.
She sniffed. “You just pray nothing happen to my sister and once this is over, you had better stay away from her for good.”
“I will.” I said, meaning it with all my heart. I had decided that it was best BG and I went our separate ways once the baby was out of the picture and I was sure she would not mind the decision one bit.

About seven minutes later, the doctor came out of the theatre with gloves on her hands but with a worried look on her face. I could suddenly feel my heart racing furiously. What had happened? I wondered. Was BG alright? Cher got up almost immediately after I did and we approached the woman apprehensively.
“Doctor, how is she?” I asked impatiently.
The woman sighed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You would have to come back tomorrow. There was a little problem.”
I could have been knocked down by a feather at that moment.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

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EPISODE 32 – QUO VADIS?

I promised myself I would not talk about the ongoing FIFA World Cup but somehow it almost feels irresistible. Well, a line or two wouldn’t hurt now, would it? Let me quickly share this joke with you guys.

A teacher found his pupil sitting in class after school and asked him why he was not on his way home like the rest of his colleagues. The eight year old boy was sad because he had come second in the weekly test.
“Why don’t you want to go home?” the teacher asked.
“Because my mummy will beat me,” the boy answered.
“What about your dad?” the teacher asked.
“He will beat me too,” answered the kid.
The teacher was surprised. “So where do you want to go?”
“I want to go and meet the Super Eagles,” the kid said.
The teacher was shocked and confused. “Why would you want to go meet the Super Eagles?” he asked, wondering what his pupil meant.
“Because they do not ever beat anyone,” the boy simply answered.

I’m not surprised our dear Super Chickens Eagles crashed out in the first round of the tournament. Did anyone really expect them to do anything different? Now, whoever did must be a dreamer. I once heard ‘foolishness’ defined as doing something the same way over and over and expecting to get a different result. The team definitely needs a thorough overhauling and until that happens, we should not expect anything spectacular from these chickens eagles. This is the first World Cup on African soil and unfortunately all the African representatives except Ghana crashed out in the preliminary stage. Right now, I feel elated that Ghana have managed to beat U.S.A in the second round and reach the last eight, a record for them, making Ghana the third African country to reach the quarter finals of the World Cup after Cameroon in 1990 and Senegal in 2002. For the remaining duration of this tournament, I have become a Ghanaian and you can call me Kofi or Mensah. lol. Wao, have I gone beyond two lines? My bad! Back to our story, people.

I struggled to come to terms with the fact that BG was pregnant. It was a most shocking realization and I sat holding the lab result in my hands for almost an hour. My mind remained totally blank and I practically forgot BG was sitting beside me.
“What are we going to do now?” she asked finally.
It was a question I had no answers to. What was the next step? I asked myself repeatedly but could not quite find an answer. I had never being in such a situation before. I had been having sex for about six years but no girl had ever gotten pregnant for me and I never had any friends I knew who had been in similar situations. It was a totally new experience and I felt confused as hell. I decided immediately that we could not have this baby as that would be the very death of me. The problem however was how to get rid of the pregnancy. I realized for the first time that I was indeed a novice.
“Please, just allow me think, okay.” I told her calmly after she repeated her question.
“But you have been thinking for over an hour now,” she challenged.
I quite understood her fears. She was in a more precarious situation as it were as her overall personality had never prepared her for such a situation. She was the ‘baby of her house’ and her father and older siblings doted on her to no end. In fact, as at the time, they could vouch for her virginity, thus I could identify with her worries. I also had mine but I was doing my best to control myself. It would have taken no serious effort for me to throw myself on the ground and cry my eyes out considering the consequences that lay ahead of me. I got up without a word and took a walk leaving her sitting where she was. I believed I needed a clear head and her nagging would have made matters much worse.

In my desperation, I strolled to Viv’s Place, a spot in the neighbourhood where I hung out once a while. Viv, a rather interesting young woman ran the place and sold alcohol, Indian hemp and local gin among other stimulants men indulged in. She had always been fond of me and my friends and we usually had good conversation in between shots of local gin and puffs of smoke. I decided to confide in Viv, hoping she might be able to give me some good advice on what to do.
“How many months be the belle?” Viv asked after I narrated my ordeal to her.
I recalled the night BG and I had our first sexual intercourse; the one that had resulted in the pregnancy. It was a little over three weeks and I told Viv immediately. She simply laughed, took a puff of her joint and passed it to me. I declined with a nod of my head. That was the last thing I needed at that moment.
“Na that one dey make you fear?” she asked mockingly. “Na small thing be that now. If to say the belle don reach three or four months now, na wahala be that.”
I sighed gratefully and thanked the good winds that had blown me Viv’s way. She went on to prescribe the most ridiculous combination of items which included dry gin, alligator pepper, lime, Ampiclox tablets and some other stuff I can’t readily remember. I was asked to mix all these together and have BG swallow the mixture. Viv assured me that my woman would see her menses within two days. I thanked her profusely and left the place feeling much light-hearted.

That evening, we followed all the prescriptions and by the time the brew was ready, I tasted it and almost choked as it was a most nauseating concoction. However, the reality of our situation left us with no choice and BG managed to drink the potion, restraining herself from vomiting with great effort. I spent the entire night attending to her and trying to calm her down after the potion began to have its effect on her. By morning, things seemed much better and we patiently looked forward to the ‘flow’. Three days later, the situation had not changed and I was back at Viv’s. The woman was visibly shocked and told me she did not understand why the mixture had not worked. She asked if I was sure I had followed her exact prescriptions and I assured her I had. She enquired further if I was indeed sure my girlfriend was not over three months pregnant as that would have been the only exception to the efficacy of the concoction. When I insisted my woman was just about three weeks pregnant, she simply shrugged and advised us to go for an abortion. I realized this meant deep trouble. I had decided earlier on that I would not want to have BG go for an abortion as I greatly feared it could lead to unexpected results. I had heard many stories of the unpleasant outcomes of abortion such as complications, damaging of the womb or even death and I was not ready to take that risk. That was the major reason I had gone to Viv in the first place. At the same time, I could not bear the risk of having BG keep the pregnancy as it would put us both in a most embarrassing and damning situation. Now, Viv’s suggestions had failed and we seemed to be running out of time. By my calculation, BG was now four weeks pregnant.

We waited for another two weeks, hoping that somehow by a miracle, her menses would suddenly return and the pregnancy would be history but nothing of such happened. I observed BG closely but noticed no significant changes in her body and neither did anyone within her immediate family as she admitted. However, we realized we needed to do something about the situation as soon as possible. By the sixth week of her pregnancy, we finally decided to go ahead with the abortion. I had great fears and so did BG but we convinced ourselves that we would face a worse situation if her family found out that she was pregnant or if mine got wind of the fact that I had gotten a girl pregnant. I had a deep fear of the unknown and as such I decided I would not take BG for an abortion without someone from her home being involved. The lot fell on Cher, her immediate elder sister, a fun-loving girl who would be able to keep a secret. The one hurdle however remained how we would convince Cher to be a part of our plan.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

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EPISODE 31 – JACKPOT!

As I write this post, the FIFA World Cup in South Africa is on and the much anticipated match between Nigeria and Argentina in Group B is underway. Presently, Argentina leads by a lone goal, courtesy of a carelessly conceded goal resulting from a well taken Argentinean corner. Mehn, I had to bounce immediately after the ball went into our net but my ears are pinned to the commentator’s comments emitting loudly from my TV a few feet away. I’ve had to rush off from my laptop screen to the TV like once or twice thanks to the hypertension-generating sounds. I hate watching games of this nature, especially when it’s the Super Eagles playing. Somehow I’m not a big fan of the Super Eagles, probably because I always feel they’d disappoint and they sure do times without number. I know it sounds unpatriotic but I’d rather spend hours and millions of cash watching Arsenal rather than watch the Super Eagles play. Anyways, it’s not that Arsenal FC have been doing great lately. Hopefully, the Super Eagles would prove me wrong today and overturn the deficit. It’s about 33 minutes now and anything can happen, right?

What comes to your mind when you imagine the term, ‘Jackpot’? At first thought, one would imagine hitting a big prize in a casino or the lottery or some good luck situation. The thing about a ‘jackpot’ is the fact it is usually unexpected. Of course that’s the fun in the whole show – the suspense! However, hitting the jackpot could come in varying forms, positive or negative. Some guys in my part of the world also have a funny way of defining ‘jackpot’. We’ll come to that point shortly.

Before long, I was over ST even though I still hoped in my mind that things had turned out differently, it felt good to be free of her. I finally convinced myself to give my relationship with BG a try and things started working out pretty well. We got much closer and towards the end of October 2006, we finally broke the jinx. We had sex, as in real sex. Surprisingly, the experience did not turn out to be as horrific as I had thought it would be, especially considering our ordeal on our failed first attempt. On that fateful day, we both knew in our hearts that we were ready and so we released ourselves to the flow. I had a second thought and probably a third as well about going ahead to take BG’s virginity but she was willing to give it to me this time. The guilt I had always felt about my seeming greed and inconsiderate nature was no longer there and even though the experience was a brief one, it was one that remained forever etched in my memory and hers, I believe. Of course, the blood and the pain were part of the experience but there was a lot more mature tone to it and I felt no regrets of any kind. I had to confirm her feelings about it and I was glad to hear an affirmative report. She was equally glad it had happened. That was probably the defining point of our relationship and at that moment, I was convinced we would last longer than I had ever envisaged, although I had no long term plans in mind. I had turned twenty-one the previous July and I still believed I had nine years to go before jumping into the marriage boat.

However, less than a week after the incident, a strange feeling suddenly beclouded me. I felt there was something wrong somewhere but I couldn’t quite place a finger on it. I spoke with BG on phone a couple of times during that period and she seemed perfect. After a serious soul-searching and finding nothing out of the ordinary, I managed to relax. The unpleasant feeling nevertheless persisted and I convinced myself that it was probably a mood swing that would sort itself out in due course. I had been used to mood swings all my adolescent life and it was hardly unusual for a boy like me who happened to come from a broken home. I quickly shrugged off the feeling, suppressing it to the best of my ability.


By the first week of November, I felt curious and asked BG if she had seen her period lately. I have always been a very overly inquisitive person and I practically knew the dates BG had her periods, even before we ever had sex and from my calculations, she had a near perfect cycle. The distance between her periods hardly ever exceeded twenty eight or twenty nine days and I came to learn that was a most perfect situation for a girl. BG was totally unaware I studied that much about her personality and we had an inside joke where I would usually predict her periods and they would come exactly when I had predicted or at best a day earlier or later. But this time, she told me she was expecting the ‘flow’ that weekend. It was a Tuesday and I recalled her last period had come exactly twenty nine days before. The Friday of that week would have implied a thirty-two day gap which was pretty unusual for her. She did not realize this nor did she seem to be bothered and I could not express my concern on the issue to her. I hoped in my heart that the ‘flow’ would come by the weekend as she had predicted.

The weekend came and I decided to give my heart a rest. I did not call her all through, deciding to call her on Monday, hoping that she would have been heavy with the flow by then and thus give my heart a big lift. She spared me the wait by calling me on Sunday to tell me she was still yet to ‘see her period’ as she put it. I felt a sudden chill pass through me. I did not want to believe she could be pregnant. She was too innocent, too naïve, too ‘small’ to get pregnant for heaven’s sake. Besides, it had only been one act. She had been a virgin until then and were virgins supposed to get pregnant on the first attempt? I had a million questions running through my head but no answers were forthcoming. I thought of the consequences that awaited me if my worst fears were confirmed. I would break my mother’s heart. My father would probably kill me. I would be an object of scorn and the laughing stock of all the girls I had previously dated, rebuffed or treated badly. My friends would be disappointed in me. Sam would have the last laugh. The last point had me wondering deeply. My relationship with Sam had lost its previous spark ever since BG and I began dating and what would he say or think after hearing that I had gotten BG pregnant. The situation was crazy. Plain crazy!

I quickly calmed myself down and decided there was probably an explanation for what was happening. What if BG’s body system was adjusting to her new status as an ex-virgin? Maybe girls were expected to have changes on their menstrual cycle after they started having sex. What if God was trying to test me? What if BG was trying to test me? Perhaps she had ‘seen her period’ already and was just pulling my leg. I held on strongly to the last thought and hoped to God that it was the situation. I realized however that BG was not one for making such jokes. Ordinarily, she would have called me with excitement at the first sight of blood she spotted. However, I prayed this case was an exception and I struggled desperately not to get drowned in my fear. I convinced BG that her body system was probably adjusting and things would be okay. I asked her to relax even though my heart was completely on fire. I did not ever mention anything as regards a possibility of pregnancy to her. I was glad she was reassured by my words. It was best not to let her realize how scared I was, I decided.

By mid-week the situation was the same and I began contemplating she went for a pregnancy test. She called me on Thursday and that phone call was the beginning of severe trauma. I was in class when the call came in and I had to sneak out to take it.
“Geebee, I need to see you urgently” she said in a most sullen voice that clearly showed that all was not well. I sensed there was danger but composed myself.
“Really? I’m in class right now. What’s the matter? Don’t you have lectures today?” I asked, desperately trying to conceal the apprehension I felt.
“Please, leave whatever you’re doing and come now. I’m on my way to your place” she said before ending the call abruptly. I had heard a sob underneath her tone before the line went dead and I needed no one to tell me the bubble had burst.

I made it to my house in record time to find BG sitting in front of my house looking like she was carrying the world on her shoulders and indeed she was at that moment.
“How are you?” I asked calmly. I knew the look on my face was far from reassuring this time. I had grown tired of trying to show a strength that really wasn’t there. BG simply sighed and reached into her bag and produced a folded piece of paper which she offered me. I needed no soothsayer to tell me what it was. I sat beside her and collected the paper. It was a lab test result and as I opened it, I spotted the word ‘POSITIVE’ clearly written in the HCG/Pregnancy column. I heaved a deep sigh. I was undone at last. I had hit the jackpot at a very wrong time. Only God would help me.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES

PS – The match is over and the Super Eagles could not at least try to salvage a point. Argentina 1, Nigeria 0. Tragic! Hope y’all have a wonderful World Cup experience.

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EPISODE 30 – A TIME TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

Before I begin, I’d like to inform y’all that this blog has been nominated for BEST PERSONAL BLOG on the Nigerian Blog Awards. Now, that certainly thrills me. I was nominated in three categories of the awards last year but failed to win in any. Annoying, right? You bet! I remember I was just a relatively new blogger then and was nominated alongside some heavyweights so it was so easy not to win. lol. Let’s hope things turn out differently this time and that’s only gonna happen if y’all VOTE FOR ME. So go ahead and vote THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES for BEST PERSONAL BLOG by clicking HERE. Voting begins on May 31 so be sure to pop in and vote for your boy. Thank you. On that note, let’s begin Episode 30 of THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

Life sometimes throws a painful reality in our faces and that happens to be the fact that the things we desire most just somehow elude us. It could be that coveted position, that plum job, that business deal or whatever. On a more personal level, it could be the fact that a girl you so much desire happens to be with another man or the other way round. These things hurt real bad but the irony of life is that they just seem destined to always happen even to the very best of us.

I met ST by sheer coincidence during the period I was contemplating leaving BG. It was at a party during the Christmas season of 2005. She was not exceptionally pretty but she had a good height and a nice figure, one that would make any guy look twice, well except the guy was blind or gay. ST was the chic all the guys wanted to groove with on the dance floor and I couldn’t help nodding and smiling to myself as I watched the girl have fun and get a good dose of attention from the guys. Of course there were other girls at the party but somehow she happened to be the type who felt more comfortable with the guys. At a point in the party, she came to sit beside me, panting heavily. I noticed she was quite exhausted.
“You’re really something,” I remarked.
“Yeah, I love dancing” she said. “Besides, I’ve not partied for a good while.”
I simply smiled and took another swig from my beer, wondering if going into much conversation with her would be a good idea. I really did not want to seem to her like all the other guys in the house fighting for her attention.
“Lord, I’m thirsty” she said looking around for any of the waiters.
“I don’t think this would help” I offered, showing her the bottle in my hand in an attempt at humour.
She frowned. “Nah, I don’t drink, especially not Stout”
“I see” I said. “It’s actually medicinal. You should try it sometime.”
Fortunately, she got a pack of juice from a passing waiter and drank a good deal of its content before setting the pack down with a deep sigh. “Now, that’s better.”

We sat in silence for a while, watching the party rock.
“Don’t you dance?” she asked at last.
I had hardly expected such a question. “I do but the dance floor over there looks a little too rough” I explained. “I prefer the smooth stuff.”
“Really? That’s unusual” she remarked.
“Just kidding” I said. “But really, I prefer a less-crowded dance floor”
We spoke for sometime and danced together as well. For the rest of the party, we had a good deal of conversation and to my greatest surprise she ignored every other guy who tried to get her attention. I wondered if I had not attracted unnecessary 'beef' from the guys by suddenly taking her away from them. ST did not seem bothered however as she stuck with me. I felt pretty lucky but I did not see the possibility of anything serious happening between us. I never really like girls who were used to so much attention from guys and ST definitely fit that bill.

Over the next few weeks, we began to talk on phone once a while. Our chats were usually interesting and I realized I enjoyed talking to her. We never brought romance into our discussions. In fact, I never bothered to ask her if she was in a relationship and she never bothered to ask me either. I discovered that I felt more comfortable that way even though I also found myself wondering if this girl had a thing for me or was just out to have a good time with a new guy. We never saw each other until about four months later and she actually told me she would love to visit me. At this point, I realized ST was interested in me and I had to admit to myself that I was glad that was the case. On her first visit, I played the perfect host, making her as comfortable as possible. That day, I realized there was a strong chemistry between us but I decided to keep things simple. It was a pretty difficult situation to handle especially considering the fact that she was practically flashing me her ‘green lights’ but I knew I would not want to get serious with her and I thought it best not to take advantage of her.

About a week later, she called me up and said she would love to visit me again. I agreed and this time, I knew it would be hard to resist her. I was right. Despite my efforts to play the perfect host once more, the sexual tension was evident and by the time I held and kissed her, she did not give the slightest resistance. We made love right there and while we lay in bed after the lovemaking, my thoughts went to BG who had told me she was ‘finally ready’ a few days earlier. I had a strong feeling it would be better if I let ST know I was in a serious relationship just so that she could totally push off any ideas of anything serious going on between us. I didn’t mind having flings but I could not be involved in more than one serious relationship at a time, especially considering the fact that I was just twenty.
“ST, I must tell you something” I began.
“What is it?” she said, still lying on my chest.
“I am in a relationship” I said. “I just thought I’d let you know.”
She shot me a furious look and without a word, got up and headed for my bathroom where she locked herself up and had a good cry. I stood at the door all the while, pleading with her. I explained that I had never thought we would go this far and things had happened so fast.

After she left, I wondered if it would have been better to keep quiet and not tell her about my relationship. However, I had decided to be truthful and as it appeared, I had hurt her by being truthful. I had become very fond of ST but I believed I owed it to her to be honest and that was what I had done. My friends hardly helped my dilemma when I related the story to them. They accused me of being foolish and not behaving like the player that I was. At a point, their words began to make sense. Perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut and let nature run its course. Besides, how was I sure ST gave a damn if I was in a relationship or not? I realized I had spoilt everything by opening my mouth and sometimes I still wonder how things would have gone with ST had I kept my mouth shut. As they say, what you don’t know can’t kill you.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

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EPISODE 29 – ALMOST DOESN’T COUNT (OR DOES IT?)

I’d bet you have heard this line a million times or more. In fact, a female RnB act actually did a song on this sometime ago. Was it Brandy or so? Remind me if you know for sure. Now, imagine a scenario where you are a hundred percent sure you’d get something or reach a particular destination and at the last minute or just when you’re so close, some unfortunate twist of fate spoils everything and renders all your efforts futile. I wonder what could hurt more.

In light of the above, I’m tempted to excite my football senses and those of similar soccer fans (Eddee, what’s up?) and speak on the English Premiership and how Chelsea FC clinched the crown in style last Sunday. Let’s imagine somehow by a twist of fate they had drawn that last match against Wigan. Manchester United who had been so close on their heels, trailing by a single point for a good while would have easily snatched the title on the very last day of the league courtesy of their win over Stoke City. What would we have said then? “Oh, Chelsea almost got the title” but then, they would have settled for a most undeserving second place and all they would have gotten was the sympathy of their fans but not the much deserved title so I want to believe that truly, ‘almost’ doesn’t count. Meanwhile, Barcelona and Real Madrid are in a very similar situation and let’s see if we would have to say ‘almost’ when the Spanish La Liga ends this weekend. Enough of soccer said.

Now, relate this to the a ‘Who wants to be a Millionaire’ Nigerian franchise scenario where the guy on the hot seat is a question away from ten million naira. Okay, let’s be more realistic, say five million. Say what? Yeah, I know some guy won the whole ten million naira once but trust me, such things happen only once in a lifetime so forget that one. Now, our man already has two million naira in the bag courtesy of having answered the 13th question correctly and he is about to answer the 14th question that would fetch him a cool five million and probably take him further closer to the jackpot, and somehow he’s not sure of the answer and has previously used all his life lines. However, he decides to take the gamble, perhaps due to greed or the prompting of what he thinks was the Holy Spirit speaking in his mind. He goes for one of the options and Frank Edoho goes like:
“Is that your final answer?” with that stupid smile he usually has on his face.

Our man ponders for a while, bites his fingers a little, runs the same fingers through his greasy hair and bites them again. Disgusting, right? Yeah, I know but trust me, in the ‘Who wants to be a Millionaire’ hot seat you’d probably do something worse like picking your nose and licking up what comes out of it absent-mindedly.
“I think it’s B but my mind tells me it is C” our man says as though Frank would tell him the answer or the answer would come to him by the verbal expression of his thoughts.
“You have no lifelines left” Frank says, “and if you choose the wrong answer you go back to N250,000. You could walk away with two million.”
Our man wants to walk away but cannot resist the urge of trying. Like hell, five million naira (or ten million for that matter) sounds a whole lot better than two million. Besides, he’s got an inkling; a strong conviction in his spirit that he is going to walk away with ten million naira that day. Have a little faith, brother, he tells himself.
“I’ll go with C” he says in a defiant voice.
“Final answer?” Frank asks.
“Final answer” our man says, his voice not too convincing.

Frank looks at the man and it’s obvious he admires the man’s courage (or stupidity as the case may be) and smiles again. “Mr. Man,” he begins. “Option D was not the correct answer.” He pauses for effect, and then continues. “If you had chosen Option B, you would have been wrong.” The man heaves a deep sigh of relief and mutters an inaudible ‘Thank you Lord’. The members of the audience shift in their seats nervously as though they would have a share of the man’s eventual winnings.

Frank continues “The answer to the question is . . . We’ll now take a commercial break.” Sounds of “Awww” spread through the seated audience and of course the viewers at home. To cut the long story short, the commercial break ends and the show comes back on air only for Frank Edoho to inform the contestant that the correct answer was Option A and not C, thus sending our man falling from a comfortable N2 million to N250,000. WTF! But he almost won N2 million, at least he had gotten to N2 million and could have walked away. Thus, he almost walked away with N2 million but actually left the stage with N250,000. Almost doesn’t count. Now, let’s return to THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

By February 2006, BG and I were still involved. I had resolved to push away the idea of finally having sex with her and taking away her virginity. For crying out loud, the thought of it was beginning to make me cringe. I had never slept with a virgin in my previous twenty years and I had previously heard stories that it was a nasty experience and there was always a lot of pain and bloodshed (Pardon me, bleeding) involved and I was one who really hated inflicting pain or the sight of blood for that matter. However, I was sure BG was bound to give in to me sooner or later. That confidence had been further boosted after she had actually offered ‘it’ to me a few months before. I had declined back then because I realized she wanted to give in to me out of fear of losing me and it made me feel selfish. My maturity actually paid of eventually as she finally decided she was ready by February, not on my prompting but of her own volition. I couldn’t have been happier. But one hurdle remained. I had not ever slept with a virgin and thoughts of stories I had heard on the experience made me wish she could get rid of her virginity some other way and come back to serve me the ‘sweeter experience’.

The D-day finally came and we got booked into a small hotel. I felt my house (father’s house actually) would have been the wrong place to carry out such an act and I wanted all the privacy we could get. Simon’s house was an option but BG refused that option. We had all the preliminaries, talked, laughed but when it came down to the real thing, it turned out to be probably the worst ordeal. You don’t need the details but the truth of the matter was, as much as I tried on that day, I could not get in. I was ALMOST THERE! In reminiscence, I probably should have tried some other way (don’t bother asking, pervert! lol) but then, that’s where experience comes in. She could probably have helped matters but she was by far the most inexperienced in such activities and it further stressed her level of innocence, the one thing that continued to get me frustrated and at the same time attracted to her. In the end, we gave up, our clothes soaking wet from the perspiration our bodies had generated in the process of trying to break a ‘virgin wall’.

I realized I would have no choice but to continue waiting for her to be ‘fully’ ready and in the interim, I had a few flings but never intended for any to be overly serious. It was in the process that I met ST, a girl I still remember with a fondness till date.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

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EPISODE 28 – MUCH ADO ABOUT VIRGINITY

New Followers of this Series could begin at Episode 24 - Recap

The Catholics seem to have an infatuation with the Virgin Mary and I sometimes find myself wondering whom they reverence more – The Son of God himself, Jesus Christ or his mother, the Virgin Mary. Whichever way the answer goes, it is an indisputable fact that the mother of Jesus Christ (often times referred to as ‘Mother of God’) is held in the highest esteem by those who profess the Catholic faith. I have often wondered what made Mary so special. Was it the fact that she conceived our Lord? Possibly. But then, anyone could have been chosen by God to carry His Son and that would have made Mary just like every other woman in the Bible. Then, was Mary special because she believed the Angel Gabriel who brought the news and totally surrendered herself to God’s will? Maybe. But then, any other woman could have believed the Angel and become the mother of our Saviour. So what makes Mary indeed special? Have you ever considered that it could be as a result of her virginity as at the time of her conception? Now, I think I’d like to go with that. Our Lord, Jesus Christ was conceived in the fresh womb of a woman who had never had carnal knowledge of a man. Why did God not choose just any woman or some woman with one or two kids to carry His Son? God chose Mary, thereby further stressing the sacredness of virginity.



From time immemorial, there has always been a strong reference attached to virginity and it dates back to Bible times and probably beyond. It was always every man’s desire to marry a young maiden, as virgins were called at the time. In fact, in some portions of the Bible, maidens who had been defiled before marriage were recommended to be put to death. In Africa, traditional sacrifices have been made (and still are) with virgins. I have also heard that in Islam, it is believed that any man who dies in the cause of jihad (Holy War against the infidels) would be rewarded in Al-Jana (Heaven) with seven virgins or something like that. Now that sounds funny, right? How many guys like virgins today? I know I don’t. lol. All these theories go a long way to prove the sacredness of virginity. However, the key point to note here is that the virginity in question has to do with the females and not the males, so I wonder if that implies that young men are free to defile themselves at any point in their lives without necessarily feeling like they have committed an offense deserving of death. Well, I wouldn’t know.

The aforesaid only shows how things should be or had always been. However today, it is a totally different story. The theory of the sacred virgin has been totally displaced like a pack of cards. In fact, it is almost a taboo to still be a virgin at a certain ages thus girls in their late teens or twenties who still find themselves with their virginity intact have come to be ashamed of something they really should be proud of. How hilarious! The Sacredness of Virginity has now become a thing of the past! At least, that is what I discovered a good number of years ago.

I lost my virginity (that’s if guys really could be called virgins) at a rather early stage to a much older girl. I was about fifteen then. Sometimes memories of the experience still make me smile and sigh at the same time. One thing I took from that experience however was the instant surge of desire in me to always want to indulge in sexual activity even though I never had the opportunity to try again for a good while after my first experience. I also began to feel inclined to indulge in a few more vices I probably would never have attempted. Now, I wonder if losing my ‘virginity’ was responsible for opening the doors to vices I began to indulge in. lol. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been if I had remained sexually inexperienced till date (I heard there are men like that! Wao!). Would I have been a better person? Maybe. The years rolled by and I had relationships, some sexual, some non-sexual and as I grew, my confidence grew and so did the sexual experiences. Fast forward to 2005 and my relationship with BG, my virgin girlfriend.


UJ’s sudden exit from my life had me left with no choice but to return to BG and I was more determined to deal with the virginity thing once and for all. I had read a good number of romance novels and magazines and practically convinced myself that a romantic relationship devoid of sexual activity was stupid and meaningless, a theory I tried ceaselessly to sell to BG. She however seemed resolute on her stand to keep her virginity till her wedding night. I could hardly understand what any nineteen year old girl would still be doing as a virgin when her peers were busy having all the fun in the world. I thought of breaking up with her on many occasions but rescinded on the decision especially because I did not want to repeat what my friend Sam had done. At a point however, I decided to damn my considerations and tell her to either give in to my request or watch me walk away. While I pondered on the thought, BG made the most unexpected request. On that fateful day she told me she was ready.
“Are you serious?” I asked, feeling butterflies in my tummy.
“Yes” she said, smiling.

I was not convinced. “What influenced this decision?” I probed further.
She shrugged and looked away from me. “I guess I love you too much to lose you.”
Those words crushed my heart and I felt like a greedy animal. I realized I would be taking undue advantage of her by allowing her give herself to me before she was ready.
“Geebee, do you see us ever getting married?” she asked suddenly.
I had to think for a good while before answering. She really didn’t seem like my dream girl. I had always envisaged my future wife as a tall (BG was 5’2 while I was 6’1), beautiful (BG was okay but scored 60% as far as beauty was concerned in my books which wasn’t really a bad score but then, you know . . .), academically smart (BG was on the average), heroine in bed (BG was none of that) and above all, a book lover and a writer (BG never gave a hoot about books).
“It’s possible” I heard myself say, “but marriage is the last thing on my mind right now.” I was twenty and believed I still had ten years to go.
We remained silent for a good while until I decided to relieve the tension. “Look, let’s just forget about the sex thing for now, okay” I said, meaning it.
“But you want it” BG said, and I saw the sincerity in her eyes, making me feel all the more guilty.
“Yes but I guess the time’s not right” I said, surprising myself.
We kissed passionately right then and I realized I really did care about this girl. Sex could wait for all I cared at that moment as I convinced myself that we would manage. We did not have to wait for too long. Fast forward to February 2006.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

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EPISODE 27 – BLIND DATING

The concept of ‘blind dating’ remains a most thrilling and interesting phenomenon that millions of people all over the world have engaged in at one time or the other and in fact still continue to practice even today. Imagine the feeling of flirting with someone you have not seen and the seeming endless ordeal of having to imagine the person’s physical appearance as you are only confined to the knowledge of that person’s voice or handwriting depending on your mode of conversation, either via letters or phone calls as the case may be. One thing you cannot take away from the concept of blind dating however is the fact that it is usually so much fun, well at least while it lasts. It somehow gives the partners the opportunity to explore each other’s fantasies under the cover of invisibility and of course there is the mutual respect both partners tend to have for each other in the course of this ‘no-physical-or-visual-contact’ kind of relationship. However, the blind dating idea goes a long way to prove the ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ theory, especially when the ‘blind partners’ happen to meet at last. The success of the ensuing relationship thereafter depends on how they handle the open relationship.



I explored with the idea of blind dating by chance sometime in late 2005. It was through a very popular request show on TV at the time. It was not as though I had any serious intentions but I thought it would be an amusing experience so I sent my details to the specified number requesting for any cute girls within my age grade at the time. I watched on intently waiting for my details to scroll past the T.V screen. A little while after, my details actually appeared on the screen and within seconds, my phone became the hottest line as calls, messages and of course ‘flashes’ kept me as busy as a bee. By the end of the day, I had secured no less than twelve blind dates and I had to begin the long ordeal of scrutiny. At last, I narrowed the list down to about seven girls. I had a pretty interesting relationship with all of them and in fact, I am still in contact with about four of them till date. I ended up meeting three of them and the unfolding experiences proved to me that indeed, a blind date is best kept ‘blind’. Due to time and space, I would share just one experience.

The most serious relationship of all perhaps was with U.J, a cute girl who resided in Surulere. Coincidentally, she shared the same name with a girl I had dated back in UME class. At the time, she was nineteen and trying to get into University and over the course of our communication, I learnt we shared a similar taste in writing and some other stuff. Back then, I knew only one or two female folk who were interested in the art and so I was instantly won over by my curiosity. I really wanted to know this girl who had a writer’s dream like me. We became an item almost instantly, having phone conversations and chatting on a most frequent basis. My pocket of course suffered the cost of always having to visit cybercafés to chat online with U.J and always having to keep airtime running on my phone. At a point, I settled on the cheaper option of making long calls to her from call centers. The mobile operators had not thought it wise then to introduce the ‘midnight free calls’ thingy.

BG and I were still rolling with the punches of our seemingly frustrating relationship. I believed the root cause of our problems happened to be her decision to hold on tightly to her virginity, thus denying me the most sought pleasure in a romantic relationship. Somehow, at the time, I simply could not understand what any nineteen year old girl would still be keeping her virginity for and in spite of my pleas and persuasions, BG remained resolute on her decision to ‘keep her virginity till her wedding night’ like she always put it then. Oh, how I hated those lines! As such, I was on the constant lookout for a replacement for BG, one I hoped to find in one of my blind dates, especially U.J who seemed to match every quality I desired in a chic. On one of our online chats, she had confirmed to me that she was no longer a virgin. Now, that was good news to my ears. We continued our ‘blind dating’ for almost three months before we decided it was time we saw each other face to face. We agreed that she would come over to my end. I believe I was the happiest twenty-year old alive during this period and I waited impatiently for that day, nearly driving myself nuts as varying forms of imaginations flooded my mind. I wondered about her looks (she had told me she looked quite good), her carriage and of course I had begun to picture in my obscene mind the lovemaking scenes we would probably share.

True, the day finally came and we met. She was indeed the perfect picture I had of her. In fact, she was better than what I expected and I could not thank my lucky stars enough. I decided then that BG could eat her virginity for all I cared! Meeting U.J in the flesh however was not to be the fairy tale I had imagined as things suddenly began to go awry. We spoke on a good lot of stuff ranging from books to movies to stuff we had written and planned to write. She even composed one of my poems into a song! I was sure I had met the perfect woman at last. We hung out together on a few more occasions and at some point, we shared a few kisses and touches. However, something seemed to be different. We simply could not strike the balance we had struck all the while we had maintained a no-visual-contact relationship. I noticed this and desperately hoped she hadn’t as I still believed we could work out. The calls and chats began to thin down and gradually, boredom began to set in.

The ice finally broke when she visited me some time later and told me we needed to stop seeing each other as it all seemed like a mistake. She said she wished we had remained friends without meeting each other and I had to agree even though I never told her. It took a little while for me to get over the blow. I called a couple of times but her response was never as cool as it had always been. I dropped offline messages which she never responded to. Before long, all my calls were answered by the mobile operator informing me on the unavailability of the number I was calling. At that point, I knew it was time to hang my gloves, brush the dirt off my shoulders and move on. Fortunately, BG was still around and we continued as usual to ‘roll with the punches’. I maintained contact with a few of my other blind dates but of the few ones I met physically, none appealed to me as U.J had. Perhaps, the incident with U.J had killed the desire to go all the way. I realized I had learnt a good lesson from the experience. Till date, I have not seen or heard from U.J and sometimes I wonder if she was actually real. Perhaps, she was some spirit being sent from beyond this realm to toy with my twenty-year old heart.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES

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EPISODE 26 – CRASHED MARRIAGES

I remember some years back while I was in secondary school, during my fourth year I think, a close classmate confided in me that his father was about to take a third wife. He had been so devastated that my consolatory words hardly had any effect on his heavy heart. I recall that in my attempt ease his pain, I told him that he needed to be thankful for the fact that his father was still married to his mom at least. It was then I told him that my parents had been separated for a good while which was true. My folks had been separated since I was nine and at fourteen, I had still been struggling to come to terms with that fact so I constantly prayed that they would one day come back together. Well, it’s been about eleven years now since that day I discussed with my friend and my prayers are still yet to be answered. In fact, I have since stopped praying as far back as I can remember.


The saying goes, ‘when two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers’. People often relate this saying to parents with issues and how their incessant quarrels tend to have negative effects on their children in the long run. Well, I won’t exactly say I disagree with this opinion but then my brothers and I have somehow managed to survive for almost sixteen years now without our parents living together and come to think of it, I sometimes wonder if things would have been better if the separation had not happened. As at today, I am still not yet convinced and I doubt if I ever will. Funny enough, I think I prefer things this way. Now, I hope someone does not think I’m crazy.

By November 2005, BG and I had been going out for sometime and I was beginning to accept the fact that I was stuck with this girl. Even though I constantly wished I could revert to my old girlfriend-free self, I had to resign to my fate for two major reasons. One, I liked the girl. Her naivety had a way of holding me spellbound for unexplainable reasons and she definitely made good company. Two, I did not want to repeat what my friend Sam had done. Sam’s way out had been to treat her badly and I had condemned that act to no end, thus, I did not think going in the same direction would be a sensible option. Of course, I kept my tab free and had flings with other girls once a while but I made sure I treated BG in the best way I could and that further endeared her to me.

Back on the homefront, Chief (my dad) and his wife, Cyan were having the most turbulent of times. I had always known they would never last and I have to admit that ever since their marriage in late 2001, I had always prayed secretly that something would make them crash. In truth, Cyan was a nice woman. I had no issues with her. The one person I had issues with was my dad. When he and my mum had separated in 1994, I had been about nine years old and could hardly fathom what had really gone wrong but over the years, I got used to the realization, especially as I approached my late teens. I was not particularly upset with either of them especially for the fact that they both remained single and neither of them appeared to give any special thought to remarrying. Chief, of course had a long list of women all through the years but he never made any moves to make anything formal.

Then, Cyan came along sometime in 2000 and she seemed like a nice person like some of the others before her. I was indeed certain her time would soon pass in Chief’s log book just like those before her. I was to be disappointed. To my surprise, my dad who hardly saw any woman beyond a couple of weeks saw this woman for much longer and by 2001, they practically lived together. The greatest shock was to come by late 2001 when I returned from a holiday at my muom's to find photos adorning the living room walls attesting to the fact that Cyan and my dad had been recently married. I was so bitter especially because Chief had not even thought it fair enough to let any of us, his children know about his decision to remarry and worse still, he had the guts to flaunt the photos in our faces! I hated my dad so much at that moment and of course it was so easy to hate Cyan, his new wife. However, her saving grace proved to be the fact that she was a nice woman and even though I tried to convince myself a good number of times that she was playacting, her sincerity was easy to see. Nonetheless, I was angry that my dad had gone ahead to remarry. It felt like being stabbed in the back.

Cyan was about the same age as my dad but she had never had any children even though she had once been married so naturally, my first prayers were that she never had any kids for my dad. Having a step-mum hurt enough and I was certainly not ready for a step-brother or step-sister to further fuel up my burning anger. I realized my wishes were selfish but I wished she had decided to pitch her tent elsewhere. The first cracks in their marriage began to show up within a few weeks. Chief was the kind of man who was hardly satiable. He was from a totally different world and no one was actually good enough for him. Then, he had his women issues too. Cyan endured for sometime until she could not take more and so quarrels were frequent. In truth, I cherished these moments so much as it continually served as a countdown to their break-up. Somehow, I was sure that would happen sooner or later. I believe Cyan decided to stay a little longer out of her desire and desperation to get pregnant – something that never happened.

During the course of Cyan’s stint as my step-mom, I came to understand that my dad was not the type of man any woman could really live with. There were just too many issues with him. By 2004, things had greatly degenerated between them and I spared myself of having to witness their constant troubles by spending more time outside home with my friends and of course, Madam L. On one Sunday in November 2005, they had a fight and that evening she drove off in her car and that was the last I saw of her. I learnt she later came with a relocation-truck to move her stuff. Their marriage was over! I was the happiest twenty-year old on earth that day as I called my brothers to break the news.

One thing however bothered me as I watched my dad’s second marriage crash. I was scared of living this same life and as such, I knew I had to be extremely careful of the choices I made in relationships. I swore never to have a broken home and I decided to do all in my power to ensure that this never happened to me. Again, I began to wonder if I had really made the right choice by dating BG. I realized time alone would tell.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

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EPISODE 25 - COLD FEET

Picture this: You meet this gorgeous looking babe and the strong chemistry between you guys set things in motion pretty faster than you can imagine and before you could spell the words R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P, you begin dating and everything feels so smooth that using phrases like 'made for each other' would sound like an understatement in describing this magical thing you share with this wonderful woman. Then, it gets to a point where all that's left is the 'M' word and all of a sudden, you feel like 'Wao, I'm not sure I'm ready for this!' This is a most usual occurrence especially with the guys and I believe it's a most natural feeling. It's called 'cold feet'. Sometimes, I wonder what the 'feet' has got to do with all this but let's make do with the definition that has been handed down to us. Recently (precisely on 13th February), my elder brother got married to a wonderful and
beautiful lady and I'm so happy for him.


Now, even if he wouldn't say, I want to believe he had his own share of the 'cold feet' thingy. Meanwhile, yours sincerely happened to be the 'best man' and my debut as a 'best man was fantastic. In fact, I found myself forgetting my role a couple of times and thinking I was the groom. lol.

Now, what's the point of this talk about 'cold feet', you'll probably wonder. Again, after much brainstorming, I am convinced it's not only about-to-wed folks that experience this strange phenomenon. It could easily happen to a guy (or girl) who goes into an unplanned or hasty relationship without taking time to make sure it's the right thing to do. Sometimes, it might even be the right thing to do but then, the greed factor could make one begin to regret going into a relationship even before you've settled into it. For example, imagine a guy and a girl officially begin dating on Monday and by Wednesday, he (or she) comes across this heaven-sent girl (or guy) who appears to have all the qualities he (or she) had always dreamed of finding in a partner; qualities which the current partner unfortunately doesn't possess in totality. Now, wouldn't those be grounds for regret and cold feet? Your guess is as good as mine, affirmative or negative as the argument could be won on both sides but let's save that for some other day or preferably, if you want to comment on that, feel free to drop your comment(s).

I believe it is easier to maintain a friendship with the opposite sex without any romantic strings attached than when you involve those strings. Somehow, it just seems to change everything. I still wonder why it’s that way but that’s just the way it is, probably from time immemorial. Remember Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. They had been naked all along and having fun playing with the animals and eating fruits and stuff but when their eyes were opened, what happened? They knew they were naked and hid themselves. I bet that was the origin of the concept of shyness. Now, it’s easy to compare that the period of friendship with the opposite sex with the period before Adam and Eve took the forbidden fruit and compare the involvement of romance between two friends of opposite sex with the period after they ate the forbidden fruit. You could liken the forbidden fruit they ate to the ‘kissing’, ‘smooches’ or even ‘sex’ that usually mark the dawn of romantic relationships in our world today. Once you cross that line, things just stop being the same. Thus, I recommend ‘attraction from a distance’ sometimes. It solves a lot of mysterious post-dating problems.

BG and I began dating officially in a most unexpected manner. Now, that's what a kiss could do to you. While I totally disagree, some folks believe and constantly affirm that the acceptable manner to begin a romantic relationship is by asking a girl out and playing out a scenario like this:

Guy: Baby, I like you very much. In fact, I think I'm falling in love with you.
Girl: (Rolling her eyes) Really? Are you serious?
Guy: (In a most sonorous voice) With all my heart, babe.
Girl: (Shrugging but in her heart, as happy as can be) So what are you trying to say?
Guy: I want you to be my girl.
Girl: (Appears to think for sometime but her heart's really screaming 'YES') I would have to think about it for sometime.
Guy: (Sighs frustratingly) Okay then dear. Take your time but don't keep me waiting for too long. You're like the air I need to breathe . . . .

and bla bla and all that usual jazz people tend to exchange in the course of ‘pre-dating’. Soon, they begin to date and it either leads to marriage after God-knows-how-long or a break-up, which unfortunately happens in the most usual cases.

Anyways, that's the usual scenario but BG and I did not happen like that. Of course the attraction was there, silent as it seemed but all it took to evoke a romantic relationship was a 'kiss'. Read the last paragraph of Episode 23 for better understanding. At the time, I did not want to accept that I was officially involved with BG. I liked her very much but it was obvious she did like me more. I realized I could never keep the 'kissing incident' to myself and I had to tell Simon, my friend. We had practically become room mates by then as I spent more time at his place and confined my presence at home to weekends only. Simon obviously had his reservations and expressed them lightly. I decided to go ahead and let Sam know of the situation because I really would not have wanted him to realize I was dating his girl (ex) behind his back. I wondered if I was supposed to request for his permission to date BG and instantly decided otherwise. It would have been a most stupid action so I took the plunge and told him in a most casual way that BG and I were involved but not seriously. He said he wasn’t dating her and so she was a free bird. I decided to save my face and told him I had no such plans initially (which was really true). Sam simply smiled and told me he was cool. In fact, he re-emphasized that he never liked BG from the start. That sounded like the perfect go-ahead signal.

However, I still had problems in really going ahead with BG in a serious relationship. No sooner had we kissed than I began to wish we could rewind time and remain the way we were. Things just stopped being the same, especially whenever I had a reason to think that the world would believe I snatched my friend's girlfriend, a question I continually argued within my heart on many occasions then. I decided to keep things plain and tell myself and everyone else who cared to ask that BG and I were just friends. What made it much easier to convince myself that ours wasn’t a serious relationship was the fact that we weren’t sleeping together. Our romance was restricted to kisses and touches as she had previously told me that she was a virgin and I was not at all ready to break her barriers. BG on the other hand did not see things the way I did. I had become her knight in shining armour and she was ready to flaunt me to any length. Within a few weeks, her presence in my class was regular, a situation I detested to no end.
“Hey Geebee,” she would say, smiling as she approached my seat.
“Hey, how are you doing?” I would respond.
“I’m alright. Just thought I’d check on you” she’d say.
I would sigh and stare around uncomfortably wondering if any girls in my class were taking notice of her and how she could spoil my chances with them.
“A-actually, I’ll be having lectures soon.” I’d tell her.
“No qualms, I would leave once your lecturer arrives.”
It was a most common practice and usually, she had her way, especially because I did not want her to think I intended to get rid of her which was my real intention. Before long and I began to regret getting involved with her. Within a few weeks, I realized I preferred being friends than being romantically involved. My feet had indeed become freezing cold.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES.

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EPISODE 24 – A RECAP

Recently, I’ve become a fan of Sugarking’s blog and I can’t help wondering where on earth that guy is from. His posts mostly border on his escapades as a young Nigerian guy living overseas and his interminable relations with women of all sorts in JD. Now, lewd and controversial as the posts on his blog tend to be, they have a way of holding me spell bound with laughter and the many readers of this blog would definitely agree with me on this. While I do not intend to focus on Sugarking in this post, I intend to draw a point on how blogging allows you express yourself in any way you desire, especially in ways you never could have done through other means. In fact, I could bet a toe that a good number of bloggers write stuff on their spaces that they wouldn’t dare write anywhere else in order to avoid controversy.




When I began blogging sometime in 2008, I sought an avenue where I could just express myself and write on just anything like I had been doing on my previous webpage. Coupled with my dreams to write some fiction novels and poetry, the idea of an autobiography had always been on my mind for a long while and I thought: Instead of waiting till God-knows-when to begin writing my story, why don’t I start it on my blog? And that was how THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES came about. I decided to do an autobiography of my life beginning with my eighteenth birthday in series format. While the series is mostly based on true events, there are a lot of additions and deductions from the true story and of course, all the names have been changed. Due to my inconsistencies among other factors, we’ve only been able to do twenty three episodes so far and I can’t appreciate my followers and readers (those who began the journey with me, those who hung on for a while and those who are still hanging on among others) enough for being there all this while. This post is actually meant to be a recap of all the episodes of THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES for the benefit of those who have not been able to read through all the previous episodes and to allow for easy understanding and followership in future. Come to think of it, twenty three episodes are not that few after all and I can imagine the stress of having to read through the entire episodes one after the other. Meanwhile, there’s a link to the right of this page that highlights all the episodes till date. That said, here’s a summary of all the previous episodes of THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES for y’all in one post.

The series is dated back to 2003, the year Geebee would turn eighteen and finds himself still struggling to get into University having been stuck at home for about two years already. He relocates to be with his dad and a nice step-mum. He feels caged by his dad, a man who practically refuses to allow him travel to spend some time with his mom. Geebee feels cheated especially because his two brothers, Ben and Steve hardly face the same situation as Ben is far away in University and Steve who just left secondary school enjoys his time with their mom. The fact that his dad (Chief) also has personality issues of his own make it difficult for Geebee to feel comfortable being in the same vicinity. Thus, he constantly longs for his freedom which he assumes would only come about once he makes it into University. He thus passes the time engaging in youthful exuberances of all sorts having teenage affairs with girls in a UME coaching center and taking on other vices like smoking and drinking among others. Finally, on his dad’s prompting, he resorts to opt for a part-time University programme at a location close to his home. Left without much of a choice due to his haste to get into University as soon as possible, he grabs the opportunity. By January 2004, Geebee finds himself in a University system meant for adults and has to endure the pain of receiving lectures with much older people. However, there are some of the younger age grade people in the system as well and he bands himself with many and together, they try to create a more youthful University environment, and to a great extent they succeed.

Being in University proves to be the perfect escape route and soon, Geebee hardly feels different from his counterparts in a full-time University system. The only drawback stems from the fact that the part-time system confines lectures to evening periods only, thus granting a good dose of boredom in the daytime during which he finds himself stuck at home attending to one domestic need or the other. Thus, his only release becomes the period spent at school in the evenings. He begins to excel academically and command some level of attention from his peers, the young and old alike. He however prefers to deal at best with the slightly older ladies who fall just a little above his age grade. Meanwhile, on the home front, his dad and step mum continue to have ceaseless problems and an impending break up seems inevitable. He soon finds solace in company of colleagues in his age grade like Simon and Sam. Simon happens to be the first friend he meets in University and he finds out that they are perfect contrasts to each other with Simon being more on the introverted side and still a virgin at nineteen much to Geebee’s chagrin. In the end, believing he’s acting to his friend’s benefit, Geebee tries hard to initiate him into one or two vices. Sam on the other hand is the outgoing and boastful type who is more than willing to engage in youthful vices of all types and he and Geebee tend to fit into each other’s ways much better.

Geebee is not spared the attention of a few of the more mature women in the part time University system and it is in the course of this that he meets Lovina, a much more older woman who happens to be married with five children. Their relationship is originally planned to be purely academic where he is expected to assist her with extra lectures on difficult courses but in the process they begin to share so much stories together that an affair begins. The affair runs on for a good while and Lovina proves to be the perfect ‘sugar mummy’ providing for all his financial, emotional and sexual needs to the extent that he dares to defy his ‘Almighty dad’ and begins to sleep out once a while in the pretense that he was at Simon’s place. As much as they try to keep the affair secret, things begin to get out of hand due to Lovina (Madam L)’s constant nagging and inability to keep matters simple. Soon, Geebee realizes he is in trap and the guilt of sleeping with a much older woman who happens to be married nearly drives him insane. Eventually, he is able to escape from Lovina’s clutches and get his life back in order but not for too long. He gets a few jobs in between the period to ease the boredom of being at home during the daytime and further take his mind off his travails. The experiences at those jobs equally add to the troubles and joys among other things.

Time flies in its usual form and soon, the first school year is over. Geebee and his colleagues find themselves in the second year in University and it feels pretty good to know that more fresh students would be coming in to join them. He makes up his mind to focus on his academics and for once shun all sort of past bad behaviour he had initially engaged in, especially after the close shave with Madam L, whom he still secretly dreads and desperately avoids. He soon meets BG, Sam’s girlfriend who gets admitted into her first year in the University and over time, he is disappointed to find out that Sam hardly cares about his supposed girlfriend, often ignoring her and treating her as a non existent being especially in presence of his friends. In actual fact, Sam feels BG is a distraction and would likely serve as a clog in his quest for other ‘fresher chics’ on campus. BG however appears to be undeterred or hardly even notices Sam’s annoying attitude towards her. However, Geebee begins to feel uncomfortable about his friend’s behaviour and advices him to either break up with BG or stop treating her badly. Sam drags his feet for a good while but eventually summons up the courage to break up with BG, much to the latter’s disappointment.

Geebee soon regrets his action on convincing Sam to break up with BG after watching BG closely enough to realize that she was indeed hurt and he tries to cover up for this by confessing to her what he did and explaining the reason for his action. BG is shocked to find out that Sam had not broken with her because he wanted to but because his friend had convinced him to but still she can’t help agreeing with Geebee that it was the right thing to do especially since she knew he had been treating her badly all along but simply ignored the reality of the situation owing to the fact that she really cared about him. He was her first boyfriend and she had not wanted to lose him. Geebee and BG begin to get pretty close and in between he realizes that he might have made an enemy of Sam by convincing him to break up with his girlfriend only to begin running all over town with her. He attempts to address this issue by reuniting Sam and BG as friends again. In spite of BG’s initial aversion and stubbornness, she and Sam mend fences and begin to talk again, albeit as friends and nothing more. Finally, Geebee finds the much sought peace in the knowledge that he had done the right thing in asking Sam to break up with BG and the fact that they were not enemies anymore had an added good effect.

He begins to hang out much more frequently with BG, however without any romantic strings attached due to the fact that he did not want to get romantically involved again for a good while as he still feels haunted by his affair with Madam L. He also still nurses a feeling that Sam has a grudge against him for asking him to dump his girl only for him to jump into the picture and he tries to avoid BG without much success. BG continues to keep close and the walls around his heart finally crumble. The ice is finally broken when they share their first kiss in a most unexpected manner.

So that's a full recap for you guys. Let's call it 'starting all over again' with THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES. I hope to be much more regular with the episodes from henceforth, say with like three or four episodes per month, So help me God. . . at least, I was able to do at least two posts in January like I promised. I guess that's a mark of progress, right? lol. So, January's over now and I wish you all a wonderful February.

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE GEEBEE CHRONICLES

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A THOUGHT FOR NIGERIA

Before I say anything, I need to stress the fact that I am broke! As in, I need money like a plant needs water. On Saturday, I understood what it means to be really broke. I was on my way to Lekki Phase 1 and somehow I made a big mistake of entering a public bus. Well, it wasn’t really a mistake in the true sense of it because I had a choice but somehow in being careful of my financial capability at that time, I decided to do what I had to do. I had an appointment for 12 noon and I ended up arriving at my appointment location at around 1.45pm. Reason: Traffic! It was at this point that I really understood what the recent roadwork around the Lekki roundabout had really caused. Bloggers who live in Lekki and its environs would definitely understand what I am talking about. There’s been a move lately to eliminate the popular Lekki roundabout and this action has indeed caused untold hardship for commuters all over the Lekki axis. It’s been an ordeal and the only option in order not to arrive late for appointments remains taking a motorbike (otherwise known as ‘okada’). The solution sounds pretty easy except for the fact that the exorbitant fares would nearly drive you nuts, especially if you happen to be a ‘little broke’ like I was on that day. I just couldn’t afford to pay N400 from Ajah to Lekki Phase 1 and so for N70, I had to endure the hardship of sitting in a stuffy bus for almost two hours for a journey that ordinarily shouldn’t have taken less than twenty minutes. Tragic!



This post should have been done over two weeks ago in celebration of Nigeria’s independence but I just couldn’t find the time but then the fact that we are still in October makes it just okay to write a post in commemoration of our beloved country’s 49th birthday. I attended a church service on 4th of October that was more or less an ‘independence celebration service’ judging by my pastor’s sermon and other activities that took place in church on that day. In the course of listening to my pastor’s message, I got a further confirmation that indeed Nigeria still has a bright future and the fact that most of us have lost faith in this country hardly helps matters. In his sermon, my pastor explained that Nigeria has indeed got a wonderful future and a simple equation is all the country needs to get on the right track. The much publicized re-branding slogan should be analyzed first. Nigeria as a country in the effort to re-brand its bastardized image touts the new logo: Nigeria; Good People, Great Nation! Indeed! Our beloved country, instead of being congratulated and cheered by the international community has over the past months been ridiculed and attacked by the same international community with strong condemnation of our ‘re-branding exercise’ being an exercise in futility, and unfortunately, I agree with this judgment. Nigeria as a nation needs a total overhaul of its economy and not a foolish re-branding exercise. The so-called re-branding is like ‘wearing new clothes for a child who’s not had a bath in years’. Why not bath the kid first and then put some new clothes on him. My conclusion is Nigeria needs total deliverance.

In his sermon, my pastor explained that the ‘Nigeria; Good People, Great Nation’ catchphrase is an obvious farce at best because no nation can become truly great without the correct leadership. The future of the nation rests largely on the leadership since those in control of the country in a strong way determine what happens in the country. It is pretty easy to conclude that our lives and future as a nation are in the hands of these leaders and their actions go a long way in determining how far our nation would go and our rating in the sphere of things globally. Rather than pose with the unrealistic logo, it is best revised as: ‘Nigeria; Good People, Great Leadership, Great Nation’ for it is only when good people have the right leadership that a great nation could truly emerge. We need to have leaders who truly care about the affairs of the nation and not just themselves and their families. It is common practice in Nigeria today to rejoice whenever a close relative or someone you happen to know gets to a position of power politically. You find Nigerians with relatives who are local government chairmen, commissioners, governors or even local government councilors among other political positions thanking God continually and making statements like “Thank God o! It’s our time to enjoy!” Even devout Christians and Muslims who claim they are not corrupt make these same statements unconsciously. I now find myself wondering what these people mean when they decide it’s time to enjoy. Literarily, this means that your relative who gets to a position of power is there basically to serve JUST YOU and meet ONLY YOUR needs. If he does anything contrary, you begin to heap curses on him and claim ‘he has bitten the fingers that fed him’ especially if you happen to have done one little favour or more for him in the past. How pathetic? How would he meet your extraordinary needs without dipping his fingers into public money? How would your relative or friend perform his sworn responsibilities to the country when he has to think of what you and the rest of his siblings, family members and friends are asking him for?

The average Nigerian has come to totally subscribe to the ‘life is all about me’ policy. We are so individualistically-minded that we do not give a hoot about to others so long as we are okay. No country can move forward with this mentality. This mindset would only bring evil and all that come with evil as well. Leading a nation entails working towards achieving a collective goal or agenda. Every member of a group has individual goals and agendas too but for that group to succeed there is a strong need to place the general and collective agenda above any individual agenda. The moment a leader begins to place his personal agenda (his family’s and friends’ inclusive) above the collective agenda, he has defeated the purpose of the group’s collective agenda and that group cannot succeed. That is the basic problem Nigeria has today. Every one goes up there to represent himself (or herself) and not the country. If only our leaders would have a heart for the people, we would realize all our long awaited dreams and Nigeria will truly become the ‘great nation’ it claims to be. I believe there is a great future for our nation and we can begin to effect the much needed change from this moment. In a spiritual dimension, I was made to understand that the ‘49’ mark is pretty significant especially because it marks the dawn of the year of jubilee which is the 50th year. According to the Holy Bible, in the 50th year, all slaves in Israel are set free and a great feast is declared unto the Lord as a celebration of the dawn of a new generation. The fact that Nigeria is celebrating her 49th year of independence should indeed mark a new beginning for each and every one of us as citizens of this country. We are at the dawn of the year of jubilee and we need to tap into the spiritual significance of this and work towards the realization of all the promises associated with this occurrence.

It is also worthy of note that the salvation of our country doesn’t just rest with a great leadership. It actually begins with us as citizens of this great country. What is our attitude when it has to do with things that pertain to Nigeria? It is so easy to hear statements like “Nigeria is a useless country.” “I hate this country.” “Fuck this country.” “Nigeria can never be better,” etc. Realistic as these statements may sound, it does little to help the nation move forward. In a spiritual dimension, our confessions greatly matter and as such, it greatly helps when we make positive confessions about our lives and our country. We need to begin to believe in our country, Nigeria once again. It is so funny that citizens of Nigeria hardly pay any significant attention to the words of the national anthem and the national pledge. These are perhaps the words with the strongest spiritual significance yet most of us hardly take this fact into cognizance. One secret of the world’s greatest countries is the love of the citizens for their country. If citizens of Nigeria truly love their country, there are so many things that are done today that would not be done. We hear of endless cases of armed robbery, corruption, violence, unaccountability, slothfulness and nonchalance on the part of citizens and the government at all levels towards the affairs of the country and we wonder if there’s any hope for this country. I took time to study the words of the national anthem and the national pledge and realized the power that lies within those words we recite carelessly every day and take for granted. It is such a pity that most of us have even forgotten the words of our national anthem and national pledge. It has gotten so bad that even the young ones who have little or nothing on their minds find it hard to remember these words of commitment. It is hi-time children begin to be taught the need for total devotion to their country from childhood. It is so common to hear Americans say “God bless America!” Nigerians should be able to confidently say “God bless Nigeria!” and mean it in their heart’s deepest recesses. If only we could truly recite the words of the national anthem and pledge with our hearts, the country would indeed progress at a greater speed. Please, take time to digest the words of the national anthem below and see how indeed powerful these words are and how much impact they could make in our lives if only they are genuinely recited. The national anthem reads:

Arise, O compatriots
Nigeria’s call obey
To serve our fatherland
With love and strength and faith
The labour of our heroes past
Shall never be in vain
To serve with heart and might
One nation bound in freedom
Peace and unity

O God of creation
Direct our noble cause
Guide our leaders right
Help our youth the truth to know
In love and honesty to grow
And living just and true
Great lofty heights attain
To build a nation
Where peace and justice shall reign

I would however dwell more on the national pledge. It is necessary to note that whenever we utter the words of the national anthem or the national pledge, we are making a confession that is binding on us and any action that counters our confessions make us despicable in the eyes of our Creator. The national pledge in itself is actually a promise, an oath and any action taken by us contrary to the words we recite in this national pledge makes us unfit to stand before the Lord’s sight because the Almighty God greatly despises lips that speak lies. The words of our national pledge read:

I pledge to Nigeria, my country
To be faithful, loyal and honest
To serve Nigeria with all my strength
To defend her unity
And uphold her honour and glory
So help me God

These are indeed strong words to speak and not honouring these words make us liars and infidels who are not fit to live. As Nigerians, we need to search our hearts and discover in what ways we have not been faithful to our country and address these areas accordingly. Have we been loyal to Nigeria in our words, thoughts and actions? Have we been honest? Do we serve this country with all our strength or partially? Do we pray Nigeria stays united or we prefer the country is divided? Do we actually do things that uphold Nigeria’s honour and prestige internally and among the committee of nations? In reciting the pledge, we have made a vow and we need to keep that vow. The fact remains that if only Nigerians could truly love Nigeria and work towards the progress of the country, Nigeria would not only move forward but would be among the world’s greatest nations in a short while. The ball is in our court. We are the only ones who could decide our future.

GEEBEE’S TRIP WILL CONTINUE IN THE NEXT POST.

You could read the latest episode of GEEBEE’S TRIP here.

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